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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU......mahoosive argument with sister

114 replies

mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 14:38

I will try to be as brief as possible....basically we all shared a big house on holiday this year because it was Mum's 80th birthday in August. My sister is the youngest in our family and is pregnant with her 4th baby. Her other kids are all under 6!!! Mine are teenagers now. I adore her kids but she treats her eldest son as if he is the King of England. He calls all the shots and if he wants to do something it just has to happen. No idea why this is the case. He wanted to come and meet us on the beach one day and my sister texted me to ask where we were but unfortunately I didn't get the text for ages and we had changed our location several times so I couldn't exactly say where we were going to be. I did call her to explain where we roughly were and that we were exploring rather than just sitting around but got her answer phone so left a long message. That night when we had our joint family meal she was rather annoyed. To cut a long story short....when she went to put kids to bed I commented to Mum that I couldn't understand why she hadn't found out the sex of new baby due in October because her eldest wants a surprise (this is true!!) Mum was agreeing with me and then my sister stormed back in and went mad as she had been hiding behind kitchen door and had listened to our conversation. Huge row ensure. Concluded with my brother in law ordering us out of holiday home. We went and haven't spoken since. WWYD???

OP posts:
Easyonthetonic · 10/09/2017 16:45

If all she overheard was the comment about you being surprised about her not finding out the sex of her baby, that doesn't seem that awful. Was it what was said in the 'huge row' that followed?

Please do tell us why you BIL was able to order you out? Posters keep asking.

Pickleypickles · 10/09/2017 16:45

I think you both you and BIL were BU. If you have paid for a holiday cottage i dont think it fair anyone kicks you out Confused BUT you should know better than discussing someone whilst they are in the same house as you.

Original poster
mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 17:44

Mum stayed in the holiday home. She had retreated into her bedroom. BIL is ex-military and a bit of a knob.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 17:47

BIL ordered us out as we were in their section...we had a separate bit. We left because tbh I didn't want to upset anyone any more. My sis was really irate and I thought it best.

OP posts:
Expemsiveuniform · 10/09/2017 17:48

So he didn't throw your mother out?

MadMags · 10/09/2017 17:50

So he didn't throw anyone out! Hmm

Expemsiveuniform · 10/09/2017 17:50

And he didn't even actually throw you out?

Allthewaves · 10/09/2017 17:51

So bil asked u to leave the part of the house they were staying in as u were in another part? And to go back to your part

Allthewaves · 10/09/2017 17:53

There has to have been more said in this row for it to get so inflamed.

I'm guessing you critiqued her parenting of her children during said row

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2017 17:54

So your BIL did NOT "kick you out", he just asked you to go to your side of the house. Good grief!

Gorgosparta · 10/09/2017 17:56

So essentially your judgemental first post wasnt actually even a true version.

Do you have form for exaggerating and not telling the full story?

Gorgosparta · 10/09/2017 17:56

What, exactly, did she over hear?

And what shit did you throw at eachother during the argument.

DamsonGin · 10/09/2017 17:58

So have you apologised to her for talking about her behind her back?

custardcreamplease · 10/09/2017 17:59

So did BIL kick you out of the entire holiday home (therefor requiring you to either go home or find somewhere else to stay) or did he kick you out of their private area (for instance they were staying on the second floor and you on the first) in which case you weren't really kicked out at all?

Neverknowing · 10/09/2017 18:14

Gosh not many supportive comments here !
I think people are picking up on how the op has written this, if she wrote this differently everyone might be on her side.
I honestly think you should call her an apologise. From her side it just looks like you've been bitching about her and tbh if she only heard the end of the conversation she may have thought you were bitching about her for ages ! I sort of get why she would keep it a surprise for her son, maybe it's a family thing they want to do together and it'll be fun. It's going to be hard if she has a young children to introduce a new child, maybe it's her way of including him with the new baby! Being pregnant your hormones are all over the place and she's probably feeling vulnerable. I don't think you've done anything wrong per se but if I were you I'd just apologise to keep the peace.
If you're close she'll need you right now SmileFlowers

Original poster
mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 18:15

He kicked us out. We left. Just forget it

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyoutoflondon04 · 10/09/2017 18:16

Thanks Neverknowing

OP posts:
MadMags · 10/09/2017 18:20

He didn't kick you out! You went back to the part of the house you were actually staying in!

Your vagueness is telling, IMHO.

Gorgosparta · 10/09/2017 18:42

No he didnt. He asked you to leave their part of the house because you had upset his pregnant wife.

EllaHen · 10/09/2017 18:43

Jesus Christ - will people stop getting laid into the op. Saying the same fucking things, over and over.

It's not ideal op, but I'd just wait until your sis offers an olive branch. Or do what we do in my family and pretend it never happened. Healthiest way to get over a falling out. Grin

TheBigPickle · 10/09/2017 18:55

OP,
It was clearly my fault but I thought my sister's reaction was a bit OTT

It WAS you fault but your sisters reaction WAS OTT. I dont think talking about her behind her back is ok but it really wasn't thst bad. I don't think it was bitchy or nasty, it was just a bit judgey 🤷🏻‍♀️ unlike most of the bitchy, nasty and VERY judged posters on this thread

I'd phone and apologise and NEVER go on holiday with them again.

TheBigPickle · 10/09/2017 18:56

It's not ideal op, but I'd just wait until your sis offers an olive branch. Or do what we do in my family and pretend it never happened. Healthiest way to get over a falling out

Hehe, we rarely fall out in my family but if we do pretending it never happened is definitely the way to go. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Sayyouwill · 10/09/2017 19:27

So he didn't kick you out. He asked you to leave the section of the house he was staying in because you upset his pregnant wife? What a mean person he is. How dare he look out for his wife?!

MadMags · 10/09/2017 19:28

But OP was thrown out after a massive argument, not after that one comment. so the passive aggressive strike through is a bit unnecessary

Nuttynoo · 10/09/2017 19:33

Your bil has no right to kick you out of a holiday home your mum paid for. It sounds like your sister is an idiot but so are you. Nephew probably got his dramatics from the two of you.