To be fed up of mums who get praised for....

[Sienna333]

1. Either exercising a lot and at quite a tough pace when almost ready to drop

and

1. For mums who get back into training just days after the birth.

I am sick of reading "Wow, You are SO amazing, an inspiration!' On my Facebook feeds. I can't see what is so heroic about it? Just enjoy your baby and those special first moments instead of trying to impress all your followers you know?

OP I don't think people are necessarily misunderstanding your comment. I realise that its fine to exercise, although you have repeatedly stated only gently. Most importantly though they absolutely shouldn't tell anyone about it especially on social media.

Whilst I understand your view of this as narcissim, surely any and every post on social media falls under that criteria. Whether you are posting about what you had for dinner, the lovely holiday you have just had or how charming your dc are; fundamentally the poster is looking for a reaction on some level. If you object to all such commentary on the lives of your friends then I suggest you just come off social media (or at least turn off your news feed) IF however it is solely those who inform you that their spare time is spent exercising that offends you then YABU.

I exercise a lot, I have toned down slightly since the BFP, and not taking up something that I didn't do before I got pregnant. I don't post every time I work out but I might post if I have taken part in a race. Its what I have done with my weekend - how is it any different to other friends saying they spent the weekend on a babymoon or met up with friends for lunch?

Surely what's excessive and gentle depends on the mother in question? I have a friend who has ran almost 200 marathons. If she scales back to half-marathon distance, that is gentle for her. Way more gentle than someone who has never exercised doing C25K

But understand that what's excessive for one person is normal or lightweight for another. Back in the uk I know a lot of ultra runners - for funsies they run over mountains, fifty, sixty km a day.
So for them, a light run might be a four hour trip out that would have floored me for days even at my fittest. And me at my fittest would definitely have been excessive for someone who doesn't excercise past a few trips to the gym or a light jog.

Excessive isn't really a set level - I'm crippled after spd and pregnancy and excessive for me just now is running for the bus. But excessive a few years back would have been what for many people would seem crazy. So it's not cut and dried.

Social media IS narcissistic by its very nature.

Maybe these Mums need to make a statement like that in order to keep themselves motivated to exercise. We spend ages cheering on Marathon runners, children doing sport, why wouldn't we praise Mums who are keeping themselves fit & healthy ? So yes I think you are being a bit mean, as I bet you wouldn't mind a bit of praise if you were exercising pre- or Postpartum

I think I am with you, op. There is a pressure in general to get back to 'normal ' asap after having a baby. It could be back to work, back to clubbing, back to exercise or back to normal weight.

Having a baby is a.big.thing. We should be allowed to sit back and embrace the change. It is not selling out. We have the rest of our lives for normal.

The exercise thing doesn't sit easily with me actually because a lot of people obsess over it due to weight loss and that is a huge societal pressure. People are always looking at celebrities getting back to size 8 and a lot of them have done this by investing heavily in a personal trainer because they could not bear the weight to come off slowly and naturally as it should - and most likely will do.

Like you I don't find it inspiring at all. I f8nd it slightly depressing. The biggest inspiration for me would be those who are relaxed about it all but that would not make a great social media post

People can sit back and embrace it if that's what they need or choose to do. That doesn't mean everyone else should too.

Of course there are people who will rush things too fast for their own bodies because they are easily influenced by those around them & society. But the flip side is that some people are just as easily swayed to do too little by those around them, when there is no logical reason for it.

Telling someone who struggles with their weight, doesn't enjoy exercise, and has low self esteem that they should be athletically fit pre birth and post birth also look it, is unpleasant to say the least.

However to tell that same person they should just ditch their normal efforts to be healthy, and spend the next 9 months eating for 2 and being sedentary is hardly being supportive either. You can probably get away with telling them the same for 6 months after, 'breastfeeding? Oh yes eat for 2 and take it easy'. But 4/5 years down the line when they are still really unhappy with their weight, and now have a load of bad habits to break, I don't think they'd be thanking those who influenced them.

And in rl, rather than celeb gossip, I've met far more in the latter group. And eat for 2 is something i've heard far more than 'take up hardcore exercise'

daphne dear. Thanks for popping by from your century and sharing how it is back there. No wonder breastfeeding is a ft role there if you are attaching your breasts to the baby, here on this side of the civil war we've discovered it works better the other way round.

It's the posting about it on social media and wanting/giving adoration and praise that's the issue.
Do what you want but don't pretend it's not a lot about your appearance and vanity if you are putting it on social media.

Most things on SM seem to be slightly narc imo. I get fed up of seeing endless selfies and the like. I really couldn't give a dam what you look like the day after you posted the picture of you yesterday. It's still your mug. Nothing's changed!
If you want to carry on exercising - great, but you don't need to let the whole world know.
I'd rather give praise to the many women who have gone through traumatic births and done other amazing things to bring their baby into the world.
I've got three children and had miscarriages and blood clots which I wouldn't dream of posting on Fb. I was injecting myself with Heparin through all the pregnancies and afterwards so getting back to fitness was not a priority.. That doesn't make me any more or less of a mum than anyone else. Same goes for doing some sit ups after the birth.
Do it, just don't lark on about it. It's really not that amazing!

Op no one is misunderstanding. Lots of us just dont agree.

Anything you put on social media could make someone else feel bad or feel their is an expectation. It only bothers you brcsuse its exercise.

I wasnt one of these people and i certainly didnt snap back. But its up to them. How they look 4 week post birth or when they started exercising doesnt impact me and doesnt place a judgment on me.

If you feel it does give SM a break. Rather than dictate what people can post.

You refuse to answer why exercise post birth is different to anything else. You have been given lots of examples of posts that could make new mothers feel (or anyone) feel bad but dont want to answer. Thats up to you. But it suggests you dont really get it or dont ignoring it because you cant answer it.

So the in a nutshell social media is fine if you use it to discuss your need for wine, why you're so tired and generally bitch about life. It's also fine if you post anything that self-deprocatingly talks about why you're a bad mum, your house is a tip, having a sofa day, eating ben and jerry's. Just about ok probably to mention birthdays.

But if you share nice photos of yourself and family, positive things, going to exercise or eating healthily then you're some kind of narc who is bragging and fishing for compliments and generally being everything that is wrong and self-centered in the world.

It's fine to DO something nice. But whatever you do, don't share it.

Maybe I'm odd. I LIKE seeing friends on slimming world share a photo of their 6 stone certificate. I like seeing my friends do fitness challenges. I like seeing ny friends do nice things in life. It's so much nicer than the whining/'I'm so hilariously bad' posts from 'full time mummies' about why their house has been trashed and it's only 11am, followed by comments like 'knownhow you feel hun. Our 2 are the same. Is it time for wine yet?'

I think you have it maisey.

maisy and gogosparta - you're doing a fab job of derailing the thread to fit your own agenda by consistently missing the OPs point.

Stop acting like a couple of bitchy mean girls and actually read what the OP has written.

Christ. MN at its very very best.

I have someone on fb who had a baby on a Friday and was posting pics of herself in the gym on the Monday with the caption "had enough of lying around, time to get back to being a fit mumma. Too many women let themselves go after having a baby, pregnancy is not an excuse to binge eat and be lazy" #inspiration

^ and as the above have consistently failed to grasp I'm pretty convinced it's THOSE people the OP is taking a potshot at (as well as the ones who are putting themselves at potential risk by flexing on FB before appropriate checks have been done).

It's the amateur gym hero that's at fault here, not the ones who are obviously trained professionals.

legend get off you high horse.

The point of the thread is that eomen who continue to and can exercise through pregnancy and post birth should hide away in cave incase they make people feel bad. Its their fault if the person feeling bad then takes up masses of exercise without meducal or professional advice.

Its ridiculous. And the expectation that women should only post stuff as long as it doesnt make others feel bad is ridiculousm the Op has been given lots of examples of where anyone could feel bad or under pressure because of something someone else posts. But refuses to acknowledge any of them.

grecian well she is just as judgmental as peoplr complaining abiut fit women being on social media.

Why dont we all just stop judging other mothers? And work on our own self esteem so it doesnt matter if other people snap back. If you cant, maybe social media isnt for you at the moment.

Anything on social media could make someone feel bad and not good enough. Everything is either classified as bragging or attention seeking. Let people post what they want. Unfollow if you dont like it.

I can assure you that i did not snao back or exercise heavily when pregnantm i was 19 stone the day after i gave birth.

I had spd and could barely walk at the end. I didnt return to any exercising until ds was over a year because i couldnt be arsed. Which was my choice.

I still carry 'baby weight' and ds is 6.

Why dont we all just stop judging other mothers? And work on our own self esteem so it doesnt matter if other people snap back. If you cant, maybe social media isnt for you at the moment

This!

I am not bothered about it at all and actually don't know of anyone like in in real life. I stopped reading mags and celeb news years ago so I am not surrounded by that sort of pressure. I couldn't do anything for 10 weeks after a bad csection so exercise was the last thing on my mind! I wouldn't knock someone who wanted to, each to their own.

I think you need to step away from Facebook, OP. You don't tend to get that volume of comment IRL. It makes anything look over the top. Ordinarily you bump into someone on their way to or from the gym or out on a run. They wouldn't have 'cheerleaders' following them about and you probably wouldn't think much of it.

Exercising right through pregnancy, at an intensity you were used to beforehand and which is still,comfortable in the 'ready to drop' last couple of weeks is fine.

Starting exercise again within days of parturition is not fine. The correct advice is to wait some weeks (6 is rule of thumb, though individuals vary but not down to only days after) - unless of course you want to risk issues with diastasis recti

If ever there was a "first world problem" this is one. If you don't like articles about other women's attitudes to recovering fitness after giving birth, DON'T READ THEM. And then you can stop whingeing [or, more likely, find something else to whinge about].

As an English graduate your answer doesn't make sense, weird? it doesn't matter which generation you are from, NATURE can only be changed by human interference! We are ruining our world, hence the devastation it is causing now.

English graduate? That is one of the funniest things I've ever read.