To think this is not an edible meal

[Lockheart]

I'm studying for some critical exams. My bf very kindly offered to cook for me - pasta with pesto, lovely. Have barely eaten all day as I've been in the library, so was ravenous.

Into this 'pasta with pesto' went 2 day old peas and chips, half a pot of tahini, some raw peanuts, an unripe avocado, and finally some actual pesto.

When I saw him about to tip the chips in (I was studying at the kitchen table but by this point was watching with horror) I said "Oh no, please don't put those in" and he got quite huffy about it, because he was making me dinner and I was sitting there and criticising (I'd also pointed out that the avocado was not ripe).

The peas would have been fine had they not been hard, the chips were burnt, I don't like tahini, and whilst I can understand peanuts in a noodle dish, I would not serve them up with pesto (just my preference).

He also served it with a side salad - just not cricket

I accept he was making me dinner and it was a lovely thing to do, but AIBU to think this is not good cooking? Pasta with just pesto is so simple and would have been more than fine.

This is a man who, upon being told I'd like to cook Mexican one evening (id been dreaming about fajitas all day), took the whole thing over; he insisted on buying veal mine (it was more than the beef mince, but it was reduced!), then put mushrooms, cashew nuts, and sultanas in with the meat. And then, to add insult to injury, tipped my pan of refried beans into the whole thing. I could do nothing but watch as my lovely and much dreamed of Mexican literally went down the pan

I love the bloke and I appreciate that he cooks for me, but how can I get him to stop cooking like a student and actually cook me something edible? He's 33, for reference...

bombay mix soup was not nice.

Reminds me of the husband on here that would rinse mince. He'd brown it off then run it under the tap in a strainer. Why would you?
Of course the thread degenerated into people claiming that while they wouldn't rinse mince, they'd squeeze cheese, tickle pickle and mutter at butter. It was a good thread too.

Let me guess -- he's got a big ego on him, to the point where he just can't accept that "whatever the hell he thinks of on the fly" is not as good as "stuff people have been combining successfully for years and that tastes good together to almost everyone."

I've known this kind of man. I think you should watch out, because if his ego is this easily bruised over something clearly disgusting, and he's got you saying "oh, I'll eat it anyway" and worrying about whether you're unreasonable not to just eat whatever he serves you even if it's awful, you may be on track to the kind of relationship that will see some MN relationships threads in the near future.

Send him on a cookery course for his Christmas present he obviously likes cooking and you will both benefit

I feel a bit sick OP!!!
Have some cake to make up for it

I'm quite tough but your list made me gag.

More shocked at the fact that you would keep chips and peas for 2 days than the fact he is putting them with pasta. Wouldn't they have gone all congealed and hard - 2 day old cold chips ewwwww!

Please don't tell me they were mushy peas?

I'd have refused to eat it. And I'd have laughed at him if he got the pip about it (and made a mental note that he was not only a shit cook but a humourless bastard who takes himself too seriously)

I feel sick too 🤢

I would have refused and got myself a take away, don't care how much of an ungrateful bitch I would look! I know this is a lighthearted thread but this would really put me off someone. To me it's like someone admitting they don't know how to dress themself, it's such a basic requirement of being an adult.

It sounds like he's trying to make it as disgusting as possible.

Next time you cook for him, make risotto with raw rhubarb, old chips, gravy and fish fingers. Tell him you're being creative. Don't eat it yourself.

Good job the ice cream wasn't in the road or he might have stuck in a 99 too

When you said chips, I paused and checked to see what I'd read. That's bonkers. That's not bad cooking or unusual, it's actually totally insane. What's wrong with a good old pasta with just pesto sauce? So delicious and simple.

I'm going to have nightmares about a slop bucket filled with pasta, chips and tahini. Remember what school dinners used to get scraped into. That is what he cooked. I don't think cookery lessons are the answer. He needs some kind of lobotomy. Of the gourmet lobe.

This reminds me of the time that my brother was pissed off with my parents and decided to enact his revenge by cooking something revolting. They had no idea, so politely ploughed through it.

Is he trying to be frugal?

frugal would be pasta and pesto - he wasted perfectly good avocado and tahini paste To say nothing of the waste of leftover chips. Who keeps leftover chips? I thought my late mother was the last one to do that (once discovered a half-eaten mcdonalds burger and a few chips wrapped up in the freezer)

Peas keep fine (though I wouldn't put in pesto pasta) but chips can't be revived once they've cooled down. However, at least your dp is trying. I would give him credit for that (whether male or female). He does need to learn to accept constructive crticism though.

Yuk. Things that can legitimately be added to pasta with pesto:
Bacon
Lardons
Courgettes
Sautéed onion
Mushrooms
Cherry tomatoes
Toasted pine nuts
Parmesan
Possibly green beans or broccoli if you are big on veg.

Chips, peas, avocado no, just no!

Ok, im the worlds most useless cook, ive burnt frozen hamburgers
But damn op, his cooking makes mine look fancy and mine is actually edible

It reminds me of this

Watch from 15:00 minutes into the video.

I have never ever said this on Mumsnet before but I think you should LTB.

Show him that episode of Friends where Rachel makes a meat pie and trifle together because the pages got stuck in the cookbook.