Argument about grapes!

[mummymi]

Ok, so this will probably sound very petty!
Me and dh were already snappy with each other this morning. I said he is a hypocrite, he is forever moaning at us all for something that he will then do too.
He came back at me with 'well you are patronising, you look down on people who don't cut up grapes'
Our youngest are just 4, I have always cut up grapes for them and if they are served at a party whole I would bite them!
I'm still in a mood hours later, he apologised with 'I'm sorry if I said anything that annoyed you'
I don't know why but when he said it I got quite tearful, so I'm not ready to let it go.
Am I being unreasonable to still be in a mood

OP Does your local grip shop do a doubles model?

Clearly he knows the grape peeling/slicing/biting is a pressure point
That's what happens in arguments
You need to chill the fuck out
Especially about grapes. If you're that scared that you would peel them WTAF are they actually even in your life in anyway.
Fully crazy

Yes, but grapes are a specific risk due to their skin, which means that once they're wedged, that's that. Food that doesn't have the same make-up is much easier to smack out of a windpipe by hitting the back etc.

So you're saying that they get stuck where intervention is impossible? Goodness. I seriously didn't know that.

Did you know that OP?

Exactly that silverbell. Obviously not always impossible to get out but they are sometimes.

I've never understood why anyone would feed a child grapes without cutting or biting them, they may as well serve a bowl of marbles.

The same goes for cherry tomatoes.

@silverbell64
If she didn't then she's certifiable with her actions!!!
But I presume she did!

You called him a hypocrite, he called you patronising. I suspect he was and I can kind of see however right you are with the grapes you have made comments which are.

The question is why has it upset you do much

Honestly silver it's true. I was involved in an inquest of a child who choked on a grape and it's more common than you would think.

What? Did my eyes deceive me? You actually used to peel grapes! WOW!

My DD is quite insistent that her presented grapes remain on their vine - she then has great delight picking them individually - she is 2 btw

YANBU for judging those who don't cut grapes in half

YABU for dwelling on the argument, life is too short

I believe that there can also be a physiological response where the throat will contract around the object meaning that you can't dislodge it by slapping etc. This can be very serious obviously.

Trying to find a reference for it..

Her husband didnt say she was wrong to cut up grapes. He said she was oatronising and looked down on peoplr who dont.

Since she called him a hypocrite and has admitted that she does, in fact, judge people. I would say both insults are similar.

Op why has this upset you so much?

Did you expect him to just take the insult you threw at him, upset that deep down you know he is right and that makes you uncomfortable?

If grapes come in lunchboxes at our preschool not cut, then they get sent back with a note explaining why - I would think most parents of young children know to cut them.

Not being able to breathe and having the Heimlich manoeuvre to dislodge a grape was horrible, the thought of it happening to a child in my care gives me the fear.

Grapes should be cut, I get that now but this is not the crux of the matter in the OP's post.

Clearly it's given you the pip

Ever single primary school I have had kids at will not allow under 8's to have grapes unless they are cut

I'm so chilled out about most things but the thought of giving an 18 month to 2 year old grapes terrifies me.
But you know, horse for courses and all that.

I went to school at age 4 (Scotland). I didnt have anyone cutting up my food for me and if I had a pack lunch it had grapes from grandparents greenhouse. Uncut.

How do parents who do cut things up for their children cope when they go to school?

YANBU for cutting up grapes but why is it such a sensitive issue for you? Has something else happened?

It's crazy to be that upset hours later after an apology. It sounds a bit childish!

Its not things. Its grapes. The rest will likely dislodge without much more than a back slap or abdominal thrust.

I have no idea why anyone thinks that they need to cut fruit up for a 4 year old who has teeth
because every year a couple of young children choke to death on grapes. it is a very well known choking hazard and depending on the age of the child they should be cut up till they're 5 - 7 years old. HTH

I'd be annoyed if, despite explanation of why they are so dangerous, my husband routinely used the fact that I cut up grapes against me in an argument (he wouldn't). It would illustrate the fact that he either couldn't or wouldn't understand danger and that he would imply I was paranoid over something that is absolutely not paranoia. It's a low blow and shows an inability to risk assess. I'd still be upset.