Argument about grapes!

[mummymi]

Ok, so this will probably sound very petty!
Me and dh were already snappy with each other this morning. I said he is a hypocrite, he is forever moaning at us all for something that he will then do too.
He came back at me with 'well you are patronising, you look down on people who don't cut up grapes'
Our youngest are just 4, I have always cut up grapes for them and if they are served at a party whole I would bite them!
I'm still in a mood hours later, he apologised with 'I'm sorry if I said anything that annoyed you'
I don't know why but when he said it I got quite tearful, so I'm not ready to let it go.
Am I being unreasonable to still be in a mood

How do parents who do cut things up for their children cope when they go to school?

With me I just follow the schools rule on grapes which is

Do not send your child in with grapes unless they are cut lengthways. Grapes that are not will be removed and child will be given a replacement bit of fruit

We didn't have those flat things you put in sockets either
good. They're dangerous and should not be used.

zzzzz the flat things you put in sockets are actually completely needless; they don't make anything safer in a British socket and are no longer recommended

grapes otoh are a real danger

my grandmother knew about this so it's not a new thing

@silverbell64 yes I have read a few stories where paramedics have been unable to dislodge the grape and the child had died.
When my older children were young my friend told me that her friend had a child who died from choking on a grape.

My sil knows kids who have chocked on grapes. Dd(1) isn't allowed them as I'm too fearful of it happening!

I think my problem is I'm a stress, petty stubborn person and my husband is a stress, petty person who knows what to say to hurt me/piss me off.
I'm over it now. Thank you though to the one person who would have held the grudge/bad mood for as long as me though

What? Did my eyes deceive me? You actually used to peel grapes! WOW!

My DD is quite insistent that her presented grapes remain on their vine - she then has great delight picking them individually - she is 2 btw

The OP admitted that peeling them was over the top.

What's your excuse? Would you let her play on the motorway because she was cute & insistant?

Maybe you just don't get on in the whole scheme of things then. Some people are really not meant to be together.

NRAP but this was in the news a long time ago and a child died from eatting a whole grape.

I cut mine up for my kids till about 5 in age, as better safe than sorry and made my mum do it as well....

We're you upset because he teased you for cutting grapes or because he accused you of being 'snobby' about the grapes. If it was the former dw. I know a lot of people who do that. I did for a long time myself. If it's about the later so what if you are a grape snob? Most people are. Unless he was intimating that your grape snobbery was hypocritical because something else you do in the child rearing department isn't good enough, in which case I can see why you are upset. If that is how you took it it probably isn't how he meant it though.

I wasn't actually upset about being called patronising, I know I can be (I correct the spelling and grammar when family write something incorrectly, yes I know that is annoying).
I think I was upset about him using grapes as an example because I feel that uncut grapes are possibly very dangerous.
I get very anxious about keeping my children safe and him mocking me about having to have grapes cut up really touched a nerve.
Anyway, I'm over it now so we are ok until the next petty argument

He wasnt mocking you grape cutting. He was telling you that you are judgy and patronising. Which you admit you are.

Just like you called him a hypocrite

A 4-year old can eat a whole grape. I assume they don't swallow it whole but chew it.
Christ!

I have unfortunately had to perform last rites on a 7 year old who died from choking on a grape. His death was unwitnessed and he was found already on cardiac arrest and it was only when he arrived at A&E and couldn't be intubated that a whole grape was found blocking his airway.

That was a good few years ago now and I will never, ever forget how traumatic it was for everyone involved.

My DS is 3.5 years old and has his grapes cut up and I make sure my DH does it too.

The childminder who had my son said that when we do their packed lunches we must send the grapes in already cut up or she wouldn't give them to the child.

I can't really remember when ds was tiny but we've always told him to bite grapes and nibble it's like a squirrel.

Is this for baby tomatoes too?

I didn't still cut grapes for ds when he was 4, although I did when he was younger.

Anyway, I think this is a bit of a storm in a teacup tbh.

I'm as laid back as they come and I cut up grapes.

I'd stopped doing it with older DC then after reding this I started again- tragic:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-35263396

Once they go down whole and stick, that's it. You can't get them out. Bloody terrifying.

I get very anxious about keeping my children safe

Don't let this bleed into them, though. Children feeling anxiety from their parents will pick up on it and feel it for themselves.

As an aside popcorn is also a massive choking risk. Never give to a child under 3.

Parties with uncut grapes cause me anxiety too.
And the meltdown in Tesco when I won't let him have the uncut grapes they have put out in the free fruit for kids.
Thankfully DH is worse than me when it comes to grapes

I'm a little concerned how flippant some posters are about grapes. There are several stories described and linked to about deaths from them and still people saying it's not a big deal and they don't bother. Why wouldn't you take 30 seconds to remove an entirely preventable hazard?

I have also learned I need to be more careful with sausages and popcorn, so thank you pp who mentioned those. Will adjust accordingly. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to DD if I could have easily prevented it.

How about telling kids to chew their grapes instead of swallowing them whole?

Well yup of course you drum into them to chew grapes. Bite into them not put them into your mouth whole.

You also drum it into them not to run across the road but you still hold their hands.

Agree no need for crazy grape meltdown but it doesn't take much effort to cut them up so one does!