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Update - missed Grammar School application

685 replies

sososocross · 13/09/2017 11:45

So many people have kindly sent pm and a couple of update threads have been started so I wanted to update.

Firstly I really want to thank you all for your help and kindness. I was in a state and without you all I would have lost the plot. You women rule 🏅

Update: They are not letting him do the test and I have told DS. I made the choice to tell him in a vague way and simply stated that something had gone wrong and his application had not been received. I will not lie to him if he asks for more details at a later date, but I couldn't take away his chosen school and his image of his dad in one cruel swoop.

He cried and asked me to sort it out, and I told him I had tried and couldn't. I told him my alternate plans and he relaxed. I also told him I would be coming home early 2x per week from here on, and we would work together on homework, extra study or whatever he chose. If he wants to register for the 12 or 13 plus I will do all I can to assist him. Then we watched guardians of the galaxy and had big cuddle up on the sofa.

So that's where we are.

I am sorry to those I irritated by deleting the thread, I was very worried about the daily mail and any come back. I hope you understand I was having a crisis and listed inappropriate details which could identify my son on the thread.

Please don't mention school details on this thread as I'd rather it all remain anonymous for his sake.

Thanks again for all the kindness, it meant the world to me.

OP posts:
MissEliza · 19/09/2017 20:47

That's fantastic news. I'm so pleased for you all!

NoSquirrels · 19/09/2017 20:49

Oh how bloody wonderful- brilliant news.

Hope your DS does well and is pleased with his effort- and even if he doesn't get in, you've already faced that emotional trauma & made an awesome plan B. Great stuff.

I'm impressed your DH has taken the responsibility on, and by your obvious strength that comes through for both your marriage and your family. I wish you all the very best - counselling will no doubt help but for now, park all that a while and celebrate!

ourkidmolly · 19/09/2017 20:51

Delighted for you. The 11+ process is dreadful enough without all those hassles.

Regressionconfession · 19/09/2017 20:57

N

ChasedByBees · 19/09/2017 21:02

Great news!

Singap0reSling · 19/09/2017 21:04

Oh fantastic news. Fingers and toes and everything else crossed for your DS!

I'm stupidly so pleased for you (tis just t'internet forum after all...) and would consider that your DH has redeemed himself some what. Best of luck with everything.

Come back and share the good news when your DS has the grammar place he wants Flowers

CoconutLush · 19/09/2017 21:13

That's brilliant news! Good luck to your DS Flowers

sososocross · 19/09/2017 21:30

Another bonus is new nickname for DH. Twatbadger really suits him Grin

kaitlinktm · 19/09/2017 21:31

This is so wonderful. Sitting here full of a cold feeling sorry for myself and this has really cheered me up.

Pilgit · 19/09/2017 21:32

That is fantastic news! People fuck up - it's how they come back from it that counts. This hopefully shows your DH is turning a corner. He undoubtedly needs help though.

Your strength and fortitude is amazing. A true inspiration to your children.

neddle · 19/09/2017 21:39

So pleased for you both. I read your threads but didn't comment before.
I really hope that he does well and gets a place at the school after all you and he have gone through.

sososocross · 19/09/2017 21:40

The Twatbager is cooking steak topless in the kitchen and breakdancing whilst singing Craig David! Grin

ComputerUserNotTrained · 19/09/2017 21:40

Oh that's great news :)

sososocross · 19/09/2017 21:43

I'm so glad DS kept working! Would have been awful to lose a week if he had given up! I'm worrying about the test now but he's worked hard.

gingertigercat · 19/09/2017 21:45

This has actually brought a tear to my eye. So happy for you all, your ds sounds like a wonderful little boy

youhavetobekidding · 19/09/2017 21:45

*I think that if the OP's husband was taken into care, it is likely that a very high degree of parental neglect was involved. This might be about a household where children were not fed, kept safe, kept warm or clothed. A mother and father may have been dependent on alcohol or street drugs and/or involved in crime. The child may have regularly witnessed violence and or abuse. He may have himself been on the receiving end of abuse.

For that child as an adult to deliver an application form is a fail in terms of middle class aspirational parenting.

However, if he contributes towards feeding, clothing and caring his children from a stable long term relationship, if he does not swear at them or hit them or touch them inappropriately, but shows affection to them, by the standards of people who have experienced long term abuse, he is actually doing pretty bloody well.

This doesn't mean the poster's situation is an easy one. But in the same way, that you wouldn't tell a woman who'd been - for example - raped repeatedly as a child - that it was time to put that all that behind her and woman up, I don't think you can assume that a man who has been damaged as a boy, can always succeed in putting the past behind him.

Which is undoubtedly going to make life difficult and stressful for that man's partner at times.*

Totally agree with this.

llangennith · 19/09/2017 21:47

So pleased for you and your DS. Smile

sososocross · 19/09/2017 21:47

Youhavetobekidding yes I agree with that post entirely

NataliaOsipova · 19/09/2017 21:48

Brilliant! Quite right too. Best of luck to your DS.

TanginaBarrons · 19/09/2017 21:48

@sososocross what a nightmare time you have had. And how brilliantly you have handled it. Just popping in to say that Transactional Analysis therapy may suit you guys really well. Have a wee google.

thecatfromjapan · 19/09/2017 21:49

Good luck to your ds. Smile

eleflump · 19/09/2017 21:52

Been following this thread and was so hoping it would be good news when I saw it on the first page again!!!

Absolutely fantastic news for you and your DS - I hope he smashes the test!

annandale · 19/09/2017 21:55

Oh that's amazing. I'm so glad!

Sogrowjo · 19/09/2017 21:58

Absolutely brilliant!!

SeraphinaDombegh · 19/09/2017 22:02

Oh soso, that's properly amazing news! I'm SO pleased for you all but especially for your lovely DS. A fantastic answer to prayer and hopefully the first step along a new path for you all. Really made up for you Smile Flowers

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