AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

[brodyblake]

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

I find the idea that one can tell a school's quality by the dress code and how it's enforced an odd generalization probably in the same mindset that means all the struggling schools near me seem to multiple times a year bring in 'upgraded' uniforms and new policies while the schools with better results tend to just get on with it.

I don't see it as extreme or anything, we've a few barbers around here that seem to specialize in them full of adults with them. This thread has given me a possible explanation why the last two times my oldest (13) has gone to get his haircut, they've seemed wary to use clippers or give him the short sides and back he asks for, probably gotten enough earfuls about the issues with schools.

I do support my child's school. I support that they have a uniform and they have standards. I've stated VERY clearly that the pupils as a general community also support them and adhere to the standards.

But then again ds school are far more pastorally focussed than rule based dictorial focussed.

And yes I work in education. I'm well known and respected for the turn around Iv e made to pupils who were extremely violent and at times attending school on a 2:1 ratio. And guess what? I managed it without dictating to them every single part of their appearance. Respect is a 2 way street.

The realism of uniform in work places is that they are provided. I went into the bank today and there were about 8 people working there. All were dressed in the uniform - no 2 people were dressed identically or with identical hairstyles or jewellery or make up. I've been with this bank for 22 years. Not for what they dress their staff in but because they manage to provide great service despite staff having some autonomy over their appearance.

And jassy don't forget the argument "because the school says so".

oooohhh YANBU!! This stuff winds me the hell up! there was actually a lady on tv the other day who's son got excluded for dreadlocks although they never said anything about the hair when they enrolled him...contact Governors?

Schools need to set rules as way too many kids these days think they can do what they want. If they let one get away with it they will all want to do it.

Schools need to set rules as way too many kids these days think they can do what they want. If they let one get away with it they will all want to do it.

Rules need to be set thoughtfully, though, and clearly communicated. Otherwise they are potentially discriminatory, disablist, racist and sexist. There also needs to be workable punishments which work towards swift resolution. If they are not set, in this way, they actually encourage rebellion and detrimentally affect social cohesion.

No ones suggesting they don't set rules.

What those who agree and sympathise with the OP are saying is that sometimes the rules are extreme or open to interpretation.

I think hairstyle 'standards' are a good idea and certainly provide safety (think bunson burners in science!
But there's a difference between saying all hair below shoulder length should be tied up for xxxxx and saying all children must have hair of 1 shade only and all pony tails must be so far up the head with plain black and only.
Standards are reflective if society - dictated styles are not.

POndering I like you! You actually really think like me! Rules and standards are necessary and acceptable - but they shouldn't be written - just because!

Thank you, youarenotkiddingme

Flowers So explain to me what you would actually say to a teenage boy who asked what is wrong with that haircut. I can explain why skinhead cuts are not appropriate because they are associated with racism but I honestly couldn't give a valid reason why any other sort of haircut shouldn't be allowed.
PPs have posted about some schools trying to insist that all boys should be 'clean shaven'. What about Muslims? I can't think of a single job that would insist that employees have to be clean shaven so why should a school?
I'm a community nurse whose team base is in a busy London hospital. I see doctors, nurses, OTs, porters, midwives with tattoos, piercings and every kind of hairstyle under the sun - dreadlocks, blue extensions, Mohicans etc etc. As I said in the previous thread, the male doctor who saved my DD's life had bright orange hair in bunches and a plaited beard. I'm so glad the hospital didn't send him home because he didn't comply with their dress code.

lolalola19 Sat 16-Sep-17 20:11:09
Schools need to set rules as way too many kids these days think they can do what they want. If they let one get away with it they will all want to do it.

And what actual harm will result, and to whom, if all the boys in a school have a short back and sides?

There's always an anecdote about a child getting told to dye their hair after it's been bleached by the sun. It's amazing.

When I was 15 and had been abroad camping for a few weeks my dentist asked my mum where I'd got my hair highlighted and if she minded saying how much it cost as her DD was wanting it done!

And my friends DD's friend has just had an issue for same reason - except her school wanted mum to dye her undyed hair so it was one colour. The school did actually back down when the parents emailed the head with my suggested wording about how was the school safeguarding the DD emotional well being by saying her natural look was unacceptable and would affect her education.

Sometimes it's all about the wording

I knew a lad whose hair turned blonde every summer

He was a brunette normally...I've never seen anything like it

PPs have posted about some schools trying to insist that all boys should be 'clean shaven'. What about Muslims? I can't think of a single job that would insist that employees have to be clean shaven so why should a school?

The Army as has already been stated. Re the clean shaven, food preparation generally, where all hair must be tied up and facial hair covered, I've often seen male workers with beard nets on when nipping into Waitrose at lunch. Courts?

But schools are not simply set up to be army training grounds and in catering you can have different hairstyles and facial hair, you just have to wear hats and nets for hygiene purposes.

@Flowerpot1234 148 citations which, if you're not an academic is pretty impressive.

Jon Ok, so apart from the army which employs approximately 0.01% of the population? I have also seen catering workers with beard nets. But they're still
employed. They just have to cover their beard while they're at work.
What do you mean courts? So there are no lawyers with facial hair?

And jassy don't forget the argument "because the school says so".

Yes - the irony that schools are supposed to be teaching children to be able to construct a coherent, reasoned, logical argument - but sometimes seem so unwilling to demonstrate that ability themselves.

so there are no lawyers with facial hair

Not what I said. You asked people to provide example where dress codes in work places and clean shaven rules are enforced. I offered some. I said courts because so do some court environments.

But you also have to consider that people choose to enter an area of employment.

There is far less element of choice over education. And before anyone says HE that's not really the answer. Parents shouldn't be forced to HE their child so they can avoid working out what an extreme hairstyle is without guidance - when said hairstyle is probably one of the most common around ATM.

Ok, if the thread was about a child who'd gone into school sporting fuck and off shaved into either side of his head I'd be totally saying isolating them was reasonable.

But most of the threads re isolated pupils are about silly things such as wearing a pair of earrings or hair colouring that's natural but dyed or extreme haircuts that are open to interpretation.

I tell you what though, the inability of some judges to get pat appearance really does throw shade on the intellectual purity of the legal profession.

It's a basic cognition flaw to assume a person's body, appearance or dress clouds the operation of the brain, but too many judges can't do the basic brain management that prevents this ineffective emotional cloud. But presumably being posh get you our of being shit at thinking.. :)

I'm still none the wiser as to why this is "extreme" and why it warrants isolation - which is a way of depriving a child of their education.

Anyway, I've been asking my 15 year old DS about this and he says his school doesn't have a policy about hairstyles and no one gets isolated for any reason. Pupils who turn up not in uniform are sent home to get changed, and if they don't have/can't afford a uniform, then they are given one.

I'm in Scotland and I'm not sure that our schools include hairstyles in the uniform code - other than for obvious health and safety reasons - long hair tied back in some classes. A few years ago I lived next to a large secondary school and saw teenagers there will all colours and lengths of hair.

Thinking about it - the only style I would view as inappropriate would be the likes of having a swastika shaved into the head or as a pp has just suggested, Fuck Off! Although I can see the latter as being a very tempting option for anyone at the OP's son's school!

The only reasons I can think of for teachers to be concerned about a pupil's hair would be those related to welfare - a child with matted, dirty hair, for example.

year in and year out we get this, if its not well i bought my son/daughter these great shoes ok there not regulation but... or well my sons had this hairstyle since old school.. well there is a uniform code, and when your child is accepted at their school you have to obey there rules, It shouldnt matter if your hair is pink blue or sea green or your trainers are pink & purple but to the powers that be it does matter and you accept these rules when you accept your child is to be admitted there

@jakscrakers

Beyond "them's the rules" what actual reason could there be for isolating a child from the classroom because he has short hair? Who is harmed by the presence of a boy with a short back and sides?