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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids should have money?

167 replies

opheliacat · 16/09/2017 14:40

Obviously I don't mean hundreds a month but anywhere between £2-£20 a week depending on age for over 7s seems reasonable to me.

I would hate to never be able to buy a treat for myself.

Does anyone not give their children any money?

OP posts:
Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:15

Bertie, £20 a week would be for 16, rather than 8! £2 a week is about right for that age, I'd say.

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MiaowTheCat · 16/09/2017 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickAChew · 16/09/2017 16:16

My 13yo gets£3 per week to cover stationery supplies plus he's given spending money for specific occasional events.

JasmineOill · 16/09/2017 16:19

No pocket money here.

PaintingByNumbers · 16/09/2017 16:20

Whats with the comparison with husbands? My kids get told what time they're going to bed/what i'm cooking for tea/that they better do their homework. Funnily enough, if my husband told me those things, i'd tell him.where to go
Know the difference?
Its cos they are kids and i'm in a parental role

Anyhow, back to pocket money, mine dont get it, or only just started, they never wanted it either. Now they are teens they can do their own clothes shopping etc, so sure, why not have pocket money. Until then, no need

steppemum · 16/09/2017 16:20

£5 at primary age to wander in to Claire's and spend every Saturday - that is pretty much buying whatever you like, it is a huge amount of money for an 8/9 year old!

arethereanyleftatall · 16/09/2017 16:20

Mine don't get any. They're 6&8.
no complaints.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:22

Yes, but painting, the point is that many SAHPs in theory don't need money. The mortgage is paid, the grocery shop done, and if you want new shoes, you only need to ask your husband.

That's not a setup most of us would feel comfortable with. I would hate to have no independence, and I did hate it as a child.

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Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:23

It really isn't steppe

But anyway it doesn't have to be £5. Or Claire's. But they shohld have something.

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Fairylea · 16/09/2017 16:23

We don't give pocket money as such as in a regular amount but if dd is going out with friends she knows she will get about £5-10 depending on what they're doing (she is 14), more if it's a special outing.

If we all go out somewhere and she sees something reasonable that she likes we will usually buy it for her and when we pop to Tesco she knows she can usually have a snack or chocoate she wants.

It works fine for us. She gets money for Christmas and birthdays and this usually ends up being about £300 (ex and grandparents and us) and that lasts her ages for treats and spends we wouldn't buy for her.

Havingahorridtime · 16/09/2017 16:26

Money is tight here so my 13 year old gets £5 per week plus I pay his phone bill which is £12 a month. I buy all of His clothes, shoes and toiletries. If he is going out with friends to the cinema etc then he gets money for that but it is something he rarely does. I always get him a cinema gift card loaded with £40 for birthdays and xmas and that covers 2 cinema trips (he gets other stuff too).

Havingahorridtime · 16/09/2017 16:28

And I felt our pocket money arrangement was really a pitiful amount until I read this thread.

NikiBabe · 16/09/2017 16:29

Up to £80 a month for a 7 year old?

They dont need anything. They are financially dependent for housing, food, clothing, etc. They toys and treats at christmas, birthdays etc.

Some working adults dont have £80 a month to spend on treats for themsleves and a child is likely to waste it on rubbish and sweets.

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/09/2017 16:30

But a child doesn't need financial independence! Maybe a teenager but 8? Up to about 14 I really don't see the need tbh

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:31

Not completely, no, but to deny them any sort of independent decisions for things they would like to buy seems unfair to me.

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becotide · 16/09/2017 16:31

I've just started giving my kids £5 weekly each but this is on the proviso that I have had good behaviour, homework is completed and chores are done without complaint. I know it's notmuch, but I'm on inome support and it's all I can give them. I buy their toiletaries, clothes and pay for clubs - it's not their fault that one child is greasy haired and needs to wash it daily and the other one can get away with a water rinse once a week.

Bumply · 16/09/2017 16:32

I started giving ds1 pocket money (£3/wk originally) to stop him begging for magazines with a toy, or those toys in an egg you used to have in supermarket exits.
"Yes you can have one if you use your own money" was great at making him think about whether he actually wanted it.
Sometimes he bought tat every week. Once (when he got £5/wk) he saved up more than half a year to get one of those remote controlled robots.
When ds2 started getting pocket money as well it turned into virtual money I kept tabs on in a spreadsheet, because they never had it on them when they wanted to make a purchase and two money boxes in a flat where other children came round as well was at risk of pilfering.

Youngest is now a teen with a goHenry card and gets a bit extra if he does chores (putting out recycling, changing the sheets)

becotide · 16/09/2017 16:32

Should add - they are not allowed to buy edibles.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:32

Niki I clearly said between £2-£20, thinking it would be obvious £20 would be more for teens and would include phones, bus/train fares, meeting up with friends, toiletries, clothes, shoes, makeup ...

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expatinscotland · 16/09/2017 16:33

Mine get it in exchange for chores. Don't really buy treat culture, however. I think it's not advisable to teach children that they are entitled to 'treats'.

StickThatInYourPipe · 16/09/2017 16:35

I think seems unfair to you because you are bizarrely comparing it to a SAHP/WP relationship. £20 a week is a lot of money for a child. Would be better to chuck into savings for them when they are older and they can have a small amount to go towards a house or travelling or whatever.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:37

Yes, to a child, not so much to a teenager!

Do i really have to say primary aged kids £2-£5 and older teens in the 14-17 bracket £10-£20? Grin Apparently so!

It is quite controlling to give children NO money so I think there are comparisons.

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steppemum · 16/09/2017 16:40

Some working adults dont have £80 a month to spend on treats for themsleves and a child is likely to waste it on rubbish and sweets.

exactly.
and £5 per week for a primary child is £20 per month, x 3 children, that is a large chunk of money.

£20 per week for teens - fine, if they are buying their own stuff out of it, but £20 per week to go to the cinema, pop into McDonalds.

Well, no wonder this country has a huge out of control debt habit.
Many adults do not have enough money to go out eveyr weekend. we save, plan it, use our money wisely. A kid has to learn to do that. They don't learn it if every time they go to the shops they have plenty of money in their pocket.

If they have to think - do I want to spend my money on that? then they learn.

Original poster
opheliacat · 16/09/2017 16:43

Then if you don't have it, don't give it.

There is a big middle ground between nothing at all and £20 a week.

My own parents were not stingy, but like a PP thought anything I liked was tat and a waste of money. Now, obviously it was, but the point was, I liked it.

Not giving children any money at all takes choice and freedom away from them, which can be a bit of a miserable existence.

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allegretto · 16/09/2017 16:43

My children are 7 and 13. They don't get any pocket money but I don't think they are missing out - they get some money for their birthdays.