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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to meet Beautiful Boyfriend From Yesteryear on a work trip?

125 replies

stealtheatingtunnocks · 17/09/2017 19:01

In the Olden Days I lived abroad in an Exotic Place and had a very happy relationship with a beautiful example of masculinity for about 18 months.

I have been married for 17 years to a lovely bloke, have three kids and a suburban life. Usual complaints and worries, but, in essence, all is well.

I am going back to Exotic Place with work for 18 days, 3 of which will be where Beautiful Boyfriend lives. A bit of FB stalking, a friend request, a nice FB catch up, very friendly and nothing inappropriate.

He's about an hour and half from where I'm working. WIBU to arrange to meet him for coffee, in the afternoon for a "hiya, nice to see you're doing well?"

Or, is that a TERRIBLE idea?

Votes:

OP posts:

SilverdaleGlen · 17/09/2017 19:02

Terrible idea

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 17/09/2017 19:03

You know the answer to this.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 17/09/2017 19:03

It's a really bad idea, but you know that already

Poshindevon · 17/09/2017 19:04

It might be a terrible idea but I would meet him. For old times sake.
Simple as that.

PinkHeart5913 · 17/09/2017 19:04

I think as long as you tell your dh before you meet him, it isn't a problem. If you fail to mention it to your dh, You know your hiding it for a reason.

If you think you want to shag him still, if there is any attraction still, You would be very stupid to meet up.

chitofftheshovel · 17/09/2017 19:05

Would you tell your husband? If yes then it's fine, if not then it's not.

Hulababy · 17/09/2017 19:05

Show your dh the thread post. What is/woud be his thoughts?

Imagine the roles reversed - dh away meeting up with beautiful ex girlfriend - how would you feel?

Papafran · 17/09/2017 19:05

Well as long as you would be happy with your DH meeting beautiful ex girlfriend from yesteryear to catch up...

category12 · 17/09/2017 19:06

If it's genuinely a catch-up, no problem at all.

Although if you're not telling your DH your plan, there's something up.

chitofftheshovel · 17/09/2017 19:06

X post with pink great minds!

Original poster

stealtheatingtunnocks · 17/09/2017 19:06

Yeah. I'm awfully faithful.

I'd stick to coffee, in the afternoon and drive back to where I'm staying.

His nieces used to stay EOW and we'd play houses looking after them. They were only preschool at the time, now all grown up. Would love to see them.

And, yip, I have happy thoughts of the shag-a-thons, but, then, everyone has that in their history. Couldn't be arsed nowadays.

OP posts:

hana32 · 17/09/2017 19:06

I would do it. I'd be too curious not to.

Fauchelevent · 17/09/2017 19:07

This post is hilariously and wonderfully written. But you know the answer.

MaisyPops · 17/09/2017 19:08

If it's a nostalgic catch up whilst you're out there and there's no feelings, the boat has sailed etc then it should be fine (as long as you are honest with your husband).

I don't think it's automatically a bad idea as long as it's all above board. I have to say, i'd be quite curious.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2017 19:08

Show your H this thread. Then go for it with his blessing.

MyNewBearTotoro · 17/09/2017 19:08

If it is literally just meeting him for an hour or two for coffee in a public place then that sounds fine, so long as you don't hide it from your husband and you dont hold any old feelings for him.

If you still have feelings for him, if your marriage/ sex life are in any way disappointing or if there's another reason you might find it hard to resist temptation if he made a pass at you I wouldn't go through with it, but a coffee as old friends who've moved on sounds fine.

Whinesalot · 17/09/2017 19:09

Would you tell your husband? If yes then it's fine, if not then it's not.

Best to keep it a nice fantasy.

OnionKnight · 17/09/2017 19:09

As long as you tell your husband.

Original poster

stealtheatingtunnocks · 17/09/2017 19:11

I could grow my moustache as an amulet against caffeined-up-shag?

OP posts:

RonSwansonsMoustache · 17/09/2017 19:11

Would you be happy if your husband went off to some tropical destination and met up with a gorgeous ex-girlfriend?

NancyJoan · 17/09/2017 19:12

Tell your husband. Wear really bad underwear. Eat garlic on the way.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2017 19:13

Do be sure to actually show your h this entire thread. Complete with romantic fiction prose.

UrsulaPandress · 17/09/2017 19:14

You will drink wine in the afternoon and up having 'for old times' sake' sex.

Original poster

stealtheatingtunnocks · 17/09/2017 19:14

Telling DH is a bit of a conundrum, actually.

Don't much feel like telling him. Which I can see is weird and, yep, problematic enough to have a think about.

Only cos he's being like a fecking toddler about my "jolly away" and how boo hoo he'll have to look after his own kids for the duration (only, he won't because my mum's coming and I'm batch cooking and car pooling like a demon in preparation)

He's guaranteed to say something like "I don't mind, do what you like".

As I said, I'm horribly faithful. I am a very, very dull person. With a decent facial hair issue.

OP posts:

Shockers · 17/09/2017 19:14

Perhaps ask for a catch-up coffee with him and nieces at the same time.

But... even if he is still beautiful, remember all you would have to lose if you went too far down memory lane.

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