To be fed up of mums who get praised for....

[Sienna333]

1. Either exercising a lot and at quite a tough pace when almost ready to drop

and

1. For mums who get back into training just days after the birth.

I am sick of reading "Wow, You are SO amazing, an inspiration!' On my Facebook feeds. I can't see what is so heroic about it? Just enjoy your baby and those special first moments instead of trying to impress all your followers you know?

I did have two friends who had, how shall I say, some damage to their bodies because they went back to training too quickly.

I do think culturally there can be quite a pressure to do it so quickly, and now allow some time to just be. Just being is valued less.

I'm referring to the women who disappear to the gym for hours on end,why would one even feel then need?Cradling your newborn and being there for them is surely the priority.

I know plenty of people who go to the gym. Athletes and competative body builders. Non spend hours in there. If it takes you hours you are either doing it wrong or faffing and dragging it out.

They can do the gym and spend loads of time with their baby.

Yes dear,I'm sure one could strap baby to you whilst lifting weights and toning 'abs'.You're missing my point,having just given birth which is imo rather momentous and life changing AND rather precious why oh why would one even have a thought in their head to go to the gym?Seems rather crass and self centred.

'I'm referring to the women who disappear to the gym for hours on end,why would one even feel then need?Cradling your newborn and being there for them is surely the priority.'

Maybe it's their job, plenty of people make a living out of fitness. Maybe they have PND and need that outlet rather than being with the newborn 24/7, maybe the other parent is there with the newborn. Do you feel like this about everyone who doesn't spend the first months attached to their babies? Plenty of people have to go back to work a couple of weeks or a month after birth due to being self-employed or not being able to afford to live off just MA or SMP if they haven't been employed with a company long enough when they were pregnant.

I worked out at the gym a few weeks after giving birth both times. Life isn't all cuddling babies, there is much more to it than that and its funding the balance that works for you and your family.

Selfish? If the definition of selfish isn't spending every second with your children then I'm guilty.

My children have two parents and when I'm not with them them generally their dad is apart from the times I had family babysit.

having just given birth which is imo rather momentous and life changing AND rather precious why oh why would one even have a thought in their head to go to the gym?

Because I exercise for my mental health as much as my physical health and desire to maintain my weight. Not being able to exercise after my traumatic birth exacerbated my PND severely and caused an old injury to flare up.

So now you know and I have educated you so you can stop being wrong in the future. You're welcome.

'You're missing my point,having just given birth which is imo rather momentous and life changing AND rather precious why oh why would one even have a thought in their head to go to the gym?'

Because they want to! Because their fitness and exercise gives them a mental boost they need. Because to them giving birth is not the be all to end all. Seems rather ignorant and narrow-minded not to be able to understand that women can all feel differently about giving birth and having a baby.

@Autumnskies I quite agree.just being is massively undervalued in society.

What was it like mummy when I was born?Darling you were lovely but after a few days I needed to work on my summer body so off I popped for some much needed me time,one didn't feel cuddles and snuggles with you was enough.

Eyeroll.

What was it like mummy when I was born?Darling you were lovely but after a few days I needed to work on my summer body so off I popped for some much needed me time,one didn't feel cuddles and snuggles with you was enough.

Fucking pissing myself. Amazing. I love it.

Now you are just plain rude after people have taken time to explain it to you.

Now my kids are slightly older they share my interest in fitness and I like that I have opened their eye to this.

burberry 'a few light stretches' and the type of walk you refer to aren't my idea of exercise. But neither do I take 3 hours in a gym.

Do you also judge the mums who don't exercise but perhaps have other dc, or are exhausted from a non sleeper, or who are recovering from a difficult birth, because they won't be cuddling their baby 24/7 either? Or those who relax with a bath or a lunch date? Those with dp's so the mum isn't doing everything 24/7? What about if you need 10 hours sleep, instead of 6, reducing bonding time? Are they all selfish too because they don't all hold their baby at all times?

Let me guess, all your parenting choices are the only way to parent properly.

Personally I feel sorry for those babies who have ignorant, self righteous mothers.

Just expressing a different opinion dears,possibly treading on a nerve here.

No nerve trodden on here. My love of fitness has seen me run a marathon, do halfs, lift more than my body weight and leave me proud of my strength and yes, my figure.

I do love my kids as well!

That's one of the reasons why I don't have a Facebook account. Everyone compares themselves to other people, and quite frankly I do not want to see what people are eating for dinner or what cars they have bought.. I honestly do not give a shit lol

I don't get why it's cool and acceptable to be all 'mmm takeaway', it's wine o clock, prosecco with the girls, lazy day and yet people inwardly eye roll when people share the same sort of info but health or exercise related.

I'd much rather read a positive and inspiring post about someone making the effort to go to the gym than the sociably acceptable binge drinking posts that are much more prevalent! It's fucking ridiculous that someone taking an active interest in their health and fitness is seen as negative and annoying than someone documenting their excruciating hangover and inevitable Dominoes binge on a Sunday afternoon week in week out.
It's upside down.

High fives Nick! Here, too. We now share fitness as a family. DD2 spent the weekend climbing a ben and then doing some rock climbing. Wahey! Not even 12 but she's already capable of setting up a shelter and getting through a night in the bush if lost, building a fire, hiking for miles on varied terrain, an excellent swimmer and involved in sports at school. A few light stretches just doesn't do it for me. It never has. I've been athletic since I began ballet at the age of 3.

expat I was late to exercise, only started doing it properly in my late 20's.

Never sure why if you are into fitness it seems to mean you don't bond with your kids!

I have a baby who is now 5 months old and I have only managed to go jogging twice and to the gym once. I am just a big boob and although I am glad he is feeding and doing well I had hoped I would have some freedom by now but he won't accept a bottle. I need a little exercise for my own mental health and wellbeing. And just a little time for myself. I feel so much better about everything if I do a little exercise. It's not to lose weight or get toned or to receive praise. It's for me. My other half works shifts so I can't do it daily as he is a Velcro baby so even if I'm home I can't do an exercise DVD. I just tell myself that I will get back into it as and when 😝

Well I used to just bung my 5 week old in to a (lie flat) buggy and go for a run - fab for both of us.

I't's so hard to carve out time for yourself as a mum but really important. If you feel good and strong and healthy then you can cope better. I dont think it's about Abs and Core surely, but any mum who prioritises her fitness is to be praised, surely? It's for herself and her kids? Healthy mum, healthy kids.

Tbh its quite clear that some people feel inadequate next to mothers who exercise. All these claims that it makes other women feel bad are bollocks. Any post on facebook could make another mother feel bad. Posting about your baby at all, could be very upsetting for those who cant have kids or have had a miscarriage.

As are the 'oh i missed out on your childhood because i was at the gym', just smacks of jealousy. There is no reason to spend all day in the gym. No one needs to. The fact that posters use exercising as stick to beat women with and call them shitty mothers, says more about that poster and their feelings of inadequacy than it does about anyone else.

Its amazing that some women really try and stop other women making choices for themseleves. Or drag them down for making a choice they dont agree with.

Jeez I'd rather be at a gym weeks after I've given birth missing an hour out of my babies life per day than not wanting to be around my baby at all which is a stage where I was coming too due to nothing going how I wanted it to. Sometimes you have to be selfish even for an hour a day to help your mental health. For me I'd rather be in the gym than taking anti depressants

I agree Gorgosparta.

In pregancy, there will be women who can exercise perfectly healthily, women who would love to carry on but have been told to stop, women who realise they need to start gentle exercise for health benefits, women who are silly and ignore medical advice and women who use pregnancy as an excuse to do nothing and eat for 2.

Equally, post birth there will be women who phase in quicky back to normal, women who have had c sections who can't for a while, women who've been told no for a while, women who would like to but because of a fussy baby just can't quite fit it in and women who don't want to/can't be bothered but dress it up with fuss and judgement like 'I care too much about my child to waate time in thr gym. Nobody wants to tell their child they missed out on cuddles to go running'

What's to be gained from belittling those who choose to exercise in a way that suits them ans their needs?

Sometimes I wonder if the judgey ones morph into the people who choose not to have a social life or hobbies for thr next 10 years but then make a point that it's 'because my children need ME and I'm far too busy making memories to have any time for myself'.

I can understand your concerns if the pregnant women in the gym , have suddenly decided to take up exercise at week 38 of their pregnancy .

frumpety
I think all of us would agree that a heavily pregnant woman suddenly taking up a new, intense form of exercise isn't good.

But if someone chooses to make that stupid choice, it's not because other women are making the right choices for them and talking about it on social media.