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AIBU?

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Original poster

Playground flirting (harmless or offensive)?

155 replies

PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 19:58

NC because I think at treats one of them is a mnetter Grin

Waiting in the playground for the kids to come out of school today with dh.

My good friend is in a happy relationship and can be a lighthearted cheeky flirt. One of her friends (another dad) walks by quickly and pinches her bum, she laughs and and sticks her two fingers up at him. This is how they are and it's harmless. Both in happy relationships and just very jokey. There's nothing covert or hidden about it. It's a running joke if we all go to the pub together.

Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth. I tried to explain it's just a jokey wind up thing and that he doesn't get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 20:52

They are really lovely people but just a bit jokey. They're not nobheads.

I would never encourage things like this because if dh and his reaction. He's not exaggerating, he would and has got into fights about perceived line crossing but her dp wouldn't bat an eyelid and knows what she's like. She never has cheated. (She tells me everything )

OP posts:
Albinohedgehogs · 08/09/2017 20:53

I'm if Anyone other than DH went near my ducking bum I would deck them with my Boden handbag!

Leeds2 · 08/09/2017 20:56

I wouldn't like that at all.

And, if I did, I wouldn't think it appropriate for the playground.

AuntLydia · 08/09/2017 20:57

Yeah Pizza, we were all sure there was nothing to it! I told the aggrieved party when they first got suspicious that I was sure neither of them would betray her like that. I was painfully wrong.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 08/09/2017 20:59

They're not nobheads. They are, really... Pinching bums and swearing while standing in the schoolyard is not cool and edgy, it's very low rent.

SheldonsSpot · 08/09/2017 20:59

They're shagging each other for sure.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 08/09/2017 21:00

Now I think you are the one not getting it. Flirting by the very nature of it shouldn't be done by people who aren't single. Friendly yes - flirting no. Why would you?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 08/09/2017 21:01

God, and your DH get some into fights to defend your honour... what a bunch of charmers you are

Autumnskiesarelovely · 08/09/2017 21:01

I'm with your DH too.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:01

I wouldn't personally but really it's just them. Wing cheeky. I'll have to tell dh the internet agrees with him Grin

OP posts:
NYConcreteJungle · 08/09/2017 21:03

They are fucking and your DH needs to work on his issues.

diddl · 08/09/2017 21:05

I would find it disrespectful & inappropriate in a playground!

Would be mortified if my husband talked about someone "losing some teeth" over it though.

Neverknowing · 08/09/2017 21:12

I would hate this if I were either person here.
Surely you understand where your husband is coming from? Would you be okay with him doing this to another mum? (Genuine question)

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:13

I'd hate it because he's not a natural flirt like that.

OP posts:
conserveisposhforjam · 08/09/2017 21:14

As a bloke, I'd like to share aslightlyalternative perspective. I do sometimescommenton how lucky my friends are to have such beautiful partners, I do this in their company and all is taken in the spirit in which it's intended.

I just vomited a bit a lot in my mouth...

BenLui · 08/09/2017 21:17

"He knows what she's like" means he's putting up with it, it doesn't mean it isn't bad behaviour.

What does the wife of the pincher think of it? I bet she's really proud of her husband, groping another woman in front of children.

I would argue the "I couldn't behave that way because of my DH's behaviour" Confused.

Why not "I wouldn't allow anyone to grope me because I have more self respect"?

It's not cheeky and jokey. It's juvenile and rather grubby.

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2017 21:17

What I find bizarre is that people think it's any business of the partners. It is outrageous for a man to pinch a woman's bum regardless of their relationship. Or absence of one.

Seeingadistance · 08/09/2017 21:17

I wouldn't like anyone to pinch my bum, but if the man and woman concerned are long-standing friends, and their partners are cool with it, then I don't really think it's such a big deal, tbh.

What I do find offensive is the idea that anyone who pinched your bum would be losing teeth! Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm thinking that it's not you, but your DH who be doing the punching out of the teeth?!

That's a horrible and violent attitude - don't you touch my woman/my property!

RhubardGin · 08/09/2017 21:20

Completely inappropriate and I don't believe his wife/her husband are ok with it.

If my DP pinched a woman's bum I would be furious, he would feel the same if another man touched me this way.

It's intimate, not funny or playful at all if it's not your OH.

Sorry to be a party pooper but I'm surprised you think it's harmless fun Confused

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:21

Thanks seeing you're first bit sums up how I felt about seeing it and knowing what they're like.

Yes it would be dh doing the punching! I've never even slapped a person before!!

OP posts:
ClemDanfango · 08/09/2017 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:23

Lol! That's what dh said when I was trying to explain its all fine Grin

OP posts:
Sara107 · 08/09/2017 21:23

Whatever about an adult meet up at the pub, when you're dropping your kids off at school is not the time of the place for flirting, banter, bottom pinching, two finger gestures etc. Knocking people's teeth out also not a great response! I think you all need to grow up a bit and stop behaving like 14 year olds at the school gate.

TurnipCake · 08/09/2017 21:28

God they sound pathetic

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 08/09/2017 21:28

Who the F flirts in the school playground?

I'm sure there must be a parallel universe which contains many MN'ers playgrounds.

Ours is dull, dull, dull. A few conversations about swimming lessons & holidays. I've never even heard a book band or SATS result openly discussed, bum pinching would induce collective heart failure.