To think this is not an edible meal

[Lockheart]

I'm studying for some critical exams. My bf very kindly offered to cook for me - pasta with pesto, lovely. Have barely eaten all day as I've been in the library, so was ravenous.

Into this 'pasta with pesto' went 2 day old peas and chips, half a pot of tahini, some raw peanuts, an unripe avocado, and finally some actual pesto.

When I saw him about to tip the chips in (I was studying at the kitchen table but by this point was watching with horror) I said "Oh no, please don't put those in" and he got quite huffy about it, because he was making me dinner and I was sitting there and criticising (I'd also pointed out that the avocado was not ripe).

The peas would have been fine had they not been hard, the chips were burnt, I don't like tahini, and whilst I can understand peanuts in a noodle dish, I would not serve them up with pesto (just my preference).

He also served it with a side salad - just not cricket

I accept he was making me dinner and it was a lovely thing to do, but AIBU to think this is not good cooking? Pasta with just pesto is so simple and would have been more than fine.

This is a man who, upon being told I'd like to cook Mexican one evening (id been dreaming about fajitas all day), took the whole thing over; he insisted on buying veal mine (it was more than the beef mince, but it was reduced!), then put mushrooms, cashew nuts, and sultanas in with the meat. And then, to add insult to injury, tipped my pan of refried beans into the whole thing. I could do nothing but watch as my lovely and much dreamed of Mexican literally went down the pan

I love the bloke and I appreciate that he cooks for me, but how can I get him to stop cooking like a student and actually cook me something edible? He's 33, for reference...

Did you take a photo by any chance? I really want to see this monstrosity in all its glory.

I just cannot understand the "at least he's trying" "ah bless" type comments,

He's 33, ffs!!!!!

Oh dear OP . No advice apart from be honest about your thoughts.
And "making a potion" gave me my first laugh out loud moment of the week. Thank you saucyjack

I agree. "At least he's trying." - he's not 7 ffs. He's not trying, he's making a bloody mess and expecting praise for it. He's in his thirties!

No one would say "at least she's trying" about a 33 yr old woman who dished that crap up.

And why is it funny?

I think his use of half a pot of tahini in this mess has been under emphasised so far!

I really don't understand how anyone can reach the age of over 6 33, and think this is an acceptable offering as a meal. Is he odd in other ways too?

I'd have been outraged really upset to be given it, especially after a hard day's graft!

My ex used to cook like this on the ' 'occasions' he used to cook. It used to be cute. But in my case he morphed into an emotionally abusive sort who: a) expected me to achieve Michelin stars or something in the kitchen (just like mama).
b) served wierd concoctions of shite and get cross if you didn't fancy banana and spinach combinations. His only redemption was he did eat the shite he prepared. He just lacked the empathy to compute that others have different tastes, likes, opinions,wants, etc.

I will happily eat cold chip shop chips from their paper the next day - but even so this sounds absolutely rank.

Not much of an excuse at 18, zero excuse at 33.

Another vote for Jamies ministry of food

The amount of stereotyping in this thread is ridiculous.

Yes the meal he cooked was grim, but he obviously thought it would be acceptable. As he lives alone, he is presumably quite happy to eat like this. He's 33, not 5. I'm sure he manages to cook and eat most nights, again because he lives alone!

Why do some women on MN always think that they are the only people who can decide what is the best way of doing something? If the OP didn't want to eat it that's her choice. If he wanted to cook and serve it, that's his choice.

He cooks the wrong meal, he's wrong. If he hadn't cooked he'd be wrong. If he'd cooked for himself and not the OP he'd be wrong. How about they both cook what they like separately, then everyone would be happy 🙄.

"If we were at my house they would be in the compost."

I don't think you are meant to put cooked food into the compost.

I don't agree with you Wombling. I can't understand how anyone can get to the age of 33 - male or female, without being able to put an edible meal together. He is 33, not a student, and not illiterate.

This reminds me of a thread about a bloke who cooked a chicken and then left it (in summer heat) in the oven and forgot about it. He was quite insistent that it'd be fine a day later and ate it. He was also most put out that the OP didn't want her, or their kids, to eat it. I'm pretty sure the bloke ended up with dodgy guts.

Wombling, if he'd just cooked the pasta and then stirred in some pesto it would have been fine. And I get the distinct impression that if the OP hadn't eaten the offering he would have gone off in a childish sulk over it. This isn't a man/woman thing. This is a bloke who has no tastebuds and can't take the slightest criticism.

Ha! This reminds me of dh. The first meal he ever cooked for me was a veggie 'stew' that involved tinned potatoes, sweetcorn and tomatoes all heated up together.

I flat out refused to eat it.

We're 17 years down the line now, he's improved marginally but fundamentally just has odd tastebuds. eg, his 'tuna salad' the other day was tuna mayo with an entire, chopped raw onion. Nothing else, just tuna and onion.

That sounds completely vile and inedible! I'm the least fussy person ever but there is no way I could eat that! And your poor Mexican.

I think you need to be completely honest with him. Tell him you won't eat any more 'experiments' and if he wants to cook he needs to use the cookbook!!

Reminds me a bit of an old housemate I had. She liked cooking but thought she was really creative and would put really weird things together, never follow recipes or adapt them but didn't really understand flavours. I actually didn't have the heart to tell her as she was always very proud of her creations but think I tried to avoid the house or cook my own before she could offer me some of hers!

I think you're missing the point a bit, Wombling.

Yes, he cooked a meal. Yes, not everyone's tastes are similar. Yes, not everyone is a brilliant cook.

But he got huffy when asked not to put left over chips and a tub of tahini in pasta with pesto. Hardly differing tastes.

I do agree that there is a lot of stereotyping on here. All the "Typical man- bless him" stuff. It does infuriate me when men are presented as extra children, constitutionally unable to care for their families. Partly because it's not fair to the many men who can. Partly because it lets men who can't/ won't off the hook. And partly because i hate seeing women putting up with this crap. That's why I don't find this thread funny, humourless feminist that I am.

Mil makes stew with tinned mixed veg.

I've never eaten at hers.

YANBU and I sympathise. When I first started dating DH, he sweetly cooked me breakfast one morning. Less sweet was the teaspoon of cinnamon that he sprinkled into the pan of scrambled eggs... His other speciality was mashed potato with angostura bitters stirred through it.

I do the cooking at home these days...

I wanted to point out the 'no cooked food' in the compost thing earlier too. We have a compost heap as well but chips go in the bin. It attracts vermin x

Round our way we're not allowed to put any food in the black bins or they won't be collected - all food waste (cooked or not), tea bags, egg shells, coffee grounds etc goes in the brown compost caddy which is collected weekly.

I am a terrible cook, but have never ever made anything as terrible as what you bf made, OP. YANBU.

Serious question: is he American, by any chance? Because I have learned of an American thing called "hot dish", which is basically an oven bake full of weird things like frozen mashed potato croquettes, noodles, canned soup, etc. It's allegedly delicious when made right (though I can't imagine how) and it may have led your bf to believe he can recreate it out of scraps for you.

Does he not have tastebuds? My husband does weird things too (garlic in omlets for example) but what you are describing is just incomprehensible to me. How does anything think to themselves 'oh, I'll just add some CHIPS to my PASTA'?!!!!

I feel your pain - and if it weren't for his age, I would be round to see if my dh is two timing me. This is him to a T. And the more cookbooks I buy him, the more 'adventurous' he becomes.

My 8 and 11 year old sons would be able to make a better meal than the OH's partner. They'd certainly be able to do pasta with pesto! I am afraid I think it's pretty disgraceful that a grown man can think that concoction is an acceptable meal. There's not having a flair for cooking and then there's serving up swill because you can't be arsed.

he was "man" cooking, my husband would do this ( but only for himself as i freak out at weird shit in my food) he will tip all sorts of weird shit in a pan then crack an egg on top and kind of stir it in sort of, his latest one is adding salsa dip or tomato humus into everything.... guys can be odd,

i think they think oh i like pasta, i like pesto, i like peas, chips etc and don't give a second thought if it is actually nice together

ArcheryAnnie it can be a uk thing too
we had a couple of friends who had just moved to NZ to live, one day the hubby was telling us his wife needs to work in the kitchen at our workplace as she is an awesome cook and told us about the meal she made the night before... it was 5 star! he said... she layered baked beans in a casserole dish, topped it with chicken nuggets that she had removed the coating on and then topped that with instant mashed potatoes and cheese... he didn't understand our silence at the thought of having to eat that different strokes for different folks i guess