To by upset that my husband pressured me to give him a handjob

[onecrazycook]

This morning my husband wanted sex. I've been feeling under the weather this week and just was not in the mood. It's super rare that I turn him down, but I'm just not feeling it today.

He basically got really huffy about it and demanded I give him a handjob instead, which I was also obviously not in the mood for. I said no, but this caused to to accuse my of not loving him and "not wanting to do husband and wife things" and I ended up doing it to save the argument. When it was over I was in tears and he can't understand why I was upset.

I've just let it blow over because I don't want to fight with him.

AIBU?

Thank god he settled for a hand job and his minimum was not a blow job.
By the way Do you love him? Sometimes we have to do thinds we dont want for kove

Yes, we might occasionally have to attend a social gathering we could do without, or take on more of their domestic responsibilities if they're having a particularly long week at work.
Sex, however, is something I hope I won't ever be doing when I don't want to. I certainly wouldn't want any one else doing something sexual with me when they weren't in the mood to. I can't think of much that would turn me off more than knowing my partner wasn't enjoying this.

Are you actually serious Yorkshire??!! The op absolutely shouldn't put up with it or move on cos she's married. If you would have been divorced 'thirty times' then those are massive alarm bells that you're in am abusive relationship.

Are you a man mytilini?

A single man I'm guessing with that attitude.

mytilini

No, actually you DON'T have to lie back and think of England you stupid twat! Having sex when you are made to do it is RAPE and it is not acceptable. Women have complete autonomy over their bodies and have no obligation to service their men. I suspect you are a man and an utter cunt!

Mytilini has posted equally misogynistic stuff on another thread. He or she is an idiot.

Mytilini is a rape enabler and apologist

Yorkshire the problem is, OP's husbands behaviour is not just a mistake. It shows that underlying his "good husband" exterior, he is a man who thinks that coercing a woman into sex is ok.

That should not be tolerated. Until we stand up against these actions, and the apologising comments, we will still have to deal with it.

You need to raise your bar.

He has hands....should of done it himself.

Justaboy wanking alongside an ill woman while whispering sweet nothings in her ear is equally as vile as demanding a handjob if she didn't want it. Saying nice things does not cancel out a sexual assault.

Most men would go off and have a wank in the shower out of decency and leave their wife to rest when she's not well. The ones that won't are assholes.

mytilini
What a crock of shite.
Nobody has to do anything sexual they don't want to do.

Where does your theory stop? Blow job? Sex? Oh wait a minute thats sexual assault and rape. Oh well never mind if you love them then it's ok isn't it?

Is it fuck. Educate yourself you sound like a Pratt.

there nothing he couldn't have done like a hand job on HIMSELF whilst whispering sweetening nothings in you ear over how good you normally are to him which would have made him feel OK and got rid of the tension, and it would have made you feel better too but because of his actions its now gone totally the other way

Justaboy I can't think of anything better. Are you single? Please say yes.

It's not like he has beaten the shit out of her, and poured acid on her face after shagging her mother and sister its it???

I'm not one for LTB either yorkshireyummymummy but I definitely agree that that would be grounds for unreasonable behaviour. Has anyone ever told you you're very wise?

It's not like he has beaten the shit out of her, and poured acid on her face after shagging her mother and sister its it???

The fuck is this? Seriously?

How are you feeling today OP

I'm ok. Heading home shortly and not looking forward to the conversation (probably fight) we are going to have.

I hope you're ok OP, just keep reminding yourself you did nothing wrong, he needs to be the one to apologise and seriously change his attitude towards you.

Thinking of you, OP. Don't let him blame you or invalidate your feelings. Thinking of you

This is not grounds for fighting.
He was 100% in the wrong. If he tries to argue otherwise, tell him to back his bags and leave.

Mytilini What the actual fuck is the matter with you?

Next time squeeze it hard. I bet he won't ask again.

Sometimes we have to do thinds we dont want for kove

It actually makes me very sad anyone would think this.

Nobody should ever EVER have to do anything sexual when they don't want to out of a misplaced sense of duty in return for love. Disgusting attitude

Whenever I read things like this, I'm always puzzled as to why men think that a handjob or a blowjob takes les effort than sex, for a woman who isn't feeling well/is tired/isn't in the mood. I mean, if I'm too tired for sex, I definitely don't have the energy for a handjob.