To be fed up of mums who get praised for....

[Sienna333]

1. Either exercising a lot and at quite a tough pace when almost ready to drop

and

1. For mums who get back into training just days after the birth.

I am sick of reading "Wow, You are SO amazing, an inspiration!' On my Facebook feeds. I can't see what is so heroic about it? Just enjoy your baby and those special first moments instead of trying to impress all your followers you know?

Katharina, I think it's irresponsible in some ways as other women may feel pressured to achieve the same

You can apply that to anything on facebook.

Someone, with a new baby, posts a photo of a gournet homemade meal. Another woman with a new baby feels that she should also be doing this and feel the pressure to do this everyday and stresses herself out trying to do it all.

Someone, with a new baby, post a photo of their baby with the rest of their friends and their babies. Someone else, with a new baby, feels the pressure to make herself go out more and socialise even though she doesnt feel upto it.

Someone, with a new baby, posts they are in date night. Some else, with a new baby, feels that her and her OH arent putting enough effort in and starts oressuring themseleves to organise date nights. Even though they are kanckered and just want to go to bed.

I think there's different 2 things.
Many women use pregnancy as an excuse to become real slobs, doing nothing, over eating and carry on for years after. Looking at someone who is dedicated, watch what they are eating, force herself to exercise for an hour or more every day, even with a baby who doesn't sleep yet, then yes, they deserve to be admired. It takes effort.

It IS unfair for all the mums who are physically unable to exercise, who would love to, have the dedication but are on firm bed rest for example, for the sake of their babies. Same mums who have bad medical issues post birth and whose body have taken an awful beating.

YANBU if you feel things are unfair and are fed up: some women are healthy, have no medical issue and have a huge support group to babysit whilst they exercise. Not everybody is that lucky. Not everyone can exercise, some mums are lucky to be alive or have a baby who made it, but need months to recover. It is easier for some than others.

YABU a little bit for not recognising the fact that some women are inspiring, and great models. There is a huge part of luck though.

People post all sorts of things on FB. It's up to the individual (and their midwife/doctor I guess) whether they want to exercise or not and how strenuous. Who is posting this? Is it friends or celebrities?
Fwiw I exercised regularly up until I gave birth to my first and third. With the second I was active constantly because I had a young toddler. I did it for me, not for anyone else's praise.

it can't be sensible lying down and lifting heavy weights with a 9 month bump - my doc said it's fine. The people who make the program I teach say it's fine. I'm curious, what's your 'can't be sensible' opinion based on?

How exactly do you know what another woman's "limit" is?! I was both cleared and encouraged to continue working out at my normal level throughout all of my pregnancies. For that matter I exerted myself more chasing a toddler while heavily pregnant than some people without one might do -- was that also irresponsible?

If you've never lifted weights or exercised a lot before you're 9 months gone then aye, it's probably not the most sensible idea, but if you have and kept it up with safety in mind I can't see the problem.

Katharina, I think it's irresponsible in some ways as other women may feel pressured to achieve the same and it can't be sensible lying down and lifting heavy weights with a 9 month bump. If it's gentle exercise like swimming/walking then great but encouraging heavily pregnant mums to keep pushing themselves above their limits at this stage in the pregnancy? I find that reckless, sorry

Medical advice is women are fine to continue their exercise plans possibly with adaptations where appropriate. Its not advised you pick up anything new or ramp up your training.

Im TTC. I work out 3-4 times a week. That's normal to me. Unless there are any issues, thats what i will continue to do until a time where i feel it is not ok. I will not drop to 'gentle walks' in case someone sees me and thinks i shouldn't be doing it. Equally, i will probably pick up exercise at a higher level after than someone who has done no exercsise but post-baby decides to lose their baby weight.

It's not reckless for doing that.
Sharing it on social media isn't reckless.

If somebody is silly enough to ignore medical advice, see someone doing weights on facebook and then try to lift 40kg when 6 months pregnant then that's THEIR stupidity.

I am not a new mum, I am an ex professional dancer so not a fat slob either.
With the pressure, it also comes with physical danger. I couldn't watch this heavily pregnant womans workout lifting weights as I was petrified she was going to drop a weight on her stomach.
I just don't think women who exercise hard and strenuously right before and right after birth are role models or inspiring. Mums who keep healthy and exercise in a SAFE way and who don't push it in other people's faces? Well that is only a good thing.

Gawd the vipers are out in force today - YANBU OP, completely see where you are coming from.

As someone who loves a workout but doesn't feel the need to post about it online I find gym boasters grate anyway.

But - in the example of someone I know - if you are back training HARD within three weeks of having a baby and flashing your washboard abs on FB because your personal trainer hasn't left your side for a moment I find myself hoping that the appropriate post natal checks were done as trust me, all the washboard abs in the world won't undo the awfulness of a vaginal prolapse.

I couldn't watch this heavily pregnant womans workout lifting weights as I was petrified she was going to drop a weight on her stomach.

I worry when i see heavily pregnant women walking out and about when its icy. Or when they are on the tube and its packed.

My mil tripped up walking down the road at 8 months pregnant. Her baby, very sadly, died as she landed on her belly.

I dont judge women who do any of the above.

I get your point, but I agree with above, exercising in a safe way depends on who the mum is, and how the pregnancy is going. It's very unfair to think that mums who don't exercise do it by choice. However, t's not pushing in people' s face something you are proud of achieving, and rightly so.

you could go further, putting news about pregnancy and baby is going to hurt or offend someone too. You should be able to put anything on your own social media, if people don't like it, they are free to unfollow.

I have knows some athletes who barely had to slow down before and just after birth, I have seen others who were put on bed rest and could barely walk for weeks after a bad birth. Pregnancies are not fair or equal at all.

Showing women who can that, yes, it can be done, you can get up and move, keep your body, or work to have it back, it's a good thing. Having a baby is not a curse, you can go back to run marathons and wear bikinis not long after (if you are lucky), or much later (if you are not)

Op, do you feel it pressurises you, is that the issue, it makes you feel bad?

You've went from women should just enjoy their time with baby to now saying it's a danger thing only.

Is the real issue your feelings about yourself?

Lifting weight is a safe method of training, especially if you are used to it and are sensible but that doesn't stop you lifting weights.

I've never once dropped a weight on my stomach, even when not pregnant.

I we back in the gym 4 weeks after a c section. Didn't post it on Fb though.

Not at all Bluntness. My kid isn't a baby anymore and I don't have weight issues. I am very happy with my body.
This is just my opinion and it worries me how easily influenced some new mums are in that they will copy what they see. It's a risk they knowingly take not an everyday risk like slipping on ice. To clarify again, my issue isn't with mums exercising, it's those who boast about it on social media and post tough workouts very shortly before and after birth. I just don't agree with it. But I am not in any way saying exercise is wrong, just that it should be done in moderation and sensibly.

The OP is correct in saying you can't always continue as you were during pregnancy. You have to weigh up the risks to the baby. I am a keen and competent skier and live close to multiple resorts. For both my pregnancies I was/will be heavily pregnant by ski season and thus did not ski, as the risk of a fall or being knocked over by someone is just too big a risk for the baby.

Jeez why so judgey op. Just let people do what they want, you don't know their own situation.

I have been going to spin classes 2-3 times a week before I was pregnant and kept it up to quite late on in my pregnancy. You should have seen the looks of some of the people in the gym

I was encouraged to do this by my midwives as they said exercise would help with SPD. Also labour is one of the hardest most intense thing I have ever done. Why wouldn't I train to keep up my strength levels? I would train hard for a marathon, why should I stop doing that for labour?

It was the right choice for me as it helps my mental health. I needed the exercise! When you have spent your whole life exercising regularly, it's very difficult to stop!

OP you'd like me I was a big runner before kids,just got back to it,youngest is almost 14,didn't want to rush things.

With the pressure, it also comes with physical danger. I couldn't watch this heavily pregnant womans workout lifting weights as I was petrified she was going to drop a weight on her stomach.

But it's not for you to decide what's physical danger for her.

What would be dangerous for me might be fine for another woman.

I just don't think women who exercise hard and strenuously right before and right after birth are role models or inspiring
Again, is it your place to decide what is hard and strenuous for a woman? No.

I don't get what your issue is OP.

You wouldn't have a problem with women posting about their lazy days, their spa days, their end of a long week fizz on their baby-free evening. It's just active women you have an issue with.

it's those who boast about it on social media and post tough workouts very shortly before and after birth. I just don't agree with it. But I am not in any way saying exercise is wrong, just that it should be done in moderation and sensibly.

You refuse to answer why this is any different to any new mum posting something.

Maisy, I am an ex pro dancer and used to run for the county so that is a ridiculous comment to make.

Gorgosparta
That's what I mean.

It's fine sharing anything else you do, lunch with friends, lazy days, going to baby group. But not exercising or being active because that's dangeous.

Sienna333
But that's what i'm getting from tbis thread.

It's fine for pregnant or new mums to share anything they like or gentle exercise that you think is acceptable for them. But they shouldn't do anything thay deviates from your idea of acceptable because that's showing off, boasting, risky or pressuring others.

I wish I could have kept excercising during pregnancy- I was horribly sick the whole time then had awful spd that has never got better even years after birth.

A woman who is fit and used to a level of excercise can continue to excercise as long as she feels fit to. There are some things you shouldnt do - redline heart rate for extended periods (e.g. Someone running a marathon at exertion pace) because it can divert blood away from the uterus. Or excess force if experiencing joint laxity.

But otherwise it's GOOD to be active in pregnancy. I wasn't and I felt it.

Whether messages on social media are negative depends on the context. Images promoting fitness and strength I have no problem with. Images aimed at 'looking good for your man' or 'I'm thin again in six weeks why aren't you?' Are a problem.

That Maria kang woman - the 'I look like this? What's your excuse?' Yeah, that's shit. Context is everything I think.

This is just my opinion and it worries me how easily influenced some new mums are in that they will copy what they see. It's a risk they knowingly take not an everyday risk like slipping on ice

I knowwwwww women who have gone at it hard to get the washboard stomach within days of birth. They aren't professionals, they've not been taught how to lift/stretch correctly and are at risk of doing themselves a genuine mischief if they don't get a professional internal post natal check before resuming exercise of any kind of impact. Failure to do so can really mess you up internally - fact.

And that's why the OP INBU.

I completely agree with disliking people's posts when it is blatant vanity or 'what's your excuse' type women. In fact, I rarely go on social media because of it... I hate the boasty, narcissistic and selfie obsessed nation we seem to have become.

What I do vehemently disagree with is you saying heavily pregnant women exercising 'look ridiculous'
That is incredibly judgy! And as pp have said - you have no idea what is safe or isn't for that individual. And we already have enough of women policing other women's behaviour in pregnancy.
Also - if there are women silly enough out there to risk their health and that of their babies because of some posts they've seen on Facebook then that is their fault... not the person who posted the video originally.