To think kids should have money?

[opheliacat]

Obviously I don't mean hundreds a month but anywhere between £2-£20 a week depending on age for over 7s seems reasonable to me.

I would hate to never be able to buy a treat for myself.

Does anyone not give their children any money?

It isn't bloody controlling if the family has a limited budget and that is in line with their budget.

ffs

Then the ampunt of money is adjusted accordingly steppe

I have not said "every child should have £20 a week".

It is quite controlling to give children NO money so I think there are comparisons.

Pot calling kettle black OP?

Er - what?

Giving £20 a month to spend on tat from Clare's accessories sounds strange. What's that really teaching them? Nothing environmental and nothing about the value of money.

Mine earn money through doing extra jobs at home or mowing people's lawns/washing cars/babysitting. They are quite balanced and practical with their own cash. They also appreciative when we treat them or when other people treat them.

Still not getting the child/adult confusion here
I can see how, if you think all humans are equally independent, it is unfair, but so is school, bedtimes, naughty step, driving at 17, voting at 18

I like money for chores, but then once it is their money if they do want to spend it on Claire's tat, well, it is up to them isn't it?

Geez, way to make low-income families feel shit! Not only do they feel terribly guilty for not being able to afford extras for their kids, but now they get told they're controlling, depriving their children of 'choice' and treats and condemning them to a miserable existence if they don't hand over coin to their kids weekly, regardless of if they truly don't have FA to hand over .

11yo DD used to get €5 a week which we both knew would go on her weekly comic and two balls of ice cream or a Lego minifig.

Now she's at secondary with three cold packed lunches a week, I'm considering a fixed amount for hot drinks from the vending machine. €3 more should do it.

When he was 16-18 DS used to get €50 at irregular intervals but he had to give me a clear idea what the previous €50 had been spent on. Now he's at University he withdraws €100 cash every week to feed and entertain himself. All other expenses go through his account which we monitor and top up as necessary.

Painting it is just about giving people a bit of choice and freedom about their life and obviously it is a gradual thing. But I wouldn't want an existence where I couldn't choose something for me just because I fancied it and so I don't expect children to either.

Mine are 15 and 16 year old girls.

They get £5 allowance a week. Not linked to chores - they are expected to do a certain amount of work in the house, we all live here.

DD15 is frugal and will save and buy something big that she wants - doc marten boots for instance - she has nice stuff,

DD16 will let it slip through her fingers the minute she gets it - going out with friends for a milkshake etc - she has nice times.

They are learning how to use their money - DD16 could not get a Gorrillaz ticket without reigning in her spending for 3 months - she could not afford it. DD15 wanted to go to the cinema with her friend so had to let the moths out of her purse...

I was a SAHM - and do not recognise this as being REMOTELY similar. We have a bank account, either of us want something we buy it. The money "belonged" to us as a couple - he contributed through work, me through doing all the rest of the crap of life. If you feel you have to ASK for money in a marriage, there is something wrong somewhere.

Mine get £1.50 a week if their bedrooms are tidy and they ask for it. Have since they were 4 and 6. They spend some on sweets and save up for things that are important to them.

I think that's fine, they seem to have plenty of tat. Didn't realise £2 was considered necessary to avoid being controlling.

Of course it isn't expat.

If someone genuinely can't afford it that is worlds apart than refusing to give it to them because you think they will waste it.

Well, I did say from about 7 so selective reading there

You are calling people controlling for not giving their children pocket money. You have no idea about these families, what their setup is, what other freedoms their children may have and you don't know what their spending model is at home.
All you know is some parents don't give pocket money and that you do! So you must be better than them .
You don't have enough information about anything here to jump to this conclusion.

DD (6, almost 7) gets £3.50 per week. Not quite enough to buy a magazine every week but she doesn't have to save long for something decent. She never buys sweets with it and saved over £100 to take on holiday this year from her pocket and birthday money.

I'm a SAHP and I absolutely do not have to ask DH if I want something non-essential - what on earth are you basing that on?

Add message | Report | Message poster opheliacat Sat 16-Sep-17 16:55:27
Well, I did say from about 7 so selective reading there wink

Was that to me? I'm not reading selectively, my children are both over 7 and get less than £2

There is no comparison at all. When you are in a SAHP/WP relationship, you are partners. You are not partners with your children.

I wasn't given pocket money, if I was going out my mum would give me some cash but that would be it. if I chose to save some from that great but I didn't have a specified amount of money every week that I had to buy all my non essentials out of. Makeup etc was just bought by my mum when I asked for it, within reason.

I do think it is pretty controlling to not give children any sort of choice over what they buy for themselves

It was horrible for me, at any rate. Like many 13 year olds I loved Claire's tat, pens, pencil cases, crap perfume and magazines. I developed a bit kf a kleptomaniac habit too which thankfully I outgrew!

Don't agree with kids being paid to do normal household chores. They should be taught to do those regardless, and expected to do them as part of being part of a family.

Agree that teenagers definitely need pocket money so thay can start to learn how to manage finances.

Don't agree with kids being paid to do normal household chores. They should be taught to do those regardless, and expected to do them as part of being part of a family.

Me too. Intrinsic motivation is really important. Reward centres in the brain light up when paid for doing chores - the same reward centres that light up in the brains of heroine addicts.

it is just about giving people a bit of choice and freedom about their life and obviously it is a gradual thing. But I wouldn't want an existence where I couldn't choose something for me just because I fancied it and so I don't expect children to either.

Good for you!

You are really showing your narrow mindedness here.
The assumption that being given choice and freedom can only take place by handing out pocket money.
That children not given pocket money are living a awful existence.

Carry on.

We have just started pocket money with DS aged 7. He has to make his bed every morning, but that's it. We will add in little jobs as he gets older and more used to the responsibility. I decided I am not raising a son who does not know how to look after himself (glares at MIL and DH) and also it is useful for teaching budgeting. Plus, he gets sole choice over what he spends his money on, and he is enjoying that freedom also. We give enough weekly to cover a magazine, so about £4.00 a week.

Titty, they are also the same reward centres that light up when you eat your dinner, should we stop feedinng them too?