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AIBU?

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Original poster

Playground flirting (harmless or offensive)?

155 replies

PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 19:58

NC because I think at treats one of them is a mnetter Grin

Waiting in the playground for the kids to come out of school today with dh.

My good friend is in a happy relationship and can be a lighthearted cheeky flirt. One of her friends (another dad) walks by quickly and pinches her bum, she laughs and and sticks her two fingers up at him. This is how they are and it's harmless. Both in happy relationships and just very jokey. There's nothing covert or hidden about it. It's a running joke if we all go to the pub together.

Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth. I tried to explain it's just a jokey wind up thing and that he doesn't get it.

OP posts:
NoCapes · 08/09/2017 20:02

He pinched her bum!?!?! ShockHmm
Not jokey or harmless at all, that is more than flirting
At best it is massively inappropriate in a school playground - at best!

FizzyGreenWater · 08/09/2017 20:02

I have to say, I don't like it.

I think it's just bad form really. Just a bit disrespectful to their partners, and oh just a bit crass. Especially in the playground.

Not my style. I find good boundaries make for good male-female friendships. Any friendships, in fact.

DrHorribletookmycherry · 08/09/2017 20:03

Your dh sounds as though he treats you like property or doesn't trust you.
I'd be fucked off at someone punching my bum to flirt, but if your friend finds it genuinely funny that's for her.
My dh would trust me and know i could easily stand up for myself.

DrHorribletookmycherry · 08/09/2017 20:03

*pinching

BumWad · 08/09/2017 20:04

I'm with your DH

Crowdie · 08/09/2017 20:04

Oh yes, it's very harmless and jokey to pinch someone's bum... Hmm

Ffs did this guy take a wrong turn on his way to the 1970s?

EarlessToothlessVagabond · 08/09/2017 20:06

He sounds like Benny Hill at best. Or a disrespectful arsehole.

Believeitornot · 08/09/2017 20:06

A joke?!?!?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 08/09/2017 20:13

I would find it very odd if a male friend did that to me or a female friend to DH a d we are very non-possessive. It's massively crossing a boundary. Also, I would be massively unimpressed at a parent giving someone else the vs in a school playground. They both sound thoroughly immature and inappropriate

FallingOrbit · 08/09/2017 20:13

As a bloke, I'd like to share a slightly alternative perspective. I do sometimes comment on how lucky my friends are to have such beautiful partners, I do this in their company and all is taken in the spirit in which it's intended.

I'd never take it as far as touching though, I think that crosses the boundary between complimentary and funny to the don't do that zone.

BenLui · 08/09/2017 20:18

I think punching someone's bum in a school playground is deeply inappropriate and I wouldn't have much respect for either party.

On the other hand I wouldn't have much respect for DH if he threatened to punch someone for touching me either.

So a fairly unedifying scene all round.

BenLui · 08/09/2017 20:19

^^ pinching someone's bum. Though punching wouldn't be nice either obviously.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 08/09/2017 20:22

It wouldn't surprise me if they are playing up the 'banter' and shenanigans in front of people to cover up something else.

I'm not someone who thinks men and women can't be friends but I know of situation where something similar was happening. The two people involved were openly flirting with each other and the partners were made to feel like they were being 'uncool' about it because it was just banter and they weren't hiding it. It turned out they were having a fling and were using their extreme flirting to hide in plain sight.

Maybe I'm just too suspicious but I know single male and female friends who wouldn't do that type of behaviour to each other never mind married friends.

AuntLydia · 08/09/2017 20:28

Yeah, not something I'd be remotely happy about or comfortable with if it were my other half. Like Captain I also know of a similar situation which ended up with an affair and marriage break up.

However, it's not up to me or your DH to define the boundaries of what is acceptable in other people's relationships.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 20:33

I see a lot of the friend and I'm sure there's nothing more to it!

OP posts:
Fecho · 08/09/2017 20:39

Do they ever go to school with their partners?

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 20:40

Yes, all the time. Their behaviour wouldn't change.

OP posts:
TippyTinkleTrousers · 08/09/2017 20:41

Nothing more to it. Yet.

That's absolutely out of order and my DH would hit the roof if a 'friend' flirted with me to that extent.

And I certainly wouldn't be happy if a woman had her hands on my Dh.

That is absolutely below the belt. Literally and metaphorically.

WingsofNylon · 08/09/2017 20:42

So in front of children they pinch bums and swear?! Fuck that. It is just a dumb way to behave.

I don't agree that your dh should behave like he owns your body and there for can defend it in any way he wants.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 08/09/2017 20:43

YANBU. Every time I see a male friend I like to cup his genitals and give them a squeeze LOL. The banter.

FizzyGreenWater · 08/09/2017 20:47

I think it's just so cringey too. Like 'we are such cool mates, we just don't care!' on top of just looking a bit desperate to be soooo laid back about, y'know, sexeh stuff.

Grim.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 08/09/2017 20:48

They sound like a pair of absolute knobheads.

Witsender · 08/09/2017 20:48

All unreasonable. The bum pinching is a massive line crossing, and I wouldn't want my DH beating people up either.

Fecho · 08/09/2017 20:50

I think it's just so cringey too

Yes it's all look at us and how funny and cool we are. If my dp pinched someone's arse in the playground (well anywhere for that matter) I'd be well pissed off.

Beadieeye · 08/09/2017 20:52

Does being in the playground bring out their juvenile side? Pathetic.