AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

[brodyblake]

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

Schools need to set rules as way too many kids these days think they can do what they want. If they let one get away with it they will all want to do it.

You can have rules that aren't draconian and ridiculous and still maintain good standards and behaviour.

Believe it or not riots won't break out if you allow students some bodily autonomy to do what they wish with their own hair.

I do not make the rules, I just have a child that followed the rules, and year in and year out we have exeptions to the rule, because they think it doesnt mean them, they think there child is special and should be allowed this hairstyle or that, these trainers instead of black shoes to express there indivduality and it makes it to the media and they think they then become famous where as what they really come is a laughing stock.. express your individuality in dress out of school if needs be but at school, be a robot, wear the same, get on with it and the sooner your done and out of there and then ahhh then you really can express, but then again you might not get a job

jaks For many teenagers, their hair is actually a big part of expressing their individuality. They can't just express that when they're not in school if they want their hair long but school says it has to be short and vice versa. It's different to clothes that you can just take off when you get home from school.
If your school says that boys can't have long hair, you cannot grow it long for the weekend and then cut it off on Sunday evening.

Jakscrakers, you can't give a reason beyond "them's the rules" and they must be unquestioningly followed.

I've double-checked the Handbook for my DS's school and there is nothing about hairstyles. There is a school uniform, which is specified but not exacting - white shirt, grey trousers, black shoes etc. There is also a list of clothing which is not allowed and they give the reasons why. So no footwear which could damage the flooring, no football colours because that can be divisive and encourage factionalism, no dangling earrings or other jewellery which could get caught and is a health and safety risk, etc.

The Handbook also states "Under no circumstances will young people be deprived of any educational benefit as a result of not wearing clothing conforming to the school’s dress code policy."

The OP's son has been isolated from his classes because his hairstyle is deemed "extreme". That seems to me to be very clearly a child being deprived of educational benefit, and that is very wrong.

I agree with MsHooliesCardigan about uniform and hairstyle being two very different things. Clothes can be put on for the school day, and taken off at the end of it. Hairstyles can not. And what's more, I would say that to insist on particular hairstyles interferes with bodily autonomy, and that is bizarre and controlling.

What harm is caused, and to whom, by a boy having short hair?

Why should a child be deprived of their education because their hairstyle doesn't fit with some arbitrary standard set by the school?

Fucking ridiculous that it's even a rule. How is short hair extreme? How is a neat fade extreme? They should get rid of these stupid rules yesterday.

Very well put MrsHoolies.

Like I said above ds school have very high standards. But they don't have draconian rules.
Another nearby (extremely large) secondary have a more relaxed t shirt and polo style uniform but yet maintain standards.
The other is extremely strict with uniform .
Another is draconian and interestingly has the biggest issue locally with compliance despite using isolation like school dinners.
The other changed its uniform every year for 3 years until parents refused to buy anymore and sent pupils in whatever items from they already owned for them. Now they have standards.

Guess which school receives the best results at gcse?

Guess which ones always receive 10% at least over national average.

Guess which ones have both been given the most improved top 100 award.

Guess which one never had great results but getting worse results year on year?

I know my evidence is purely anecdotal but it shows that children who are clones of each other do not perform better than their counterparts.

How is short hair extreme

This baffles me.

As a teacher I have a dress code, many work places have a work code. To all of you rebels shouting "break the rules", brilliant, but do it after school please rather than making our job of teaching 30 different kids every hour harder by breaking the rules and wasting our time. All we want to do is teach them, not waste hours having to follow up on all the broken rules. It's not hard, get the little things in place and the big things crop up far less. Show support for the school you chose for your children and everyone will have a better experience. There is a long life ahead of them for whatever cut or colour they want. Personally I don't give a toss what your child looks like (as long as they look cared for) but I have to enforce school policy so why deliberately make my life harder. Join the pta or governors if you want to make a difference to these things.

when did we stop being kind and instead just say ok each to their own.
or if it really does have to be ruled like this.send a note home or tell him hes got so and so a time to change it or he has to be in isolation or home. this kids rocked up to school and has no choice no chance to fix it.and boom punished.

Or don't schools could stop trying to control things like what haircut the children have for 1200 odd hours of the year out of the 8300 odd that exist.

You have a dress code. Uniform is a dress code.
Are you dictated to that you can't have a certain hair colour or style and what would happen if you turned up to work like it?

Teachers jobs are made harder by policing uniform because their are too many exacting standards. This is as unfair on teachers as it is the pupils.

Sorry it autocorrect and that should say font

@FontSnob. I don't want your job to be made unnecessarily difficult - I would much rather you were able to focus on teaching - which is why I am questioning the need for arbitrary rules about hairstyles. Fewer rules to enforce, more time for teaching and learning, I would have thought.

As an enforcer of such rules, you must be able to answer the questions I keep asking. Why should a child be isolated because he has a short back and sides?

Who is harmed, and in what way, by a child having that particular hairstyle, or any other hairstyle?

Show support for the school you chose for your children and everyone will have a better experience.

Great. Absolutely.

But there's a quid pro quo here, which is the school being able to give a clear, evidence-based rationale for those rules and the associated sanctions, and to be open to evidence based, constructive challenge.

Most African/Afrocarribean boys in my sons school have 0-1 at sides and back and bit longer on top it's easier to maintain than a full on Afro.
Think it's difficult to police hair as it comes in different textures.
My sons hair looks neat and tidy and he combs it himself (primary school age)
If it was long all over he couldn't manage

Just read, our school's uniform policy mentions hair. Not an exacting rule, similar to the one in the op, as it is open to interpretation. However it also mentions they respect the hair customs of main stream religions and parents can apply to have concessions made. Added to this, is that punishments are made so as not to detrimentally affect the child's education and with regards to being sent home for adjustments, they contact parents to make sure they are home and take into consideration a child's vulnerability. Also they mention hardship funds.

These are the considerations, I think that make all the difference. The implementation of rules. The OP interpreted an unexacting written rule, differently to a teacher, and there can be no swift resolution. As the child's hair will not grow back overnight. The child's education is detrimentally effected, as he will have to remain in isolation for the duration. This is disproportionate. Other more obvious uniform infractions, which are less open to interpretation, so more a case of open rebellion, are more swiftly and easily rectified.

And it is silly to have exacting standards regarding how closely hair is clippered. As other posters have mentioned, type of hair effects the look and manageability of different lengths. If you have blond, fine hair, clippering hair very close can actually look bald compared to much darker hair. The hair could be the required length but not look it. An overly exacting rule does not take this into account.

This is ds school uniform bits about personal appearance.

Note that it makes reference to extreme hairstyles and references what they mean. It also allows for natural hair colours. There is not a ban on colouring hair which many schools have or ombré/bayliage etc which again happens locally in other schools. They just ask they don't dye it neon pink or something!
Earnings can be worn and can be free choice within a reasonable size.
No ban on make up - but it has to be natural.
Shoes can be free choice but no canvas/sling back or stilettos. Heels lower than 2 inches.
Hair can be styled as they want they just ask decoration is plain and simple and navy in keeping with inform.

I rarely see any pupil not adhere to this because there is scope within the standards to maintain some autonomy and individuality over their appearance.

Compare this to a local school that has limited shoe styles, choice of 2 skirts or trousers styles from particular supplier, no make up until year 10 and no jewellery. They have major problems because there is so many rules for the pupils to fight against to retain some form of personal autonomy over their bodies.

2 local schools allow converse leather lace ups as school shoes and 2 don't.
My friend has 2 girls in 2 different secondaries (due to them offering different things her children excel in). She bought them both the same shoes.
1 got isolated for day and was told detentions every night until replaced. The other laughed when she rang HOY in panic she'd have replace other daughters and asked why she'd think sturdy and practical leather lace ups would be a problem!

Font all work places have a dress code to some extent. I don't think my work place actually has a written dress code, it could best be summed up as common sense i.e. clothes should be clean, no ripped jeans, not showing masses of cleavage etc.
That's very different to specifying skirt length, colour of shoes, precise shade of grey trousers or saying that you have to buy your work clothes from a particular shop.

I would complain it's against human rights! The right to be an individual. The way a child chooses to express themselves aesthetically should not be a concern of any authority. They all wear a uniform, that is where it should end. Putting a child in isolation over this is completely unacceptable, madness.

Help me out here. Is this an English thing?

I'm a little older too. It looks like a haircut that could be described as "well-groomed" to me.

I tell you what though, the inability of some judges to get pat appearance really does throw shade on the intellectual purity of the legal profession.

Judges are not the only people in a court environment. Nor are lawyers. You have legal advisors, clerks, ushers and security guards who all have to abide by dress codes.

The OP's son has been isolated from his classes because his hairstyle is deemed "extreme". That seems to me to be very clearly a child being deprived of educational benefit, and that is very wrong.

They are still set work in isolation.

I would complain it's against human rights!

How so? Under what article would you bring an action?

They are still set work in isolation

Yes, but this child has just started at his Secondary. They are still learning the school routines and getting to know their peers. They will not benefit from cooperative work and practical work. Cooperative work and practical work which is marked. As I said before, this punishment is disproportionate, as it does not offer the swift resolution that would be available for more obvious and rebellious uniform infractions.

Seeingadistance

As an enforcer of such rules, you must be able to answer the questions I keep asking. Why should a child be isolated because he has a short back and sides? Who is harmed, and in what way, by a child having that particular hairstyle, or any other hairstyle?

You keep asking the same question and keep claiming nobody can answer it. But posters have. I have - very specifically, I may add. Why do you keep claiming it?

Seeingadistance: What colour is the sky?
Posters: Blue
Seeingadistance: Why does nobody answer me? What colour is the sky?
Posters: We've told you, blue.
Seeingadistance: The question I keep on asking and nobody will answer because none of you know is what colour is the sky?
Posters: We keep on telling you, look at our earlier answers.
Seeingadistance: I keep on asking, and nobody can answer, doesn't that just go to show they don't know, blah blah blah...
Posters: