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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

608 replies

brodyblake · 15/09/2017 16:10

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

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PeaceAndLove1 · 15/09/2017 18:52

We must assimilate and comply. It's all for the greater good.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/09/2017 18:54

Surely Brody and Blake have been at school since at least last Wed (at least). Please don't be one of those mums who gets their boys a 'banned' haircut and goes to the DM about it.
It's horrible.

ThePurpleOneWithTheNut · 15/09/2017 18:55

I wonder what schools would do if school uniform actually became a fashionable look. Probably disappear up it's own rule book

WillowWeeping · 15/09/2017 18:57

It's 25 years since I've been at school and that's be considered an extreme hair cut pretty much since then

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:58

We must assimilate and comply. It's all for the greater good.

Yes. I've had to assimilate and comply in many different work places. All had different dress codes. If I didn't want to. I could leave. Then I didnt get paid.

I dont think schools are asking too much for a few simple rules to be followed.

lampshady · 15/09/2017 18:58

Lol DiegoMadonna. That's an extreme interpretation of what I said - almost strawman.

Our social structures and contexts are completely different to a lot of "European" countries. Can you expand on whether you mean Germany, Poland or Sweden for example? Just the housing market affects our education system in England in a way that is alien to a lot of mainland Europe.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/09/2017 18:59

Actually, parents need to fight a lot harder against bad school rules. I deliberately looked for a school that had a relaxed uniform policy for DS, because this sort of petty tyranny is toxic - the reason it allegedly 'improves' results is because it enables the school to get rid of all the 'challenging' kids. the terrorized remainder might pass their exams, but usually at quite a cost to their mental health.

FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 18:59

We must assimilate and comply. It's all for the greater good.

Yes, driving on the same side of the road is such a bore, isn't it?

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 18:59

I can understand your frustration OP. But it seems like the sides look shaved to which they obviously class as extreme. Hopefully it'll grow back quite quickly and at least you know for next time.

Willow2017 · 15/09/2017 19:02

I dont think schools are asking too much for a few simple rules to be followed

I dont think its asking too much for the school to be a bit more specific about what they class as 'extreme' Before school starts. A short neat style is hardly extreme. I would have thought it much better suited to the school uniform than a colourful mohichan

FlowerPot1234 · 15/09/2017 19:03

ReanimatedSGB
the terrorized remainder might pass their exams, but usually at quite a cost to their mental health.

So those who adhere to strict school uniforms are "terrorized" and "usually" complete exams but with mental health issues? And those who do not adhere or who attend schools without strict uniform policies do not have these same mental health issues?

Do you have any evidence to back up this astonishing claim?

mctat · 15/09/2017 19:04

My friends DD had a very short pixie cut and was tutted over by the headteacher for looking "like a boy" 😑😠

Dreadful, dreadful thing to say.

mctat · 15/09/2017 19:04

Oops forgot quotation marks for first para...

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:06

Willow2017 I know. I said to the OP to do that

Here >

I get that it's annoying OP, maybe you can have a word with the school and ask them to clarify what they meant by extreme?

I.e DDs school said, no fashion shoes, then went on to explain they must be leather, no embellishments, no trainers etc etc. Then went on to explain all their other rules too.

Sallystyle · 15/09/2017 19:06

Why is it? If you (collective use of the word) don't like the rules a school sets, you can always move them?

Nah. I'd prefer to challenge stupid rules which are based on power. It's not always easy to move children to another school anyway.

lampshady · 15/09/2017 19:06

Actually, parents need to fight a lot harder against bad school rules. I deliberately looked for a school that had a relaxed uniform policy for DS, because this sort of petty tyranny is toxic - the reason it allegedly 'improves' results is because it enables the school to get rid of all the 'challenging' kids. the terrorized remainder might pass their exams, but usually at quite a cost to their mental health.

That's actual nonsense. Every school I've worked in (with students at risk of exclusion) use part of their pupil premium budget for uniform and shoes for students that are on the radar and at risk of exclusion. It's a parenting issue if they choose not to wear it. It's costs a lot of money to permanently exclude a student and a lot of hoops need to be jumped through to get there. It's not a one off haircut.

I'm glad you chose a school that suits you and your children's needs, and if more people did this it wouldn't be an issue.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:11

Nah. I'd prefer to challenge stupid rules which are based on power. It's not always easy to move children to another school anyway.

Why is it a stupid rule just because you disagree with it? The lady who went to the papers with her Year 10 kid because she'd been put in isolation for having dyed hair is stupid. Anyone who's anyone knows that isn't allowed. But why are the schools rules stupid?

I know how hard it is to move schools. I still didnt like my DCs schools once they had a change of head and got a shocking Ofsted report. So I moved them. Was it easy? Course not. But I wasn't keeping my children in a school I didnt agree with.

letsmargaritatime · 15/09/2017 19:11

Ffs who are these posters who come out to defend schools with all this "well rules are rules" crap. This is an absolutely ridiculous level of control for a school to take over a child's individuality. And the logic of the people on here defending it is so flawed! Of course rules can be badly thought out, unworkable, discriminatory, just because it's a "rule" shouldn't shut down discussion! How would you like it if your workplace was this prescriptive about your haircut?

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:13

How would you like it if your workplace was this prescriptive about your haircut?

Plenty of workplaces are.

suzy2b · 15/09/2017 19:15

when my son was at school he had a 1 all over so did a lot of others it was never a problem

lampshady · 15/09/2017 19:16

As an adult, you can make an informed decision about your appearance, knowing the consequences. When working in a school/hospital I know I can't have shaved hair, so I don't. I also can't have more than one pair of earrings or a nose ring.

Why is it so awful for our children to learn this? How is it discrimination?

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:17

On what basis is it discrimination?

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:18

Yes, driving on the same side of the road is such a bore, isn't it?

FlowerPot

lampshady · 15/09/2017 19:19

Also, what do you want class teachers/tutors and middle management (because those are the people that enforce it) to do? Go against their senior management's stipulations and risk their jobs? I can assure you everyone that works in a school abides by a dress code.

JonSnowsWife · 15/09/2017 19:20

Wait for the comments about teachers in six inch heels lampshady. I've never seen a sensible teacher in anything less than flats!

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