Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

AIBU......mahoosive argument with sister

114 replies

mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 14:38

I will try to be as brief as possible....basically we all shared a big house on holiday this year because it was Mum's 80th birthday in August. My sister is the youngest in our family and is pregnant with her 4th baby. Her other kids are all under 6!!! Mine are teenagers now. I adore her kids but she treats her eldest son as if he is the King of England. He calls all the shots and if he wants to do something it just has to happen. No idea why this is the case. He wanted to come and meet us on the beach one day and my sister texted me to ask where we were but unfortunately I didn't get the text for ages and we had changed our location several times so I couldn't exactly say where we were going to be. I did call her to explain where we roughly were and that we were exploring rather than just sitting around but got her answer phone so left a long message. That night when we had our joint family meal she was rather annoyed. To cut a long story short....when she went to put kids to bed I commented to Mum that I couldn't understand why she hadn't found out the sex of new baby due in October because her eldest wants a surprise (this is true!!) Mum was agreeing with me and then my sister stormed back in and went mad as she had been hiding behind kitchen door and had listened to our conversation. Huge row ensure. Concluded with my brother in law ordering us out of holiday home. We went and haven't spoken since. WWYD???

OP posts:

MsGameandWatching · 10/09/2017 14:42

Her other kids are all under 6!!!

I think this sentence complete with exclamation marks shows why she might find you annoying.

HighwayDragon1 · 10/09/2017 14:43

Wow you don't like your sister much do you?

Judging her for having 4 under 6, judging her parenting, bitching about her not finding to sex of the baby, not waiting for her on the beach.

I'm not surprised she's not spoken to you.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 10/09/2017 14:44

Sounds like you and your mum were bitching about her behind her back. Are you the golden child?

Tazerface · 10/09/2017 14:46

Well, it might be annoying but seriously you were bitching about your sister and her oldest son in her hearing. Even if you didn't know she wasn't listening in I think you should have held your tongue. How horrible for her to have to overhear that.

YABU.

Purplemac · 10/09/2017 14:46

YABU. None of your business if she doesn't want to find out the sex. And stop judging her for having her fourth child whilst the others are young. Maybe she wants a big family and for her children to be close, and maybe she wants to get all the nappies and night waking over and done with in one fell swoop.

stitchglitched · 10/09/2017 14:47

It isn't unreasonable to do whatever you can to make young kids feel included and not pushed out by a new baby. Sounds like they are doing that by waiting for a 'surprise'. Why were you bitching about it?

RhubardGin · 10/09/2017 14:49

It's pretty clear from your wording that you don't like your sister and disagree with her parenting.

If you came accross this way on holiday I'm not suprised they asked you to leave.

TittyGolightly · 10/09/2017 14:49

when she went to put kids to bed I commented to Mum that I couldn't understand why she hadn't found out the sex of new baby due in October because her eldest wants a surprise (this is true!!) Mum was agreeing with me and then my sister stormed back in and went mad as she had been hiding behind kitchen door and had listened to our conversation. Huge row ensure.

Don't blame her. You sound like a right cow.

Why does it matter to you what sex her baby is?

I won't be having any more children but if I did finding out the sex would absolutely be something I discussed with both DH and DD. Why shouldn't the baby's sibling be involved?

Bluntness100 · 10/09/2017 14:57

You sound really judgey and fairly unpleasant. You were sitting there bitching about her not knowing gender to please her eldest, (she personally may know and not be telling anyone to keep it a surprise for the kids) and you wonder why she's pissed off with you?

I'd apologise. And pull you're judgey pants wedgey out first so your voice isn't strangulated.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 10/09/2017 14:59

Wow. You sound absolutely delightful.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2017 15:07

How would YOU feel if you discovered your own mother and sister deriding you behind your back yet right under your nose? And over something so insignificant that doesn't even affect you in any way, and is none of your damn business.

Quite frankly, you sound miserable and judgmental.

HelloSquirrels · 10/09/2017 15:09

She doesn't like you because you're judging her.

BewareOfDragons · 10/09/2017 15:09

You don't sound like you like your sister very much. You have criticized, indirectly, her decision to have a 4th child - lots of people prefer to have their children close in age. You have criticized her treatment of her son - you only have a snapshot here and there of his treatment. You have criticized her very personal family decision to find out/not find out the sex of her next baby in advance - none of your business. And you bitched about her to your mum behind her back, or so you thought.

While perhaps no one had the right to throw you out of the holiday home if you were paying for your stay, I can completely understand why she doesn't have a lot to say to you at the moment. You seem to resent her, and it shines through your own post. You need to look at yourself and how you view your sister rather than lay the blame of your criticisms, condescension, and bitchiness at her door.

UrsulaPandress · 10/09/2017 15:11

I can't stand people who listen at doors.

And if you had all shared the house how could your BIL order you out?

Sayyouwill · 10/09/2017 15:12

You don't sound very nice at all.

You're upset at her for being upset at you for her catching you bitching about her? What a cow

FetchezLaVache · 10/09/2017 15:14

If your mother is 80 and your sister is the youngest sibling, she must be in her late 30s at least. Yet the way you talk about her in your post suggests that she's some silly kid. Why is you don't get on, OP?

DressedCrab · 10/09/2017 15:17

No way would I have allowed myself to be thrown out of a holiday home that I'd paid for.

They sound awful.

Expemsiveuniform · 10/09/2017 15:18

You really don't like her do you?

None of your business why she didn't want to find out. S

Original poster

mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 15:19

I am very close to my sister and O have totally supported her decision to have a fourth baby. I think it is wonderful. I probably haven't explained this very well as was trying to summarise basic situation. My sis has found out the sexes of all other children and hates surprises so I was a bit taken aback as this is totally out of character. I have told her loads of times she is amazing and all her kids are absolutely lively and she has done a brilliant job with them all. I am not a cow. Sorry. Found all responses really nasty.

OP posts:

CredulousThickos · 10/09/2017 15:19

Is this a reverse? It's just that you sound fairly normal in your other posts and this one is, erm, incredibly unreasonable.

Original poster

mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 15:21

Lovely not lively although they are that too! ☺

OP posts:

BackieJerkhart · 10/09/2017 15:21

I commented to Mum that I couldn't understand why she hadn't found out the sex of new baby due in October because her eldest wants a surprise (this is true!!)

Naw you were having a bitch about her behind her back with her mother. You weren't just making a comment. Own it.

Zaphodsotherhead · 10/09/2017 15:21

I had five kids in seven years. It was brilliant and they are all close friends now (to each other, and to me!). Far easier to deal with than kids with 3 years between them, which would mean twelve years between the eldest and the youngest!
(slightly misses point of OP)

Original poster

mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 15:22

OP posts:

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 15:22

That night when we had our joint family meal she was rather annoyed. To cut a long story short....when she went to put kids to bed I commented to Mum that I couldn't understand why she hadn't found out the sex of new baby due in October because her eldest wants a surprise (this is true!!) Mum was agreeing with me and then my sister stormed back in and went mad as she had been hiding behind kitchen door and had listened to our conversation. Huge row ensure

You were very unkind to your sister. Talking about her behind her back isn't a pleasant thing to do. You sound very judgemental.

Concluded with my brother in law ordering us out of holiday home. We went and haven't spoken since. WWYD???

I am very glad your BIL stood up for his pregnant wife and dealt with the situation.

You need to offer your sister a massive apology and try and build bridges

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread