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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be fuming that DS has been sent home because of his hair???

608 replies

brodyblake · 15/09/2017 16:10

DS had his haircut just before he started secondary school. In the uniform rules, it just saying no "extreme hairstyles" does not give any kind of description as to what those may be. Bugger me, he goes in with a perfect uniform, a nice smart haircut and is told it's a no!!! They have said that he is to be in isolation until it grows to an acceptable length Hmm they didn't say what would be classed as extreme!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
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limitedperiodonly · 16/09/2017 07:55

You know it's September when the papers are full of attention-seeking headteachers competing to see how many pupils they can send home on the first day.

JonSnowsWife · 16/09/2017 07:57

How are the headteachers the ones that are attention seeking? They're not the ones going to the papers Confused

CamperVamp · 16/09/2017 08:04

MissEliza: there has been a study which demonstrates that uniform has no effect on achievement yes. I can't remember who by.

FlowerPot1234 · 16/09/2017 08:12

MissEliza

They still placed him in isolation despite this being the first time he'd not met their standards. He was in year 10 so missed valuable learning.

What valuable learning did he miss?

CamperVamp · 16/09/2017 08:21

Ok, a v quick google ('study into the effect of school uniform' ) suggests that while one Oxford Brooke's study, funded by a school uniform company, found a positive effect , numerous U.S studies, one conducted over 8 years, have shown no positive effect. In one study students in uniform-free schools showed higher 'self perception' than others.

My neice goes to Camden Girls, a state comp , a non uniform school with very high results.

youarenotkiddingme · 16/09/2017 08:32

It always surprises me that fashionable haircuts get classed as extreme.

It's going to get to the point where schools dictate a style of haircut and everyone will need to wear that regardless of hair type and headshape (my ds has double crown so some styles don't work) alongside the dictating of one style of school skirt for girls regardless of their shape or size or height.

I'm actually beginning to feel sorry for pupils who face being made into clones as it benefits their education (apparently!) yet are being sent this this into schools who have had such dramatic funding cuts the level of education cannot meet the image they want to portray.

I feel most sorry for the teachers who have to police these inform standards whilst trying to meet raised job expectations and accept a pay freeze.

CecilyP · 16/09/2017 08:35

What valuable learning did he miss?

I doubt if the poster can provide specifics, but surely at least one Y10 teacher teaching GCSE subjects must have taught something useful that day! Or do you think otherwise?

limitedperiodonly · 16/09/2017 08:39

It's attention seeking and cynical to set up conflict over something as trivial as uniform in order to burnish your reputation as a new broom and hard nut.

Every September we see new heads doing this because it's very easy to make a splash by sending pupils home for uniform infringements when you know the parents of those children are going to be portrayed in an unsympathetic light.

I'd object in the OP's case but the papers wouldn't use me because I look boringly middle class and can make a cogent argument so it wouldn't fit the narrative.

It's a lot more difficult to make meaningful improvements to a school's performance. That's how we should judge the performance of a head - not the length of skirts or hair.

somewhereovertherain · 16/09/2017 08:45

Seems reasonable to me. Awful hair cut.

JonSnowsWife · 16/09/2017 08:46

Every September we see new heads doing this because it's very easy to make a splash by sending pupils home for uniform infringements when you know the parents of those children are going to be portrayed in an unsympathetic light.

The head who found themselves in the papers because of the Mum bemoaning her child wasn't allowed to go to school with bright red hair, was not new. They've been there quite a few years and has turned the reputation of the school from being an absolute shithole into somewhere parents want to send their children.

I'm sure the 'gestapo' regime as one parent once called it hasn't been the be all and end all of how they have turned the school around, but I'm sure their ability to take no shit has certainly helped. It started off in special measures and is now rated as good.

JonSnowsWife · 16/09/2017 08:49

Reading through the OPs comments. They said the hair started off short and then got more and more on the top. I'm guessing the more hair at the top means the side bits look shaved to the school which is why they object.

To the PP who asked earlier. No shaved heads generally aren't allowed in secondary schools.

limitedperiodonly · 16/09/2017 08:53

I've no idea of your case history. All I know is that a quick google of 'head sends pupils home' brings up loads of these stories and I regard those tactics as cheap and cynical.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/09/2017 08:58

I'm never quite sure why we are so keen to crush the free spirit of kids.

In what way is following a very popular haircut trend exercising "free spirit"?

ponderingprobably · 16/09/2017 09:09

Get him this? Until it grows

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod107011100010180308752555-1

At least it would stop the isolation... sorry, but does it really come to this, as a solution? How long would the isolation be for with 'too short' hair? What if there were a medical scalp problem?

MissEliza · 16/09/2017 09:09

Flower are you serious? First of all, the school had a meeting at the beginning of year 10 warning us attendance was crucial and quoted research showing the impact a few days absence could make on grades. So they clearly regarded every day as important. Secondly he missed a double science lesson and a maths lesson. It's pretty hard to study those subjects on your own. You will basically miss out on the input of that day. I'm a parent who has always sent mine in correct uniform and valued attendance. It was completely stupid to put ds in isolation for his first infringement ever. He'd got to year 10 without a problem. I know there were some who kept pushing it so you need to come down heavy but not ds.
There really are some ignorant and argumentative people on MN. It's very tiresome.

3EyedRaven · 16/09/2017 09:10

I don't see how jeggings would help him pondering
Although, it probably would distract the teachers from his hair Grin

ponderingprobably · 16/09/2017 09:11

Sorry link fail! Purple jeggings would get him to even more trouble!!!!

I meant this, duh!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/WIG-QUALITY-synthetic-youthful-GFW994-6/dp/B0073J9NHW/ref=sr113ssit?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1505549460&sr=1-3&keywords=men%27s+wigs

CecilyP · 16/09/2017 09:18

That might start a trend, pondering! Then next years rules would probably say, no wigs allowed.

ponderingprobably · 16/09/2017 09:20

They could' though. That would be a big problem for kids with alopecia.

ponderingprobably · 16/09/2017 09:20

Couldn't

FlowerPot1234 · 16/09/2017 09:22

MissEliza

There really are some ignorant and argumentative people on MN. It's very tiresome.

First, please don't be rude. I asked you a neutral, polite question. A neutral question is not "ignorant", and if anyone else disagrees with you that doesn't make them argumentative.

First of all, the school had a meeting at the beginning of year 10 warning us attendance was crucial and quoted research showing the impact a few days absence could make on grades. So they clearly regarded every day as important.

Your child was in isolation, he wasn't absent.

He missed a double science lesson and a maths lesson. It's pretty hard to study those subjects on your own.

Hard yes. That's why it's a punishment. If it was easy, it wouldn't be a punishment, would it? So he didn't miss any valuable learning, his learning experience was made harder through your decision to not have a back-up pair/not repair his trousers and ensure he attended school in the correct uniform.

It was completely stupid to put ds in isolation for his first infringement ever. I know there were some who kept pushing it so you need to come down heavy but not ds.

So you want preferential treatment for your child? I'd be interested to know what criteria you would expect teachers to use when they decide who has to abide by the rules, and who doesn't, using such incredible pupil-specific subjectivity.

FrankyStein · 16/09/2017 09:22

I'll never understand why parents can't just stick to the uniform guidelines. It's the same every year. Parents amazed that their little darlings aren't allowed dyed red head or a partial skin head

I hate the look of this skin fade thing anyway but that's besides the point. I just take my son to the hairdressers and ask them to cut it as short as possible but with scissors only. Gives a short cut without any of his scalp showing

I'd be mortified if one of my kids were excluded for this when it's so easy to not get wrong in the first place. You immediately mark your child out as 'trouble' so just accept the rules are there for a reason and adhere to them

ponderingprobably · 16/09/2017 09:23

I'll never understand why parents can't just stick to the uniform guidelines. It's the same every year. Parents amazed that their little darlings aren't allowed dyed red head or a partial

If the rules are not clear, as in the OP's case, I can easily see how this happens. Especially when starting a new school.

FrankyStein · 16/09/2017 09:31

Pondering - really though? I don't buy that. There's a little boy in my DS's class - they're 10 and in year 6 so still primary. He has both ears pierced and this skin fade cut. Of course he gets away with it in primary. I bet his parents will trot out the line they don't think it impedes learning

I dunno. I know the difference between suitable for school and not. And I just don't think part shaved heads are.