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AIBU?

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Original poster

Argument about grapes!

111 replies

mummymi · 09/09/2017 17:09

Ok, so this will probably sound very petty!
Me and dh were already snappy with each other this morning. I said he is a hypocrite, he is forever moaning at us all for something that he will then do too.
He came back at me with 'well you are patronising, you look down on people who don't cut up grapes'
Our youngest are just 4, I have always cut up grapes for them and if they are served at a party whole I would bite them!
I'm still in a mood hours later, he apologised with 'I'm sorry if I said anything that annoyed you'
I don't know why but when he said it I got quite tearful, so I'm not ready to let it go.
Am I being unreasonable to still be in a mood Blush

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 09/09/2017 18:24

You need to teach your DC to bite them now they're four.

But aside from that, sorry you had s row and are feeling a bit sensitive.

GinIsIn · 09/09/2017 18:25

So you bite the grapes and spit them back out again?! I cut up grapes for DS but I think if the grapes in a public place were whole we'd maybe just ask for a knife or skip the grapes. Confused

Original poster
mummymi · 09/09/2017 18:26

I would bite them and give them half I don't spit them out.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/09/2017 18:27

What would you say to him after the party about it? Confused

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 09/09/2017 18:28

I would bite them and give them half I don't spit them out.

That is still gross.

NicolasFlamel · 09/09/2017 18:30

That is bizarre to do for a 4 year old. Seriously. And at least get a knife or something.

caraway33 · 09/09/2017 18:31

I don't cut up grapes or cherries for my dd, she cries and refuses when I do. She's just 18months old, it's kind of terrifying yet she seems to eat it ok and also spits seeds and pits.

GinIsIn · 09/09/2017 18:32

Where are all these parties happening where the only food is grapes and there isn't any cutlery?!

disappearingninepatch · 09/09/2017 18:32

A little boy at a local school choked on a grape and died. YANBU to cut grapes in half.

hula008 · 09/09/2017 18:33

Are you annoyed that he insinuated that you sometimes don't cut up grapes but will complain about it when someone else doesn't?

VestalVirgin · 09/09/2017 18:35

Unless your husband is a really bad hypocrite, I think you are just in a bad mood and looking for an excuse to fight.

Just don't talk to him until you feel better, I'd say. I cannot stand it when people fight over completely unimportant things.

quercuscircus · 09/09/2017 18:37

Doesn't sound like a problem to me - it owuldn;t be a stretch to think that all the excitement could cause the child not to chew and breathe properly while eating.

Anyway, the grapes are really not the issue!!

notanotherNC · 09/09/2017 18:37

I think you are crazy! Four and you bite their grape for them!!! Do you peel them too???

AlpacasPackOwls · 09/09/2017 18:37

Sounds like you have overreacted a bit.

For anyone asking about cutting up grapes or unaware you're supposed to: www.theguardian.com/society/2016/dec/20/lack-of-awareness-of-grape-choking-hazard-putting-children-at-risk-say-doctors

Nanny0gg · 09/09/2017 18:38

I don't cut up grapes or cherries for my dd, she cries and refuses when I do. She's just 18 months old, it's kind of terrifying yet she seems to eat it ok and also spits seeds and pits

Please don't give in to an 18 month old on this one. It's not worth it. Too many children have choked to death because you cannot get a grape out when it's stuck.

I bite them in half for me since the day I was in Greece on holiday, bit into one and found a maggot... was years till I could eat them again.

Groovee · 09/09/2017 18:38

I cut grapes into quarters at work as I work in a nursery.

You weren't kind to each other but it sounds like you didn't like him snapping back at you. Maybe you need to wonder why several hours later you are still hurt by it.

hazeyjane · 09/09/2017 18:39

After nearly choking on a grape when I was in my 30s, I too am a bit paranoid around grapes! I automatically chop them length ways for everyone, and my dds cut theirs as well!

Chchchchangeabout · 09/09/2017 18:40

4 and even 6 year olds have died from choking grapes. They can learn to chew on something else when they are little.

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 18:43

You can choke on a lots of things. Doesn't mean you need to cut everything into little pieces.

Worriedrose · 09/09/2017 18:48

Ffs
Grapes aren't even that nice
Everyone stop giving grapes to children!!! It's just not worth a thread on mumsnet

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 09/09/2017 18:48

Grapes are particularly dangerous:-

  1. They are the perfect size and shape to block a child's airway
  2. They are difficult for medical staff to grip with instruments if they do get stuck due to their skin.

Children's airways are funnel shaped until they are about 6 years old if not older. Grapes can easily get stuck at the 'bottom' of the funnel.

I'm pretty chilled out about most things but absolutely do cut up grapes. Am a HCP and don't know any other HCPs who wouldn't for small children.

Original poster
mummymi · 09/09/2017 18:51

@notanotherNC I actually did used to peel them!!! When they were first eating grapes. I realise now that was extreme over the top behaviour

OP posts:
silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 18:51

Cant they be squashed then or is the skin like armour?

DonkeyOaty · 09/09/2017 18:51

Silverbell a grape is exactly the size of a young child's windpipe hence cutting lengthways.

Whilst we're talking about choke hazards don't cut sausages into rounds. Slice lengthways then cut.

TrashPanda · 09/09/2017 18:53

I always half grapes for my 2yo, I don't for the 8yo anymore but it has been drilled into his that he must bite them and always be sitting down to eat them, not running around. I cut them in half at his last party though as I knew the kids would be running around and I didn't want that in my watch.

If we are at a party or in public with the little one I split the grapes with my nail and then sort of rip them in half, quite easy to do. Nicer than biting them and I just clean my hands with a baby wipe if no hand washing facilities.

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