Argument about grapes!

[mummymi]

Ok, so this will probably sound very petty!
Me and dh were already snappy with each other this morning. I said he is a hypocrite, he is forever moaning at us all for something that he will then do too.
He came back at me with 'well you are patronising, you look down on people who don't cut up grapes'
Our youngest are just 4, I have always cut up grapes for them and if they are served at a party whole I would bite them!
I'm still in a mood hours later, he apologised with 'I'm sorry if I said anything that annoyed you'
I don't know why but when he said it I got quite tearful, so I'm not ready to let it go.
Am I being unreasonable to still be in a mood

Is this about the argument or the grapes?

Probs a bit unreasonable to still be grumpy about it but then again, I look down on people that don't cut up grapes for their yoing children.

I must be missing something, I really don't understand why that was such an upsetting thing to say...

It's hardly sparkling come back to being called a hypocrite. Cutting up grapes for young children is a pretty normal safety precaution, anyone who doesn't do it is putting their child at risk.

I don't think I know anyone who didn't cut up grapes.

All parties we have been to in the last year have had whole grapes. It is something that causes me great anxiety.
I know I am stubborn. I know I shouldn't be in a mood anymore. I don't know why I got so upset about him (I felt) mocking me for cutting grapes and thinking that others should too.

YANBU to cut grapes in half, but YABU to still be in a mood about it for several hours.

I can't bear moody people.

Sounds like sour grapes in particular

Why on earth would you cut grapes in half
Is this some code I don't know

You are upset because he said you look down on people who cut up grapes?

Do you? I cringe when people dont. But i dont look down on them. I am sure i do stuff that makes other cringe.

You called him a hypocrite. He threw a shit insult back.

worried choking hazard in small children.

Is it a thing to cut grapes socially? Have I been a bit uncouth just bunging a bunch out with the cheese?

YANBU for cutting grapes in half for young children

It was hours ago though, his apologised the argument was petty anyway. Let it go!

Just looked it up! Apologies
Anyone who would bring up that you cut grapes up and that makes you a snob is a bit of a dick.
I don't have children obviously

But all seems a little petty

I can't offer a view on your argument OP. Storm in a teacup, I hope!

But the grapes! I'm with you on that. I still cut grapes into quarters for 7 year old DD. I will ask nursery, as I did with my other two, if they cut up grapes at snack time (when DC3 starts in two weeks).

I find it completely odd when I see parents giving toddlers whole grapes.

I used to cut them up but have drilled it into DD at 6 that she bites grapes. Safer to prepare them than the food as they get older.

Do you look down on people who don't cut up grapes? Or judge generally? Or do you just do what you do and let others do as they do? In other words were you upset because it was fair? Or unfair?

I don't know anyone who has young children who doesn't cut grapes in half or even quarters. Just like I don't know anyone who takes their young child out in the car without an appropriate seat. Whilst the latter might be a legal requirement, both are purely from a safely point of view. However, I think there might be more of an underlying issue for you to still be annoyed with him about this.

You sound pretty soft to be so upset by him commenting on your grape cutting, woman up

However, if you still want to be petty you could mention to him that you cut up grapes to stop your DC choking, then give him a plate of whole grapes for tea.

I have no idea why anyone thinks that they need to cut fruit up for a 4 year old who has teeth unless it's a preference that you accept.

That aside, what on earth is really going on?

But the crux of it is that you made what you feel is a legitimate complaint which you can no doubt back up with examples but said in a grumpy way with bad timing (so not really likely to go well), and in being defensive he made a petty bitchy insult back over something that you do which is justified (cttuing grapes, not looking down), just to level the playing field ie make you feel bad. If I am bad, then so are YOU. Naa naaa.

It was a shitty way to respond even if he didn't like being called a hypocrite.

He probably didn't really mean it but wanted to be cruel, but has made a lame apology, but you still think he's a hypocrite AND a now an bitch arsehole too. No wonder you are still upset... you have 2 issues to tackle now...

Look it was a row - people have them. I'm not really getting the grapes thing, I mean I get the cutting but tbh I don't know anyone who cuts grapes from when their kid starts school which would be about 4 where I am. I certainly didn't.

Is it really about something else? You called him a hyprocrite, he called you patronising- You are probably both right.

YABU to still be upset about this. It's a non-issue.

Hmmm, I guess I would probably comment on it after the party so I guess he was right. I would only mention it to him though, nobody else.
Ok, so I was being unreasonable

Euphemia Living with someone who is a genuine hypocrite leaves you feeling anything but superior I think. It can be quite controlling.. at best it gets to be intensely frustrating.

You would bite grapes in half for your children at a party?

I bet you don't get invited back next year.

That's ok, they have started school so whole new group of people I can bite grapes in front of