To not go on a date with someone who works in a shop

[therealbridgetjones]

A friend of mine is trying to set me up with a friend of hers. I don't know much about him other than he is my age and works in a shop. He lives at home with his parents (early thirties).

I'm in my late twenties. I'm intelligent, have a career, earn above average and have my own house. I've lived away from my parents for about ten years and am completely independent.

I've worked in retail and to be honest it made me work bloody hard at university because I didn't want to end up back there!

My friend seems shocked and calls me snobby because I don't want to go on a date with her friend. She thinks I'm a gold digger but this couldn't be further from the truth! Her argument is that it's about the person and not their ambitions etc but surely this is a part of a person? I'm attracted to intelligence, ambition and independence.

So AIBU to not consider a date with this person?

Mrs, why are you angry with Bluntness?

Well I made the exact same point as well Mrs, so why aren't you talking about my sandy vagina? I feel left out.

"Today 11:51 Bluntness100

I don't want to live my life scrabbling for money and dealing with the stress

Agree. I've been there too as a child and it's all very noble and romantic until you need a new boiler, or the car repair bill comes in and your husbands sitting on the sofa scratching his arse cause he's done his 16 hours down Tesco s."

My late mum used to joke I should marry for money not love, she struggled her entire life and died before I became successful which saddens me as I'd have loved to have helped take care of her (I know I have a bit more than I need so I put money aside for my loved ones if they need it, I'm saving up so I can give my best friend (who's terminally ill)'s son money for driving lessons in a few years when he's old enough.

But she had a point. We need money to live. I'm doing okay and don't want to be with someone who's gonna drag me backward. It's not snobbery like people here seem to think, just realism. I'd be perfectly happy with someone who didn't have a degree and worked a trade as long as they were self sufficient and earned enough to live on. No amount of love makes up for the stress of not being able to feed or clothe your kids.

lol I have 2 degrees before the age of 25 and I'm sat at home unemployed rn ... he's doing better than me.

Or a part-time layabout.

Oh fuck off. Working part time doesn't mean you're a layabout.

Doesn't mean you aren't. You don't know he isn't a layabout, do you?

TheNaze, because I wrote a post saying my partner earns minimum and I earn above average and she quoted my post saying I have no respect for other OPs choices and said I was arrogant. Just looking for an argument really.

@GurlwiththeCurl hello there! I loved what you said in your comment and your son seems lovely. However... your son is definitely not the norm, but rather an exception. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong for your son to live with you, but many people had their own homes and a career before 30. And that's okay, we all live our lives in our own ways and paces.

I, for example, am impacted in my opinion by my ex. I am 25, started building my career at 23, now I earn quite a lot and have my own home without a mortgage (I have indeed been helped by my parents and grandparents with a lump sum). My ex... he dropped uni, worked in retail, no perspective whatsoever and earned minimum wage.

What I am trying to say is I personally think it's ideal when both sides have similar background, income etc. Just my point of view, don't shoot

What's wrong with working in a shop?

The man who works in our corner shop, happens to be the owner, shit rich and owns several throughout the UK.

If you don't want to go in a date then say so but I wouldn't say your real reason why.

JonSnowsWife he probably doesn't live at home with his mum then...

The man who works in our corner shop, happens to be the owner, shit rich and owns several throughout the UK

wtf has that got to do with the price of fish? Do you think this dude working part time and living with his mother is a millionaire owner of a chain of shops?

so why aren't you talking about my sandy vagina

I just checked and mines sand free,

No amount of love makes up for the stress of not being able to feed or clothe your kids

Agree, the stress of unrelenting poverty cannot be under estimated and it can kill the best of relationships. This man is earning well below the bread line and needs his parents to financially support him. If a woman is happy to take their place and support him instead, then more power to her, but all women should not be expected to make the same choices.

wtf has that got to do with the price of fish? Do you think this dude working part time and living with his mother is a millionaire owner of a chain of shops?

Working in a shop has everything to do with the price of fish!

The OP will be DEVASTATED if it is him. They could have been so happy.

wtf has that got to do with the price of fish? Do you think this dude working part time and living with his mother is a millionaire owner of a chain of shops?

Quite a lot actually Would she have turned the date down if he worked in the City?

Sorry. I forgot we must judge all our dates by how much money they bring in.

How 21st century.

Would she have turned the date down if he worked in the City

Depends is he working part time in the city, and with his mum?

Er no, we must not ALL, but people can if they want to.

Can you not tell the difference between everyone must do X and you can do X if you like, no-one elses business if you do?

I despair at women who don't judge their potential dates actually, have you no standards at all?

I was about to suggest that OP's friend would have mentioned if he works part time because he's a millionaire/ still lives with his parents because they own The Ritz and all live there, but presumably he's The Secret Millionaire and OP's friend can't tell her because of the television contract?

Why do people find the idea that a woman doesn't want to go out with a man in his 30s who's never left home and works part-time so upsetting?

Why do people find the idea that a woman doesn't want to go out with a man in his 30s who's never left home and works part-time so upsetting?

For a couple of them it appears to be that the love of their lives was a part timer/unemployed 30+ dude living with his mother, and they are horrified that we wouldn't all like to be them.
Other's appear to just have gritty genitals.

Ball I missed your post. I'm reading Mumsnet whilst a man services my alarm system.

No he didn't live with his mummy until his 30s we are 28 for a start and we have a mortgage together. We BOTH lived with our mummies when we met.

Then why are you comparing your man to this fella then?

If he was working part time in the city and still living with his mum that would be even more of a turn off

Enough money to live independently but unable to cut mummy's apron strings? Eugh no!

Other's appear to just have gritty genitals