AIBU to meet Beautiful Boyfriend From Yesteryear on a work trip?

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

In the Olden Days I lived abroad in an Exotic Place and had a very happy relationship with a beautiful example of masculinity for about 18 months.

I have been married for 17 years to a lovely bloke, have three kids and a suburban life. Usual complaints and worries, but, in essence, all is well.

I am going back to Exotic Place with work for 18 days, 3 of which will be where Beautiful Boyfriend lives. A bit of FB stalking, a friend request, a nice FB catch up, very friendly and nothing inappropriate.

He's about an hour and half from where I'm working. WIBU to arrange to meet him for coffee, in the afternoon for a "hiya, nice to see you're doing well?"

Or, is that a TERRIBLE idea?

Votes:

Missed the most important bit: I'm sure that 20 or 30 days down the line I'll be sitting in my rocking chair daydreaming about today with my lovely DH. Just adding to the memories as I go along.

Days?? Years!!

Like many on here my reaction is what does lovely bloke think about you meeting beautiful? If you can;t actually tell DH what you are planning then you are the top of a slippy slope of an emotional affair. The affair-part is the anticipation, the secrecy, the thrill.

Probably best not. I think the fact that you are away in 'exotic place' rather than your local Witherspoons means that you are more likely to push thoughts of your normal life with your DCs and DH out of the way if you meet this man - e.g. You may have thoughts of 'what happens in exotic place, stays in exotic place' particularly if your day to day life is less than exciting.

You do know he's probably 20 stone and bald now?

I'd leave memories where they are. Best not spoil them.

Go for it. If you're in a happy secure marriage, why wouldn't you?

An hour and a half is a long way to go for a coffee. Three hours round trip. That says "I Want To See You", rather than "Fancy a coffee?" If you were in the same town then maybe, as it is, I wouldn´t.

You are still your whole self, even though you are married. I don't see why it has to be explained to your husband. It sounds a lovely idea and exciting, as long as the Beaut BF does know you are happily married and just coming to say hello.

So long as your DH knows. I would have nothing against my DH catching up with previous girlfriends in this manner.

I wouldn't ruin the memory tbh. What are you really going to gain?

You should meet him. See how you feel at the time.

Of course, there's always the possibility that he'd say "nah, I'm busy, got to wash what remains of my hair..."

I might. But I would tell DH. And I am also extremely happy, DH is wonderful, looks after DD beautifully when I'm away for work, and is super hot.

If I was in your marriage; 'content', DH being a little moany and inept, not telling him... No way.

Tell him 😊

I'd do it. Though be prepared for the memories to be horribly tarnished.

At a school reunion recently the only chap not to have declined spectacularly was the one who'd moved back to Canada and become a fireman. (I simpered girlishly at him and contemplated climbing a tree to get stuck.)

I am friends with most of my ex-boyfriends. My DH is fully aware, and very happy for me to do so and has even come along to meet them himself (one of them is in a famous band he likes, so he was delighted to have lunch for that one). I don't think there's anything wrong as long as it's platonic. You sound sensible and faithful, and very far from immaturely throwing yourself at this guy in a fit of madness.

I understand what you're saying about your DH: it sounds as though telling would be a PITA given how he's taking on about this trip away. I am not sure that is remotely the same thing as feeling guilty that you're doing something illicit that goes against the spirit of your promise. If you can have a reasonable conversation about it, however, it's probably worthwhile.

"Content" and "happy" are two very different things, in my opinion.

Facebook stalking, three hour round trip?

Hmmm....

Doesn't everyone Facebook stalk their exes?

I don't.

I'm far too nosy not to. Also it's madly consoling to see how the years have maltreated them.

I don't stalk exes but I am in touch with some. If I was on distant shores and knew someone from way back when I would look them up.

This has been interesting.

I'll ask him if he'd like to meet up with me with his partner. And, I can bring a friend of mine, he'd come along, they got on well together when we all hung out a lifetime ago.

Now. How can I lose 4 stones in 6 weeks?

Do it! There's no way he'll live up to your memory of him after all these years and you'll feel more content with your current life than ever.

What a shitey thing to do.