To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

[RozDoyle]

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

• little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

• parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

• how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

I've always understood cooking from scratch (which I think sounds daft anyway) to mean 'not ready meals/takeaways/jars' and that's why I said I cook from scratch. Although as others have said I'd really just call it 'making dinner'.

If it involves raising and butchering my own livestock, growing my own produce etc then I most definitely do not! I do sometimes make my own curry paste and bake my own bread. But I do that for fun, not because I consider it an important part of feeding my family.

I had roast chicken, mash, carrots and peas for dinner last night. Is that cooking from scratch or did I need to rear the chicken, kill it and pluck it myself and grow the veg in my garden?

My dd9 refuses to wear any clothes from the girls section of shops and will only wear boys clothes. She doesn't have one pink thing or any girls toys.

I work full time and study and have 5 children but still manage to cook a dinner every night. Don't have a cleaner or a gardener or dog walker.

Kids bring a sandwich, fruit and a yogurt for lunch every day.

Semi-scratch refers to using prepared short cuts in your cooking. The research says that people are more likely to embrace these short cuts if they don't duplicate things we could easily do ourselves. So frozen mashed potato is considered a bit of a cheat, but using a spice paste created from 13 obscure spices is thought to be OK and those people who feel guilty about "ready meals" will be happy enough to buy it.

I had roast chicken, mash, carrots and peas for dinner last night. Is that cooking from scratch or did I need to rear the chicken, kill it and pluck it myself and grow the veg in my garden?

No, that's "farming".

Honestly, who cares. Cook from scratch, semi scratch or frozen stuff. As long as everyone is fed with reasonably healthy food, that is fine.

I can't understand why everything seems to turn into a bun fight on MN, folk seem to come on spoiling for an argument. This doesn't happen offline.

I cook simply and most of the time from scratch because my DCs are highly suspicious of food, honestly you would think I am trying to poison them. Last night was butter pan fried chicken breasts, I sliced them in half and flattened them for speedy cooking, new potatoes boiled then in the pan with the chicken, with broccoli and carrots. Not amazing food but it took 15 mins and minimal effort.

Nigella has a book of speedy and easy recipes which I love, griddled chops with butter bean mash is a favourite.

And clothes, my DS would stay in PJs if I didn't coerce him into his school uniform (trousers) every day. DD changes about 4 times a day, with a variety of looks ranging from Marie Antoinette costumes to Ninja.

I have recently been told that some people with anxiety need to fill their minds with interesting stuff they enjoy. So boredom was a contributor which is definitely the case for me. I am busy (relatively as now retired) - house, garden, some voluntary work dabble in hobbies but my brain is desperate for something interesting to chew on. It was a light bulb moment for me. I am adjusting my life to make room for brain using stuff. Obviously this is not for those seriously ill with the problem.
Too much headspace was giving room for ruminating over negative events and changing this also helped me blank out annoying (to me) day to day issues with family.
I had stresses in childhood which might have made me more susceptible to anxiety than usual.

I will always be grateful to MN for teaching me about Zoflora...

Oo ... interesting thread.

Mumsnet is different to real life both positively and negatively.

I love how most seem to be highly educated, thoughtful, kind and responsible people. The wisdom shown on here sometimes is outstanding. That's something I struggle to find in real life. I also like to hear about people's far-flung travels and very important jobs involving the EU, Brussels and Courts of Law.

I'm only on the fringes of groups who batch cook, knit, forage, call their children names like Noah and Leaf.

I suspect it's a social class thing.

I live in the Midlands and I'm from a fairly ordinary family. Parents had a three-bed semi, I went to Catholic school then college and straight into work. No University for us back in the 1980s. I suspect if I'd grown up in Switzerland or my parents lived in Surrey, it'd be a different story altogether.

Does anyone remember the poster who owned an Island? Was it Xenia? She had a £250,000 a year job too.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes some Mumsnetters think it's beyond the pale to have one. They think it's disgusting. Instead, you should leave any mess and then, when opportunity arrises, grab your rubber gloves and scourer and clean it by hand or if you're a visitor, get your hands in and scrub with loo roll instead. I'm not sure which is worse!

Everyone on mumsnet seems to have a son who dressed up as a princess. In real life, I've never known a boy who does that.

I'm surprised too that any posters on here are in relationships or have any contact with any relatives...the number of times people will recommend ltb or go nc, for the most minor of things.

MN seems to be full of hygiene obsessives... who have to shower twice a day, wash all their clothes each day, not just underwear (fair enough) including outer garments like jumpers, and who won't put their children into pyjamas after swimming because they have to walk outside to the car and be made to sleep in clothes that have been subjected to the 'fumes' in the air (the same air they happily breathe).

I live in a very mixed area IRL but the neighbouring area is very posh and it is a stark difference. Whereas in my local playground you would see parents smoking, even drinking beer in the summer and kids drinking fruitshoots in the posh playground it does look different, much more white, kids/boys have long hair and bright clothes, picnics are full on baskets and prosecco or whatever is consider the right drink at the moment, is it cava? Even the dogs are different, more staffy type dogs in my area and lurchers, viszlas and *poos in the other

So MN for me just sort of mirror my real life, I see many walks of life in my line of work as well so the contrasts are there.

Single and fabulous thank you. Never realised about people thinking toilet brushes were unhygienic. Each to their own. Personally I find them useful. Only put the gloves on and scrub a couple of times a year. Use the toilet brush most days. Can't believe it's something that could cause an argument 😱

Formerbabe they may not tell you! My ds loved dressing up as a princess. He doesn't do it now because if peer pressure. The same reason I might not tell you, as I'd sense you would disapprove.

But Fizz I do have a sexy Scottish husband.

I think the reason Scots stand out on MN is that so often we have to preface a post "I'm Scottish" to explain why:

Our DC are on holiday already/no longer on holiday
Our DC don't sit SATs or have to apply for high school places.
Our primary school goes from P1-P7 and most kids start aged 5 yo
Our house selling system is different.
Our legal system is different (inheritance and divorce etc)
Or that fact that Halloween is not a fucking American import.

Also as a pp said "we like a blether".

BenLui you big old show off

It's not the toilet brush, but the little bucket of grim poo water that it sits in. Gives me the boak.

Fizzy . He looks awesome in a kilt too...

Arseholes and arseholeness behaviour.

I haven't seen it lately, but the number of excuses wheeled out when someone posted an AIBU because another person displayed arsehole like behaviour...

They have issues that need to be dealt with understanding and compassion
Perhaps they were having a bad day
You don't know what's going on in their life
I'm sure they weren't that bad, you sound like you are projecting
Perhaps they don't cope well with XYZ
Did you stop to think it's not them, it's you

Which descended into

Yeah OP it's you
You don't sound very nice actually
You could be more understanding
Actually I'm more on their side than yours

Now I'm not saying none of those are valid enough points. And AIBU is tough. But the number of people who would pile in falling over themselves to show how right on and saintly they were when faced with a nasty twat was daft.

I longed to rise above the parapet and say "actually, perhaps they're just an arsehole? Maybe? Hmmm?" However I didn't fancy being handed my neck on a platter so I left It!

I've also just thought of another from a recent thread. I don't think credit cards are the work of the devil, sorry. I put lots of things on interest free ones and pay them off early or on time. I built up a great credit rating that way and don't see why it's so frowned upon if used sensibly.

I'm with you re the boys in dresses, never come across that in RL, could just be where i live.
We do cook from scratch every night except Friday which is treat night, we also do batch cook occasionally at weekends, just stuff like curry/chill/bolognese/stews for us, for baby we do things like fish curry/tomato and chicken pasta, cous cous and roasted veg, portion it up and freeze it for weekends (she's nursery Mon-Fri)
I'm also with you on the LTB comments, can be a very popular one!

I cook from scratch daily! I work part time so I'd probably not if I did full time. Although a spag bol takes 20 minutes for me.

Gender neutral I dont get. Maybe I'm lazy but I've no time nor energy to fight Over clothing and quite frankly am amazed my dc are dressed let alone arguing over if the one with a Penis wanted to wear a dress.
I basically have no opinion.

I do have a chuckle at some people who are vehemently against pink and blue for either sex. Maybe I'm just jealous that I don't have the energy to be worrying.

good for you Henrythehoover

The other planet to me is those for whom a baby just slots into normal life. Holidays, hobbies, sex lives carry on as before because it's only a baby.

Not in my world. Bomb gone off, everything exploded, nothing the same ever again.

YANBU. I come from your world. I find parenting very different here too. No one I know IRL breast feeds until toddlerhood, waits until 6 months to wean, uses cloth nappies or carries a baby around in a sling and calls it babywearing. Not that there is anything wrong with doing those things. I just don't know anyone IRL who actually does them.