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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

608 replies

brodyblake · 15/09/2017 16:10

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length Hmm they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
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FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 18:03

Seeingadistance
What business of the school's is it how pupils style their hair?

What business is it of the school"s?? Er, the pupils are pupils of the school. Hmm The uniform is set by the school and is part of setting standards of the school. The uniform is about uniting the pupils together in a common pride and standard, and is about appearance. Haircuts are part of appearance.

And to put a child in isolation and deprive them of education for a haircut?!

Through the decision of their parents, the child is punished, as per the rules which the parents know of beforehand.

For what it's worth - a skin fade to me is what, as others have pointed out, used to be called a short back and sides, and is the kind of haircut men of my father's generation had - and he's in his 80s.

Very nice. It's 2017, not the 1930s however. Uniformity and the definition of 'extreme' is within context of periods, obviously.

I'm a middle-aged woman, a church minister and currently have an undercut. The back and sides of my head are a number 2, so that would mean that I'd fall foul of the "nothing less than a number 3" policy that some pps' school have!

Yes it would. Fortunate then that you are not a school pupil falling foul of rules which don't apply to you then.

For goodness sake!

Precisely.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 15/09/2017 18:05

As a parent sending your child there, you agree to the rules and discipline policy

I dont agree to them changing it

If it was in place from the first day at the school fair enough

LuluJakey1 · 15/09/2017 18:07

You should have stuck to the policy. The way you can tell it IS extreme is that the other boys in school are not in isolation because they don't have an extreme hair cut. Follow the policy or move him somewhere that accepts those haircuts. You don't get to decide who goes in school isolation.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 15/09/2017 18:15

My son's school is really strict with uniforms and hair generally but because they have a cadet force they are actively encouraging short neat styles like this. As a senior cadet, DS has to have his hair cut every few weeks and has one of these skin fades with a longer bit on top just enough to gel into a tiny quiff. They aren't allowed to dye their hair.

To be honest I don't get the angst about hair. The hair isn't learning maths or debating religion. As long as it's clean and tidy why does it matter?

Willow2017 · 15/09/2017 18:18

You should have stuck to the policy. The way you can tell it IS extreme is that the other boys in school are not in isolation because they don't have an extreme hair cut

How the actual freak could she do that before school started? Has she got a crystal ball?

lampshady · 15/09/2017 18:22

Of course "extreme" == "fashionable", however, frequent hair cuts, dyes and styling products cost money that some families for not have. It's about the students looking the same so there is nothing to single anyone out, not some draconian power trip. Children bully other children, and the best behaviour management in the world won't stop that. Let the poorer ones look like their peers in school, at least.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:24

Our school is nothing shorter than a number 2 other schools locally are either a 3 or a 2.

Ours too. They were quite clear. Quite strict on enforcing it too.

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 18:25

I think the idea that uniforms reduce bullying has been fairly widely debunked. Most schools in the US and Europe don't enforce uniforms and their levels of bullying are similar to those in England.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:26

What business of the school's is it how pupils style their hair?

When DD started secondary school. She had yo sign an agreement to the rules of the school, and understanding that whilst she is IN their uniform, she is representing THEM. I suppose that's what business it is of the schools. Confused

GherkinSnatch · 15/09/2017 18:28

Most schools in the US and Europe don't enforce uniforms and their levels of bullying are similar to those in England.

But they do enforce dress codes.

FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 18:32

Most schools in the US and Europe don't enforce uniforms and their levels of bullying are similar to those in England

That statistically is a meaningless statement. Using this supposed stat to quantify the effect of one singular measure among thousands, doesn't offer any conclusion about the effect of uniforms on bullying. Countless other factors could increase, decrease or counteract any reducing effect of uniforms on bullying for all we know.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:32

Most schools in the US and Europe don't enforce uniforms and their levels of bullying are similar to those in England.

It's not bullying to enforce a dress code.

lampshady · 15/09/2017 18:33

It's about looking the same, not just bullying, as you'll see by my post. There are issues surrounding self esteem, fitting in, feeling part of a community. Because of the problems of the middle classes sweeping into outstanding school areas and making houses more expensive, those that attend their local outstanding school that don't have access to the same resources are already disadvantaged.

Some students can't afford to go on school trips, so the minimum the school can do is ensure everyone looks the same.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:33

And to put a child in isolation and deprive them of education for a haircut?!

They're not depriving them of an education. They're still learning. Just not in class.

lampshady · 15/09/2017 18:33

That wasn't on reply to you, jonsnow.

Sallystyle · 15/09/2017 18:38

Yes, it's 'no fashionable haircuts' and not extreme.

It's fucking ridiculous OP. No excuse for that rule at all and certainly no excuse to class that as an 'extreme haircut'

I also teach my children that it is ok to question rules. Some rules like this are so pathetic they are begged to be broken.

The only hair rule we have (at middle school) is that it is to be tied up if it's shoulder length. I am pretty sure that came about due to the nits constantly going around.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:39

I think the idea that uniforms reduce bullying has been fairly widely debunked

Has it? My Mum was a single parent on very little money with two secondary kids in school. We were always bullied for having the cheap stuff whilst the popular girls (went to a girls school) swanned around in nike trainers etc etc.

DD is now at a posh school where the uniform rules are strictly enforced. There is NO named/branded stuff allowed whatsoever, PE kit is school logoed and has to be bought from the uniform shop and I walked past a PE lesson the other day picking DD up early for an appointment, they were all in the same primark trainers for PE.

Sprinklestar · 15/09/2017 18:43

This is just staggering! Following WW2, the Reggio Emilia approach to education was developed in Italy as a response to people essentially following the pack and not questioning authority. It has been hugely successful. Of course this kind of idiotic pettiness should be challenged! Even if the haircut were extreme (which it isn't!), the rule needs to challenged. What a sad world we must live in, where rules must be followed at all costs and common sense is not allowed to prevail.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:45

It's fucking ridiculous OP. No excuse for that rule at all and certainly no excuse to class that as an 'extreme haircut'

Why is it? If you (collective use of the word) don't like the rules a school sets, you can always move them?

I get that it's annoying OP, maybe you can have a word with the school and ask them to clarify what they meant by extreme?

I.e DDs school said, no fashion shoes, then went on to explain they must be leather, no embellishments, no trainers etc etc. Then went on to explain all their other rules too.

There was a school in the news last week where 70 kids were put in isolation, someone pointed out the school had 700 students so it was a minority when you look at it that way.

How long is he likely to be in isolation for if they are waiting for his hair to grow back first? Confused

FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 18:46

Sprinklestar

Whose "common sense" exactly?

Goshthatwentwell · 15/09/2017 18:47

I wish they would just be honest and say no chav haircuts. You can be rasta or a bit different as long as it's not rough looking.

Long nitty hair will always be the lot of the neglected kids. Different thing all together.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:48

Even if the haircut were extreme (which it isn't!), the rule needs to challenged. What a sad world we must live in, where rules must be followed at all costs and common sense is not allowed to prevail.

At all costs? Confused it's hair, it'll grow back, and Isolation for a short while, come October this will be a distant memory.

lampshady · 15/09/2017 18:49

It's not about individuals though! It's about fostering a sense of community and identity.

ThePurpleOneWithTheNut · 15/09/2017 18:50

I think those haircuts look rather smart Confused

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 18:50

There are issues surrounding self esteem, fitting in, feeling part of a community

So children in European countries without uniform rules all have low self-esteem, issues fitting in and no sense of community?