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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids should have money?

167 replies

opheliacat · 16/09/2017 14:40

Obviously I don't mean hundreds a month but anywhere between £2-£20 a week depending on age for over 7s seems reasonable to me.

I would hate to never be able to buy a treat for myself.

Does anyone not give their children any money?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/09/2017 15:28

DS1 is 9, nearly 10 and he doesn't get pocket money. If he did, it would all go on Pokémon cards, most of which he already has.
He does have birthday money, and I give him money for e.g. school camps to buy souvenirs.
But he and DS2 get lots of "treats" anyway (too many, I'm a bit of a soft touch) so there's not really anything much he needs the money for.

When he's at senior school, he'll probably get pocket money.

I never had any pocket money but my Dad used to buy my weekly comic for me - we didn't have a whole lot of money anyway, so I guess my parents didn't see the need for it. This led to some regrettable incidents when I was in senior school, but then I got a weekend job at 15 (had also done a part-time paper round holiday cover for a friend a few times) so was earning my own money.

I do think it's important to teach children the value of money and how to handle it appropriately - but not too young. Ds2 is nearly 5 - he won't be getting any pocket money any time soon either.

ShitOrBust · 16/09/2017 15:32

i think kids should get pocket money, in exchange for doing chores.

one of my friends got nothing when she was a kid or teenager, ever. she never had a bob.
her parents were both teachers in ireland - therefore on nice money, at the top of their pay scale till retirement.

her parents ever gave her or her sister anything. ever.
first money they ever got was inheritance after both parents died.

Goldmandra · 16/09/2017 15:32

We tried pocket money but it never worked for us. Our DDs never asked and we forgot to give it to them.

We ended up just buying them what they wanted within reason when they wanted it and giving them money for meeting up with friends, etc as an when they needed it. They, in turn thought about what they were asking for and understood if they needed to wait until after payday.

DD1 got a job aged 16 mucking out stables and saved that up to buy her first car. She obviously learned money management well enough that way as she hasn't had any issues with budgeting in her first two years of university.

brasty · 16/09/2017 15:33

The point is it is their money. So what if they spend it all on Pokemon cards? Things that kids see as important, are not the same things adults see as important.

MaroonPencil · 16/09/2017 15:35

I don't give mine (7 and 9) pocket money. Their grandparents give them £1 a week which they collect in chunks when they see them, but that was the grandparents' choice, if they hadn't decided to do that I wouldnt' have been giving the kids money every week.

They get given money for holidays, birthdays and random occasions by various relatives so it's not like they are badly off. DS2 saved up for a Kindle and they both recently saved up for expensive DS games; at times they have had more than £60 in their money box - I don't really want to add to that. Also, they have far too many sweets/ ice creams/ milkshakes/ cakes already, I really don't want to empower them to buy more!

DJBaggySmalls · 16/09/2017 15:36

Yanbu, how else are they supposed to learn how to budget? It doesnt have to be £20 a week, its what you can afford.

Cheerybigbottom · 16/09/2017 15:39

When my 5 year old ds started collecting imaginext toys he always wanted to buy a blind bag (£2.99) from Argos when we did the big shop next door. I wanted to explain why you can't just buy things you want.

£1 a week pocket money he saved up to buy a blind bag every 3 weeks was a great lesson.

I could say so you want your £1 to spend it or save. Once he had all the imaginext toys he was used to saving and puts the money in a savings tub now. He doesn't ask me to buy things in shops.

soupforbrains · 16/09/2017 15:43

I completely understand the idea behind this in the sense of teaching them to budget, and understand the value of money.

My DS is 10 so in his last year at primary. I don't give him pocket money. He does get birthday/Christmas money and occasional monetary rewards for major achievements. I also occasionally give him money as 'payment' for jobs around the house.

He has learned about budgeting and the value of money through saving up these amounts to spend on things he wants and 'treats' for himself as you say.

I don't think that it is necessary for kids to have pocket money or an allowance for them to gain these benefits. Although I do think that once they are at secondary school it is more the norm and also more important as they begin to be more independent and have need for little bits of money for socialising and clothing etc.

I like PP's way of giving £X pocket money and £Y clothing allowance. I may use that when DS moves to secondary next year.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 15:45

It is partly about allowing them to budget but it is also about giving them independence.

My parents were not stingy with me. I had books, clothes, toys and ice creams on days out. But I couldn't buy something I liked but they didn't.

OP posts:
SleepingBooty · 16/09/2017 15:46

Mine don't, 9&5. They don't need it. They have birthday money which goes into savings. The 9yo much prefers to spend my money anyway. The plan is when they're 11, they get their own current account and debit card and I'll transfer a monthly amount.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 15:47

Would you all be OK with your husbands not giving you any money because you don't need it?

OP posts:
Turquoisetamborine · 16/09/2017 15:48

My son who is nearly nine gets £10 a week from one grandad in return for keeping his homework up to date. He tends to get pocket money from another grandad in the school holidays as he has more opportunity to spend money then. He doesn't get anything from us on a regular basis but we buy him magazines weekly and treat him regularly.

He's getting better at managing his money and sometimes decides to spend it on clothes he likes or save it up for games.

I got a total of £5 a week from various grandparents when I was growing up and would supplement it by saving my dinner money at senior school as I liked nothing better than going shopping for the day. I was babysitting by 13 and would supplement that by 30-40 a week depending on how much work I could get. I loved earning money (still do).

Katedotness1963 · 16/09/2017 15:49

My parents never gave us pocket money. I didn't have anything to spend until I started working. As a teenager it was horrible, spending a Saturday in town with your friends. They go for chips, you're not hungry...they have a Coke/coffee, you're not thirsty...they're buying green eye shadow and fruity flavoured lip gloss, you don't like make-op...

Aridane · 16/09/2017 15:53

I agree with you, OP

Natsku · 16/09/2017 15:53

6 year old DD gets a euro a week if she does her job (sweeping the stairs and landing three times a week), some weeks she doesn't do it so doesn't get paid. She gets extra money for doing extra jobs like picking up the sticks in the garden from the pruned trees/hedges, scrubbing the sauna benches, picking up the windfall apples and cleaning the car (inside).
She mostly spends on sweets but sometimes saves up for a toy. I like the idea of a clothing budget when she's a teenager.

totoromama · 16/09/2017 15:56

My dd's get lots of money spent on them a month. They do get £5 a week but usually it is spent on roblox or another internet based activity. They often forget they have had money spent on them and still ask for money to buy crap.which we do. So cash not yet dd1 is in y7 so I expect to be giving her Money to go out with her friends but we are lucky if they want something over £50 we will buy it but they may have to wait a couple of weeks. Under £10 gets bought there and then

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/09/2017 15:57

Would you all be OK with your husbands not giving you any money because you don't need it?

I don't think I would be too happy being told I wasn't being given 'pocket money' tbh. I just have access to dps money, as does he to mine.

pointythings · 16/09/2017 15:58

Mine are 14 and 16. For the past 2 years they have had their own bank accounts with debit cards (they cannot go overdrawn). They get £40/month each. Out of that they have to buy all their own non-school clothes and shoes, presents for their friends, music that they want and all cosmetics except for essential hair- and skincare. I buy undies, socks and all school stuff. It works well, they've really learned what things cost and are good at managing their accounts online.

sobeyondthehills · 16/09/2017 16:02

My DS (5) gets a £1 a week for doing his chores, which is tidying his toys up in the lounge. He does that then he gets his £1, he wants the whole of the lego batman range, which goes from a tenner right up to over £200. He is saving up for one at the moment that is £16.

We also try and save £20 a month for him, which goes into a bank account, he doesn't know this and he will get it at either 18 or 21. Not sure which yet

toomuchtooold · 16/09/2017 16:05

I started with pocket money with my two (5yo) because they were always wanting those crap magazines for little kids. Like 4 quid for a pamphlet and a shit toy. So I said they could have it as pocket money. One of them saves it religiously, the other one occasionally still succumbs to the lure of the magazine rack but she always says it was worth it Smile

Salmakia · 16/09/2017 16:07

Mine doesn't, maybe when she is at secondary but she goes everywhere with me and if she wants anything (within reason) I'd buy it for her.

corythatwas · 16/09/2017 16:10

I gave mine pocket money from year 1 at school. But even the modest lower amount you fixed in your OP might be too much for some families; as for giving £20 a week to a teenager, frankly dh and I don't have that much to spend on our own non-essentials. If ds wants that much money then he will have to get a job and earn it.

I did have an allowance when I was a teen but it didn't allow for unthinking spending, and tbh I was grateful for that when I got to university and realised how difficult it was for my peers to keep within budget because they weren't used to having to think through their casual spending.

I do think access to money is a good thing. but I also think getting in the habit of needless eating and drinking is damaging for health, environment and budget alike.

steppemum · 16/09/2017 16:12

My husband doesn't 'give me money'

WE have money that is used for joint and individual stuff.

My kids get pocket money, but not much. Partly because we don't have a lot, and partly because I think it encourages them to save for stuff.

In a thread on here a while ago about pocket money some primary age kids had £5 per week.
I asked wht they spent it on, and the answer was they went ot places like Clair's and bought bits and peices.

To be honest I was shocked. £5 per child per week going on absolute tat. But also the kids learn that they can walk into a shop and buy what they like. When they are 18 and students they will need to budget and be careful with what they have, and learn to say no to buying trinkets.
Also made me realise my kids go shopping in town about 3 times per year! I do not spend my saturdays in town, so my kids aren't in the habit of shopping anyway

I don't link mine to chores because I think they should do their share round the house because they live in the house. But I have also heard the argument that they should earn the money they get like in real life.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:13

You're hardly buying whatever you like with £5.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 16/09/2017 16:14

DS gets €2 a week pocket money and he is 8. I don't have the spare money to give him €20 (WTF) and that would be far too much for him to manage anyway.

With his €2 he usually buys sweets. Sometimes little toys like fidget spinners or trading cards. He keeps saying he wants to save but then doesn't actually manage it.