Argument about grapes!

[mummymi]

Ok, so this will probably sound very petty!
Me and dh were already snappy with each other this morning. I said he is a hypocrite, he is forever moaning at us all for something that he will then do too.
He came back at me with 'well you are patronising, you look down on people who don't cut up grapes'
Our youngest are just 4, I have always cut up grapes for them and if they are served at a party whole I would bite them!
I'm still in a mood hours later, he apologised with 'I'm sorry if I said anything that annoyed you'
I don't know why but when he said it I got quite tearful, so I'm not ready to let it go.
Am I being unreasonable to still be in a mood

guiltybystander how about trying to understand that not all children do as they are told

The whole MN obsession with grapes is weird. Even in the Guardian article that AlpacasPackOwls linked earlier points out that grapes aren't actually the most common problem: hotdogs and sweets are. You're twice as likely to choke on a hotdog than a grape according to the original journal article and it's still uncommon. The ratio of threads on cutting up grapes, hotdogs and sweets on MN however is probably 10 to 1 to 0. Maybe it's because no one is willing to post a thread about the potential choking hazard of junk foods.

Grapes are completely banned at my son's nurseryThey kept sending polite notes home reminding parents to not to send whole grapes in lunchboxes, please halve them.

Apparently there is a rebel among us, as one morning when I dropped him off there was a whiteboard outside the front door in a very angry-looking scrawl "GRAPES ARE NOW BANNED.PLEASE DO NOT SEND IN GRAPES. NO GRAPES. PLEASE"

It clearly isn't just an MN obsession NotBad

I have never cut grapes up

I did not know it was a thing

Most paediatric first aid courses warn about the choking dangers of grapes.
Schools and nurseries do not serve whole grapes to young children for this reason.
Not only are whole grapes the perfect size to get lodged in a windpipe the skin also swells in water making them impossible to dislodge once they get stuck.
The argument sound like a storm in a teacup though. You insulted your DH and he insulted you back. Apologise to each other and let it go,

I'm not saying it's just a MN obsession. I'm saying it's weird the obsession on focussing on the 3rd most common food cause of fatal choking that is still actually uncommon. I have 4 DC, all have been through various forms of child care and school and I've read more about grapes choking children on MN than I ever have experienced with my own in real life and working in Paediatric emergency.

I can't believe parents don't know that you should cut up grapes.

We had a child die at my school the year before I started working there from choking on a grape. Unsurprisingly, schools would really like to prevent a child dying unnecessarily and publicly in front of a hundred other children whilst the TA tried desperately to save their life. It had a huge psychological effect on everyone involved. It happens with enough regularity to be concerned about it.

I quarter my sons grapes and he is nearly 6 so you are not being unreasonable to cut your child's grapes.

You cannot judge another parent for not cutting up grapes. I have friends who don't and that's their choice not to do it.

I couldn't stand someone being in a huff for hours. Just move on from it.

Grapes
Popcorn
Marshmallows
Cherry tomatoes.

None are vital foodstuffs. Two can be easily cut up.

What's the problem and why take the risk?

Or do all your small children skip merrily down the road and stop instantly at the kerb at your command? Or do you hold their hands?

I know of children who have died choking from eating whole grapes. DS is 6 and I still cut them up despite him knowing he must bite them.

The way I look at it is that if he's with his friends and he laughs whilst eating the grape, he could swallow it whole and choke.

I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. Consequences of choking are far far worse than what somebody else thinks.