AIBU to meet Beautiful Boyfriend From Yesteryear on a work trip?

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

In the Olden Days I lived abroad in an Exotic Place and had a very happy relationship with a beautiful example of masculinity for about 18 months.

I have been married for 17 years to a lovely bloke, have three kids and a suburban life. Usual complaints and worries, but, in essence, all is well.

I am going back to Exotic Place with work for 18 days, 3 of which will be where Beautiful Boyfriend lives. A bit of FB stalking, a friend request, a nice FB catch up, very friendly and nothing inappropriate.

He's about an hour and half from where I'm working. WIBU to arrange to meet him for coffee, in the afternoon for a "hiya, nice to see you're doing well?"

Or, is that a TERRIBLE idea?

Votes:

I can understand how tempting it must be, but are you ready to have all your lovely memories of Beautiful Boyfriend ruined by the paunchy bloke with the dodgy comb-over that he has possibly morphed into?

I have a couple of old flames I'm still friends with. I can be alone with them, after dark, after drinking alcohol without anything happening. It didn't seem to cross my mind, or DH's, or the old flames. Not a hint of a whisper of an old nostalgic hand hold, let alone anything else.

I just figure that once you're married, you're married. It seems to have taken anything else off the table completely for me.

So, if that's how you feel, then you should be fine.

btw - when I go away without DH I don't batch cook or do anything. He's an adult who can take care of himself, and his own offspring.

Definitely meet up but I would mention it to husband just so it doesn't become a secret between you.

Wear a helmet cam so your husband can watch the meeting.

Ivor - that had occurred to me.

Every now and then, when I'm miffed with DH, I'll do Angry Cleaning thinking "I could be living on a fucking beach"

It was a very happy time, nice to reminisce. And, they do say "never go back"

I'm probably going to xpost here - but in a very small nut shell i would say: if you can't say 'yes i'm happy' then i wouldn't meet this bloke.

Trust me. I've been there and got the t shirt.

I trust you. Do you trust yourself?

i would meet up and i would tell your dh. keep it all above board.

Yes, we're happy. In that, we are content.

I'll tell DH.

And, yes to the issue of batch cooking and preparations before I go away and my mother having to step in. It's a long, and tedious issue in our marriage and it will never change. Not ever.

I would. Just be upfront about it.

As long as you are certain it's nothing more then go for it.

I have a few old flames that I regularly meet up with for drinks etc, occasionally we reminisce about times or memories, but there is never any hint of flirting, touching etc. It's just friends talking about old times.

Terrible idea.

Do it and report back.

Go see him. Life's too short to not meet up with the lovely people you've known in your past. You DH sounds like a nob though for making you feel shit about your trip. He lives so far away you aren't going to start some sort of torrid affair.

I would, but as others have said, tell DH. My exH lives on the other side of the world. He came back recently for a mutual friend's wedding so of course we met up. He used to be the most beautiful man in the world, absolutely perfect - we divorced on very good terms and have remained friends. But seeing him after 16 years of him living away, well, he seemed to have aged more and faster than all the people I see daily. It made me sad, actually, and I wish it didn't but that's that. Be prepared to ruin old memories.

Have you seen the Inside Out (the Disney film)? I totally have a picture of the Brazilian helicopter pilot as your BBFY.

You only live once. I'd say meet up. I'm a dull cautious person too but sometimes you do have to throw caution to the wind and live.

If a man posted this they'd be flamed.

Because it's a woman it's harmless and amusing...

Of course you shouldn't meet him op. It's a ridiculously bad idea for too many reasons and disrespectful to your dp.

Don't do it vvv bad idea.

YABU

I think the fact you're asking a group of strangers if it's a good idea suggests you know it isn't.

Oh god go for it. It's lovely to wallow in nostalgia now and again. Wear enormous shag-repellent pants.

You'll ruin and complicate your memories. And do you want him to remember you as a fat middle aged woman rather than a sexy young thing. Leave the past where it belongs.

Some things - like lovely memories of beautiful ex-boyfriends from long ago - are best kept as memories.

Don't you think it's nice to have that memory, unsullied? What if you endanger it? Why take the risk? There's very little in life that's pure and pretty and delicious.

I sit on my couch from time to time, wonderfully content with my lovely DH and mostly annoying DC, and daydream. Not about what could have been but just about what was.

I did this. Ex holiday rep here (back in the old days), he was the 'love' of my life. Know what, met him 15 years later, nah.....wasn't worth it.

I'd absolutely do it. If you're happy in your marriage and have nothing but fond memories of your ex, I really can't see the harm. But I wouldn't be secretive about it. Maybe you could meet up with him and his wife and kids, for added innocuousness.