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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

608 replies

brodyblake · 15/09/2017 16:10

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length Hmm they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
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ShoesHaveSouls · 15/09/2017 17:29

I think it's outrageous that your son has been put into isolation for a hairstyle I really do.

I don't know how far you'll get complaining though - schools these days seem to be on their own authoritative power trip about petty stuff.

MongerTruffle · 15/09/2017 17:31

The school I work at requires boys' hair to be at least a no. 2 on the sides.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/09/2017 17:31

Oooohhh... I feel a daily fail article coming on!
Get him to practice his sad face! Sad

JanQuadrantVincent · 15/09/2017 17:32

To those saying follow the rules, from what brodyblake says it doesn't seem clear cut.

A bit like saying - bags can be green, but not too light and not too dark. How the merry fuck are you supposed to know where the line is.

FWIW my DH (who runs his own business, successfully, with a key customer facing component) has a similar haircut - hasn't been deemed unprofessional so far.

FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 17:34

If your son has anything like the Skin Fade images here and on the net, I would have thought it obvious that this would not be acceptable.

Why didn't you OP ensure he had a hair cut which would definitely have been acceptable such that he would not miss his schooling? That would be a simple hairstyle approximately the same length all over that does not create a strong contrast between the top and the bottom, which is considered extreme today?

lampshady · 15/09/2017 17:34

Why do you think it's all about your own children? It's not - it's for those that can't keep up with the fashions because they have no money.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 15/09/2017 17:35

Waiting for the Daily Mail to put this up Sad

NotAgainYoda · 15/09/2017 17:35

Extreme(ly) horrible?

EamonnWright · 15/09/2017 17:37

Why do you think it's all about your own children? It's not - it's for those that can't keep up with the fashions because they have no money.

So no one can have a fashionable haircut? What about trainers for PE?

nomdepoo · 15/09/2017 17:44

YANBU - I wouldn't have called that an extreme haircut!

Lots of different colours or a Mohican would be extreme...

I would challenge this rule - haircut doesn't affect ability to learn or apply himself in school...

Not that a multicoloured hair would be significant in learning either, but perhaps it offends some people's idea of smart...?

Which makes me think ANY hair rules are nonsense.

Kbear · 15/09/2017 17:46

Same rule applies at our local school. Many an overzealously shaved head been sent home. They do however allow long, unwashed, unbrushed, nit ridden hair on boys so that's nice.

Latest rule they are clamping down on (which is in fact on the prospectus cos I've just looked it up) boys must be clean shaven - apparently some boys have stubble and some are a more hairy and this must be dealt with or detentions galore. DS has some Sikh friends who don't shave and I wonder how this will pan out.....

I fail to see how this affects Maths or English but thems the rules.

pigsDOfly · 15/09/2017 17:46

I have a photograph of my father taken when he was in the police probably taken well before ww2 - father was born in 1900. He has a very similar haircut - short back and sides - only a lot shorter on top.

How is the current look extreme? It's just short hair. It's neat and tidy, easy to keep clean and will not get in the way during PE.

Tbh I think it's an extremely unfaltering look, but other than that really don't see how anyone could take offence at it.

Seems like it's school rules though, but to stop a boy from attending school with his peers and putting him in isolation because of it is utterly ridiculous. Do they honestly think that his hairstyle is somehow going to distract other children in the class? If not then putting him in isolation for several weeks is just spiteful.

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 17:48

WTF difference does a child's haircut make to their (or their classmates') ability to learn? This kind of ridiculous rule would have me tempted to pull my kid out of a school if I lived in the UK.

TheHamptons · 15/09/2017 17:49

It's no time for us to decide what we think it acceptable.

The school makes the rules, and by sending your child there, you are deemed to accept those rules. In fact, my school has parents sign an agreement saying they will cooperate with the school, and that the parent agrees to help their child follow the rules as set out.

If you don't like the school, or its rules, you are free to remove your child and take them to a different school or home educate.

Either that, or follow the rules the school sets.

tiggytape · 15/09/2017 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 17:52

Why do you think it's all about your own children? It's not - it's for those that can't keep up with the fashions because they have no money.

So the rule is not "no extreme haircuts", it's "no fashionable haircuts"?

Seeingadistance · 15/09/2017 17:55

What business of the school's is it how pupils style their hair? And to put a child in isolation and deprive them of education for a haircut?!

For what it's worth - a skin fade to me is what, as others have pointed out, used to be called a short back and sides, and is the kind of haircut men of my father's generation had - and he's in his 80s.

I'm a middle-aged woman, a church minister and currently have an undercut. The back and sides of my head are a number 2, so that would mean that I'd fall foul of the "nothing less than a number 3" policy that some pps' school have!

For goodness sake!

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 17:56

If you don't like the school, or its rules, you are free to remove your child and take them to a different school or home educate

Either that, or follow the rules the school sets

Equally, people are free to complain/lobby/try to change things. Over 90% of secondary schools in England enforce a school uniform, so if people don't want to home educate, then the don't have much choice for their children really. For most people, every single school for miles around will have uniform rules.

I'm not a big fan of the idea that "if you are unhappy with a choice which is in most cases not really a choice at all, then you must like it or lump it".

5rivers7hills · 15/09/2017 17:57

It is silly. I fucking hate stupid rules like this by umped up power hungry schools that insist on blazers and ties and isolation (god knows what might happen if boys have short hair, or long hair, and other children SEE them!)

I fail to see how a neat and tidy, sensible hair style (i.e. short hair, long hair tied back) in any way gets in the way of learning.

TheHamptons · 15/09/2017 17:58

The school makes their own rules.

As a parent sending your child there, you agree to the rules and discipline policy.

Don't like it, move your child.

Or just suck it up and remember next time they're at the barbers not to go for the full Peaky Blinders cut.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 15/09/2017 17:58

The stupidity on this thread is staggering. Schools attempt to enforce this shit because it creates a strict working environment with a no-nonsense approach to managing behaviour. If you have control of this stuff, the bigger stuff - which will impact on learning - simply won't happen.

Spend some time in a 'good' secondary school and observe the difference in uniform standards between that and one in special measures. I guarantee the school in special measures will have kids with all sorts of weird and wonderful adjustments to the basic uniform. The better school - both in terms of behaviour and results and Ofsted grading - will have control of hair length. Every time.

No doubt there will be tons of anecdotal evidence proving me wrong but I would urge people to look at standards of different schools when driving around their town and give it some thought. No, there is no immediate impact on the learning of the individual whatever their hair length but whether you like it or not, a school is educating hundreds.

5rivers7hills · 15/09/2017 17:59

I also don't think a 'skin fade' is extreme. I think it looks smart actually.

Willow2017 · 15/09/2017 17:59

Our school only mentions uniform nothing about haircuts at all.

They are planning on stopping him from learning until his hair grows to what they decide is 'not extreme'? Are they going to measure it every day? What a valuable lesson to learn, school can stop you learning on a technicality.

follow the rules the school sets
Considerinig short at the side is not 'extreme' the school should makes the rules a lot clearer.

DiegoMadonna · 15/09/2017 18:02

The school makes their own rules.

As a parent sending your child there, you agree to the rules and discipline policy.

Don't like it, move your child.

Equally, people are free to complain/lobby/try to change things. Over 90% of secondary schools in England enforce a school uniform, so if people don't want to home educate, then the don't have much choice for their children really. For most people, every single school for miles around will have uniform rules.

I'm not a big fan of the idea that "if you are unhappy with a choice which is in most cases not really a choice at all, then you must like it or lump it". Especially when it comes to state institutions.

Willow2017 · 15/09/2017 18:02

the school in special measures will have kids with all sorts of weird and wonderful adjustments to the basic uniform. The better school - both in terms of behaviour and results and Ofsted grading - will have control of hair length. Every time

Maybe they should learn to make things clear then instead of some wishy washy 'no extreme hair cuts' considering they are supposed to be teaching the kids? Extreme would be mohawks, multi coloured, shaped into a swastica etc not a neat and tidy short hair cut.

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