To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

[RozDoyle]

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

• little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

• parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

• how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

The shoes thing fascinates me I'm from the Black Country - although I don't live there now - and I'd never come across this anywhere until I was an adult. This may have been because we had no fitted carpets (everyone that I knew had lino on the floor, with a few rugs) and so it would have been very cold in winter (we didn't have central heating until I was 18). A lot of people still had outside toilets too, so putting shoes on and off would have been a real nuisance.
It sounds like something out of Dickens, but it wasn't that long ago...!

I'm with you OP. Though I did see a boy (around 7 or 8) on the school run with long hair wearing tights with shorts with a pink fluffy rucksack. I thought he was a girl from behind, until he turned around when a boys name was called. It wasn't even just long hair, it was a girls haircut. I don't get it!

I definitely think 'chippy tea' and 'picky tea' must be regional things because I'd never heard anyone use those terms before joining MN! It's 'fish and chips' and in my house growing up, what's called 'picky tea' was what we had on a Saturday evening and was known as having 'bits'

I usually cook from scratch but it's fishfingers tonight pre-Tesco delivery.

@FruitCider maybe that child was a girl with a boy's name?

To all the posters who feel like teaching a child to swim is a chore, having them drown because they haven't been taught doesn't bear thinking about. Teach your kids to swim

It's not about thinking it's a chore, it's about the fact that my daughter has had years of lessons, in different settings and with different teachers and still can't swim. And people's answer is still 'teach your child to swim'.

I actually don't know all that many adults who are competent swimmers, so that's another factor, it's going to be hard for a lot of parents to teach their child to swim. I'm a very strong swimmer and I still wouldn't have a clue how to teach someone else.

Also, I'm not entirely convinced that swimming ability is directly related to likelihood of not drowning. A lot of people drown due to the shock of hitting cold water, or having been accidentally knocked unconscious. Or even through overestimating their ability.

I was a shit swimmer, I had loads of lessons aged 6 and then the school year of lessons aged 9. I completed half a length on our final "test" aged 9 and can still only just manage a length now. Some of us are just rubbish at it.

I wouldn't say being able to swim is not related to the likelihood of drowning. Yes you are correct but if you can't swim you will drown if you just fall in water.

@FruitCider maybe that child was a girl with a boy's name?

No, definitely is a boy, on second day said child was referred to "he" multiple times.

Yes you are correct but if you can't swim you will drown if you just fall in water

I understand that, and I agree. But the flip side of that is that people who know they can't swim usually go out of their way to avoid water, so the likelihood of just falling into some not too cold water would be reduced.

In my 6 years of being on MN, my biggest thing has been parents who have NT kids who have their kids in nappies past 2.5/3 year olds in day time. And the 6 year olds in pull ups at night. Pathetic.

Why is that pathetic? My 9 year old wears pull ups at night because she wets frequently, has no medical issues and gets very distressed at having to wake us to change her bed at 3am. I'd rather a happy child in pull-ups than a miserable, worried, distressed one. Pathetic indeed.

Both mine were dry easily by around 2.3 yrs, with no training needed. My 7 yr old still wears pull ups at night though, completely normal according to docs.

Why on earth is that your biggest thing? DS would only poo in a happy until he was almost five. I waited until he was ready, and he was fine. I know plenty of people in similar situations who caved in to pressure to have their child out of nappies which actually led to long term physical damage due to faecal impaction. Please don't put pressure on parents to toilet train a child who isn't ready.

And the 6 year olds in pull ups at night. Pathetic.

. One of mine was dry at night from 3yo, the other nearly 6yo.... ironically the 6yo. The lazy parent is actually you, not the one with the 6+yo in pull ups as you're ignorant to the fact that night dryness down to hormones.

For 'lazy' read 'pathetic'.

My ds was in pull ups until about 10; he's NT but wet the bed every night. Eventually he stopped. Should I have let him wet the bed every night ? Sometimes things are just not ideal and you have to cope as best you can.

And all my other 3 dcs had no problems. So Maddie how would you have handled that situation?

Pathetic my arse

All of this talk of shoes on or off in the house has reminded me of the time I took DS1 on a play date and was not only expected to take my shoes off, but also provided with the "guest" slippers to wear

stretchout&wait oh the horror of the guest slippers! Were they 'artisnal' by any chance? I was offered guest slippers by the owners of a house in Cumbria. I felt uncomfortable fof the entire duration of the visit. There was a big pile of them at the foot of the stairs.

Thanks for the judgement about kids in pull ups at night,my DS was 13 before he was reliably dry at night the GP, school nurse and the specialist enuresis nurse didn't seem to think it was pathetic just surprisingly common and we tried every suggestion they had to offer us. He used to live in fear of his friends finding out, maybe he should have been more afraid of their parents finding out if your attitude is typical. Maybe you don't know any kids in RL in this situation because no one would feel able to confide in you Maddie

it's about the fact that my daughter has had years of lessons, in different settings and with different teachers and still can't swim.

really?

Yes Greenbucket , really.

Why the face?

Some children just take ages to learn. I also think the way swimming is taught now is odd. I learnt age 6 in about 6 weeks-they focused on teaching proper strokes. Now the focus seems to be on being underwater..?! My kid can be under water no bother, he just can't float while propelling himself forward!
Not nice to imply treaclesoda is lying.