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AIBU?

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Original poster

Playground flirting (harmless or offensive)?

155 replies

PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 19:58

NC because I think at treats one of them is a mnetter Grin

Waiting in the playground for the kids to come out of school today with dh.

My good friend is in a happy relationship and can be a lighthearted cheeky flirt. One of her friends (another dad) walks by quickly and pinches her bum, she laughs and and sticks her two fingers up at him. This is how they are and it's harmless. Both in happy relationships and just very jokey. There's nothing covert or hidden about it. It's a running joke if we all go to the pub together.

Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth. I tried to explain it's just a jokey wind up thing and that he doesn't get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 09/09/2017 08:38

We're not 'Jeremy Kyle' fodder at all Grin

I think maybe we've got a slightly different sense of humour to the mn population though.

Dh doesn't get into fights anymore. He's grown up and I'd never put myself in a position where I was joke flirting with someone because I know what he's like and that he'd be sensitive about it.

Anyway this thread has been an eye opener!

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 09/09/2017 08:40

I think maybe we've got a slightly different sense of humour to the mn population though

I'm one of those really irritating people who likes their humour to have even a modicum of amusing content.

Smeaton · 09/09/2017 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shnazzyshot · 09/09/2017 08:42

Op, that's the sort of joke me and my friends would have too, so I totally get it. Although my DH doesn't have that sense of humour so would probably react the same way yours did.

Probably Wouldn't do it in the school playground though. Grin

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2017 08:43

"Dh doesn't get into fights anymore. He's grown up and I'd never put myself in a position where I was joke flirting with someone because I know what he's like and that he'd be sensitive about it."

So you're modifying your behaviour so he won't thump someone?

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 09/09/2017 09:00

I think everyone modifys their behaviour a bit without compromising who they are. I'm not a natural flirt anyway!

OP posts:
Smeaton · 09/09/2017 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shnazzyshot · 09/09/2017 09:04

Of course they do op. I don't believe anyone who says they don't.

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2017 09:06

"I think everyone modifys their behaviour a bit without compromising who they are."

Of corse they do. Not usually because they think someone will "lose some teeth" if they don't, though.

RhubardGin · 09/09/2017 09:15

So seem weirdly defensive and of this behaviour.

Are you the woman getting your bum pinched??

This is starting to sound like a reverse.

RhubardGin · 09/09/2017 09:16

You seem*

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 09/09/2017 09:29

No not a reverse but I put a lot of effort into trying to convince dh he was being uptight and most people would be fine with it last night and AIBU has told me otherwise!

OP posts:
pilates · 09/09/2017 09:42

YABU

Not appropriate behaviour for both of them. Just because your friend and the other dad are in a school playground, you don't revert back to pubescent behaviour.

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2017 09:51

Most people would not be fine with it, but not for your dp's Neanderthal reasons.

PollytheDoily · 09/09/2017 09:53

I wouldn't like it, my DH wouldn't like it. I would like it if my DH did it either. It's really disrespectful to all parties. And as for being in a playground..... Hmm

PollytheDoily · 09/09/2017 09:53

Wouldn't!

WomblingThree · 09/09/2017 09:57

There's a huge difference between not being fine with it and going round thumping people.

As I said before, you seem to revel in your big strong partner who is ready to race to your defence. Just be careful you don't get in the way of his fists. I'd rather have a husband who thinks I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself than one that is likely to go round punching people for looking at me wrong.

x2boys · 09/09/2017 09:58

I might pinch my husband's bum but thats it and not in a school play ground I wouldn't dream of pinching anybody else's bum

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 09/09/2017 11:08

Most people would not be fine with it, but not for your dp's Neanderthal reasons. Yes see Toad's post

Toadinthehole

If a man pinched my DW's arse I wouldn't be at all impressed

I'd be unimpressed because I'd expect my DW to police her own boundaries and put a stop to it

I don't own my DW.

If she declined to stop it, it would be her I'd be having words with, not the man

It it was a case of assault she would of course have my full support in whatever actions she thought necessary.

FallingOrbit · 09/09/2017 20:07

Could you make it sound anymore like your friends partners are their property?!

Oh give over you oversensitive plonker. At NO point did I say or even insinuate any such thing - get a grip.

conserveisposhforjam · 10/09/2017 09:03

got themselves a cracker

You really can't see it? Really? No?

OK then...

Peanutbuttercheese · 10/09/2017 09:12

It's not regular flirting at all it's up a fair few notches and the fact that it's in a playground and dc and their own dc may see this, eurgghh.

Shumpalumpa · 10/09/2017 09:20

He's not exaggerating, he would and has got into fights about perceived line crossing

And a bit later

Dh doesn't get into fights anymore. He's grown up

So which is it OP? Sounds like you're backtracking because his neanderthal behaviour didn't impress anyone.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 10/09/2017 09:35

I wasn't expecting his 'Neanderthal' behaviour to impress anyone. It doesn't impress me!

He doesn't get into fights anymore and I hope that's permanent but I guess something like this would push him over the edge seeing as he said what he did.

OP posts:
FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 12:00

You really can't see it? Really? No?

Correct. No, I don't see it. It's no different to a woman using the phrase "ooh, he's a keeper!" or similar and I've heard that a LOT from women to their friends about their partners. And so have you.

You already know what the real sentiment is behind something like "She's a cracker" but you're going to pretend you don't in a bid to try to make it sound like something it isn't.