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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a little bit frustrated at having given this away for free?

114 replies

Sangriasally86 · 12/09/2017 20:16

I think IABU but have to get it off my chest nonetheless...!

So basically I had a top of the range iPad Pro that I paid a lot of money for about 2 years ago (cost around £900). I've just had a baby and money is a bit tight, so MIL said she would buy my iPad Pro from me (she wanted one with more storage and a bigger screen anyway) and I would then buy a cheaper standard iPad with that money and would end up with about £200 in my pocket. MIL didn't have the cash at the time, so I said just pay me whenever she can, and in the meantime I went out and bought my cheaper iPad knowing that eventually MIL would pay me back the money for the iPad Pro.

Here's where it gets a bit tricky...MIL then suddenly passed away, which has been awful for everyone but particularly FIL and DH. I haven't mentioned anything about the iPad Pro even though I know it's only sitting on a shelf at FIL's house doing nothing ( I was going to leave it a couple of months and then see if I could have it back). Anyway, FIL has turned up at our house this evening with iPad Pro and said he wants to be able to read the magazines on it (I let MIL have access to my magazine subscription app). He obviously doesn't know that MIL hadn't yet given me the money for it, and if he did know he wouldn't want it because he's a bit tight and wouldnt want to pay what the iPad is worth (to be clear, I'd get about £550-£600 on eBay for it). I know DH wants FIL to have the iPad as it will give him something to do, and although I haven't mentioned the money to DH I think he'd want us to just give the iPad to FIL and forget about the money.

Do I just let this go? £500 is a lot of money at the moment to me, and it's painful for me to see FIL with my old iPad that I absolutely loved (and made a big dent in my credit card!) when he 1) doesn't know how valuable it actually is, and 2) that it's effectively just been given to him. Do I mention this to DH, even though I think I know what the answer will be? Feel like I'm being a heartless bitch by thinking about the money when he lost his wife and DH lost his mum only a month ago, but I hate the idea that I've just given something away that cost a lot of money. WWYD?

OP posts:
Fecho · 12/09/2017 20:18

I'm cringing a little. It's only been a month.

EamonnWright · 12/09/2017 20:18

The man has just lost his wife...

opheliacat · 12/09/2017 20:19

Cripes.

I think you will have to let it go.

Rainybo · 12/09/2017 20:19

I would let it go.

I understand you've lost out, but no one could have seen this coming.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 12/09/2017 20:20

I think you're right, though. I doubt he knows how expensive it is. He could buy 500 newspapers for that!

Ttbb · 12/09/2017 20:20

You can't be serious? His wife just died! If you couldn't afford it you shouldn't have bought it in the first place.

MrsJamesAspey · 12/09/2017 20:20

Could you not swap the iPads over? Tell him that your new one is better for what he needs it for and has better apps on it?

Humptydumptyisanumpty · 12/09/2017 20:20

Jesus christ, the man has just lost his wife and dh has lost his mother and all you and all you can think about is money you're owed. Let it go

ANiceSliceOfCake · 12/09/2017 20:21

Wow. I'm lost for words, please re read this back OP and see how terrible it sounds. You may not realise it.

Monoblock67 · 12/09/2017 20:21

As tough as it may be, I think you're going to just have to let this one go OP. Or maybe get your DH to mediate somehow. I know you don't mean it badly; and I get that it's a lot of money, but I think however you try and put this across will just come across as being insensitive right now.

Dawnedlightly · 12/09/2017 20:21

Sorry, you have to let it go. Can you swap it for the newer one? Can't think how you'd spin it though.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 12/09/2017 20:21

Feel like I'm being a heartless bitch by thinking about the money when he lost his wife and DH lost his mum only a month ago

Well if the cap fits!!!!!!

ShapelyBingoWing · 12/09/2017 20:22

I get that this could be frustrating but for the sake of not looking like a bastard, you need to look at this differently.

Someone who owed you £200 has died. Just swallow the loss.

MrTrebus · 12/09/2017 20:23

Oh my fucking goodness how ever heartless are you?! The woman DIED she was your MOTHER IN LAW. Sorry but I am totally disgusted at you and your attitude to even think about this any further once she died.

AfunaMbatata · 12/09/2017 20:23

Wtf is wrong with you?! Shock

Pastacube · 12/09/2017 20:24

Yes swap it

Cynara · 12/09/2017 20:26

Look. I see your point. In any other circumstances I'd be in your corner. In this instance however, your FIL has lost his wife and your DH has lost his mother. If you raise this issue with either of them now, they will never forget it. You really need to let this one go for the sake of your ongoing relationships with both of them. Just let forget it and move on; focus on supporting them.

TheUpsideDown · 12/09/2017 20:27

Swapping the iPads sounds like the most reasonable, and more sensitive option here.

Otherwise I'd say you should let it go.

isthistoonosy · 12/09/2017 20:27

As an aside why are skint on mat leave - yet you make ot sound like your husband knows nothing about this?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 12/09/2017 20:27

I think the thread title is a bit harsh. But understand you are pissed off.
Your fil obviously knew the money was owed as it was his wife. He probably isn't thinking straight though it's only been a month. I agree get oh to swap them no biggy and sell the pro on and take the hit for fil.

knowsmorethansnow · 12/09/2017 20:27

I think you need to let it go, but if you can't offer to swap your cheaper one for it ?

Troubleshootingforever · 12/09/2017 20:28

Let the poor man keep it for gods sake. Download as many puzzles, newspapers, crosswords as he wants. It's the least you can do. Have a bloody heart and do not crush your poor husbands soul by even mentioning it.

MistyMinge · 12/09/2017 20:28

Wow this isn't going to end well. Keep your mouth firmly shut and let this go.

As a previous poster said - read your post back.

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2017 20:28

Gosh. This is really rather unpleasant isn't it.. Ask your husband to pay you for it if you wish the money that badly.

mintbiscuit · 12/09/2017 20:28

Is this for real? Shock

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