To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

[RozDoyle]

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

• little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

• parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

• how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

15 mins may have been a slight exaggeration but the point is, I can't cook a healthy nutritious meal from scratch, then feed, bath and pyjama two preschoolers in an hour. It does not compute.

But this is exactly why people batch cook when they have more time. With a food processor to chop the onions, celery, peppers and garlic, it take me about 14 minutes maximum to get a huge pot of something like bolognaise in the oven.

I am constantly amazed by how Scottish everyone is.

It is because we like a blether.

Honestly, if you asked any of my friends if they knew anyone who cooked from scratch each night that worked they would say no. That's because I don't go on about the fact I do like it's something to feel big and clever about. I just copied the same stuff my mum used to do as I was brought up in the late 70's and 80's when there wasn't so much convenience food. It's nothing special and doesn't take long if it's just something you've always done.

Equally, on occasions, I bung my daughter in blue clothes and dungarees that look at bit boyish because I had some hand me downs from a boy and they fit. When I take her to toddler group everybody is getting on with playing with their own kids and nobody gives a shiny shit what my kid is doing.

Point is, there are probably loads of people you know who do stuff you read on mumsnet but only the self indulgent arseholes go on about it in real life, banging on about their choices in order to draw attention to themselves and how amazing they are. When really, they're not.

I think it's a media thing as well BitOutof Practice. My mum and dad (DM readers, early 80s) are convinced NO-ONE cooks EVER nowadays because there are so many ready meals available. They are equally convinced this is the reason why young people can't afford to buy a house, because they are spending all their money on these expensive ready meals instead of cooking like they do.
I cook every night, but I am genuinely amazed when I go to Iceland for something and how high people's trollies are piled with ready meals for a relatively small amount of money . I genuinely think eating ready meals can be cheaper than cooking from scratch, although M&D are having none of it!

Isn't cooking from scratch just..cooking?

I'm Scottish through and through EastMidsMummy - can't help it

I'll bet my bottom dollar that 'cooking from scratch' at the end of a busy day rarely means tradional British meals involving peeling and chopping potatoes, boiling, and then mashing them like we used to have to do years ago when all meals were cooked 'from scratch' No freezer to enable batch cooking either. I don't really count tipping a bag of stir fry veg and a tray of chicken pieces into a wok 'cooking' but I do it too

I agree with you OP but it's so interesting to read about other people's lives - and very humbling in some cases.

In real ife I don't generally have to qualify a question with a long drawn out explanation. Here everyone has to qualify everything before they start their post in an attempt to appease the sanctimonious judgers that are just sitting waiting to pounce
So a post enquiring as to the best brand of chicken nuggets will need a 3 paragraph disclaimer on how you all eat a well balanced healthy diet with no sugar, flour, eggs , crap and this chicken nuggets is a an annual 'treat'for the kids. I think, why bother they will flame you anyway.

Or a question about an ipad will need you to explain in intricate detail that the children are only allowed to have 5 minutes screen time a month and then it's just kids Ted talks.

Haterz gonna hate as they say so I don't know why people bother trying to appease them.

Agree with you Streetface. It shows a certain degree of self-obsession to constantly ram your views down others' throats.

Interesting thread - I agree to a certain degree with the op.

I was also raised in a cook from scratch every day household. When I was younger and more budget conscious I used to have weeks when I'd either cook from scratch everyday and/or batch cook every weekend. 20 years older I'm very lazy and will quite happily eat a couple of packets of oatcakes, with a bit of cheese and a cup of tea for my evening meal.

I went out for dinner on Saturday night with four friends my age and my friends 25 year old daughter. The 25 year old announced that she cooks from scratch every night for her DP, we all in true MN fashion clutched our pearls in horror and proceeded to tell her why she must cease this behaviour immediately. Reasons including her spoiling him, creating a rod for her own back, what will happen when they have babies or if she's sick etc etc. She dismissed us and told us to be quiet, we all laughed and realised we've got issues relating to men & cooking regarding their entitlement and lack of appreciation. It wasn't serious and all tongue in cheek.

I think lots of MNetter's are excellent creative writers and 50% of posts are tongue in cheek. You probably have met most of the personalities IRL through work/study/kids school without realising it.

I'm in my early thirties and cook from scratch every night - I'm a SAHP now but did it when I was working too. I have a 4yo and a 1yo - they have a snack at 4.30ish, eat dinner with us at about 6.45/7 and then go to bed at 8-8.30. I think that some of it was my upbringing - DM was an older mum, post war, and very good at making her money go a long way. For her, ready meals etc were just unbelievably profligate and wasteful. She also taught me how to cook so it really isn't difficult to just chuck something in the oven/on the hob. I actually had to train myself out of that mindset when we had a newborn and I just didn't have the energy!

I completely get what PPs were saying about MN being a bit feast or famine - either people have £5 for the next month, or three children boarding and a second home on the Italian lakes. It's all interesting though. And I've found out that according to a goodly proportion of MNers, we're absolute mingers as we share towels and replace them with fresh ones when I remember rather than every time they get used. So that's quite useful.

Oh, and the MAIN reason I started posting was to say - I consider cooking from scratch to be anything which doesn't involve special machinery. So I wouldn't use a jar of ready made sauce, but equally I'm not making my own sausages!

I'm a feminist and couldn't give a shit about the gender neutral clothing or shoes. Just buy the boy's stuff if it bothers you!

Totally agree OP. Loads of weird shit on here. Lots of angry people

I agree @StevieNicksMirage that's there seems to be a huge range of what making tea cooking from scratch consists of. I made up a "Spanish chicken" recipe last night. Fried off some chicken, chorizo, onion, peppers and olives. Added a couple of tins of tomatoes, a shitload of paprika, garlic and random herbs and spices and left it to simmer. It probably took 15 minutes actual prep. I served it with frozen patatas bravas and bought flatbread. I could've easily made the flatbreads and potatoes, but I was too lazy. Does that count as from scratch or ready meal? Who knows or cares?

I do consider I cook from scratch because I don't use jars or buy frozen dinners, but many people would say I don't cook from scratch as I use tinned tomatoes and spice blends and stock cubes. I make naan bread but I buy pitta bread. I use dry pasta but make the sauce and the garlic bread. Meh, I like cooking and they eat what I cook, so it's all good!

So many MN folk have cleaners (or so it seems). DP and I both work, one teen DD and are comfortably off (joint income just under 60K but that to me personally is quite comfortably off). It's never crossed my mind to get a cleaner and I don't know anyone in a pretty wide circle of friends and colleagues who have one (unless they're keeping it very quiet which I suppose they might in fairness).
People on here often suggest get a cleaner when the housework gets a bit much. Surely that's not realistic for many people.

Kind of with you OP.

However, we cook. I cannot believe the price of rady made meals or even things like sauces in jars. Honestly, we could not afford to eat like that.

We buy about a million tins of tomatoes and jars of olives from Aldi every now and again, and I typically spend about 15 mins chopping/frying garlic, adding a couple of tins of cheap toms and some olives, then perhaps chopping a courgette and/or mushrooms and adding grim looking oregano from the garden or some mixed herbs and some red wine vinegar. Yes I have time to do that even when absolutely frantic and it only needs 15 mins to cook down. It is habit more than anything else in many ways. But also money!

Lol at everyone being Scottish.

It's just so MNers can fib about having sexy Scottish husbands.

Wombling, I know, same here

The MN cooking from scratch declarations are often a kind of virtual medal posters hand themselves for making more effort than is strictly required

but many people would say I don't cook from scratch as I use tinned tomatoes

If tinned tomatoes don't count then everything I thought I knew about scratch cookery has been undermined.

BitoutofPractice - please give me your definition of cooking from scratch as I'm becoming obsessed

I am constantly amazed by how Scottish everyone is

Here's a bombshell for you: the new thing in food businesses is called... semi-scratch.

I have also heard the term 'part prepared' East. But please share your definition of semi-scratch.

Semi-scratch = scrambled egg on toast
Chicken has supplied egg - I scramble it
Sainsbury's has supplied bread - I toast it

My (Scottish) mother had to make 3 cooked meals from scratch every day. As well as baking and making jam, chutney and marmalade. I decided not to copy her. And she hated every minute of it.

Back to the Scottish thing. I'm just imagining us Scots as tiny wee CU Jimmies popping up all over the place like a plague of locusts. Splat! another one gone dealt with.