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Original poster

Playground flirting (harmless or offensive)?

155 replies

PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 19:58

NC because I think at treats one of them is a mnetter Grin

Waiting in the playground for the kids to come out of school today with dh.

My good friend is in a happy relationship and can be a lighthearted cheeky flirt. One of her friends (another dad) walks by quickly and pinches her bum, she laughs and and sticks her two fingers up at him. This is how they are and it's harmless. Both in happy relationships and just very jokey. There's nothing covert or hidden about it. It's a running joke if we all go to the pub together.

Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth. I tried to explain it's just a jokey wind up thing and that he doesn't get it.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 10/09/2017 13:17

Keeper•nice kind thoughtful person
Cracker=good looking sexy person.

FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 13:22

Bertrand

You certainly could define the terms like that, and I don't see anything wrong with either, do you? You could also define them differently and in the spirit in which they're clearly intended I don't see the issue.

BTW how's your teapot?! (Assuming that's not actually your name and therefore you'll know what I'm on about!)

gamerwidow · 10/09/2017 13:25

They are nob heads rather than nice people. This goes beyond jokey flirting and is absolutely not appropriate for a school playground.
Touching someone you are not in a relationship with in this way is not ok I'd be so upset if DH did this to anyone.

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 13:30

Oh give over you oversensitive plonker. At NO point did I say or even insinuate any such thing - get a grip

Uh huh "got themselves a cracker" yep. No insinuation at all.

At least have the courage of your sentiments instead of being one of those tiresome dullards who hide behind "I didn't mean that at aaaaaalll"

And no. I have never used the phrase "he's a keeper" because that also insinuates a partner is property.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 10/09/2017 13:32

If someone did that to me I'd punch them myself. It's completely inappropriate when in a relationship and in a playground setting. Really not funny at all. I'd cringe foe them if I seen other parents going on like that to be honest.

EamonnWright · 10/09/2017 13:34

Have to agree with your husband, if someone grabbed my partners arse, joking or not, he'd be getting a good slap!

Cheeky Bastard!

FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 13:55

And no. I have never used the phrase "he's a keeper" because that also insinuates a partner is property

Well fucking bully for you! You've not heard of a little thing called context then? You realise words don't have intrinsic meaning don't you? They have useages - it's pretty damned obvious that someone saying "He's a keeper" doesn't mean it in the literal sense as in PROPERTY and anyone who takes it that way is, frankly - a fucking imbecile.

And no, I'm not pulling the "I didn't mean thaaaaat" card at all, if you're incapable of interpreting a pretty well known quip then poor you.

What if you get a new haircut and I say "ooh I love your new haircut"

Does that mean I literally LOVE your new haircut? As in I have a strong physical and emotional attachment to it? Of course it doesn't.

You know exactly what is meant by it, but membership of the "I'll pretend otherwise because I can't admit I'm talking shit" club is free for the first six months.

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 14:01

Oh bless you Orbit. We're creased here at that post. I had to send it to my OH.

Won't post his response 😂

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 14:05

I will admit I am a tad confused as to which phrase you used is a "quip" given the whole point of a quip is the witticism.

And nothing in your post is....

DecisionTree · 10/09/2017 14:05

Classy behaviour outside a school

ILoveMillhousesDad · 10/09/2017 14:08

Seems I'm in the minority but I've got male friends I joke-flirt with, including physical stuff, some have even squeezed my boobs (totally consensually!) and we hug a lot. It is harmless because we don't fancy each other and there's nothing to it other than silly banter

Ahhh there's the word. 'Banter'

So you like having your tits squeezed by male friends? How odd. But hey, it's just 'banter'

FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 14:10

Oh bless you Orbit. We're creased here at that post. I had to send it to my OH

Well you've really shot my argument down in flames there haven't you? Gosh I feel so silly now, after absorbing your thorough deconstruction of my position...

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 14:23

Gosh I feel so silly now, after absorbing your thorough deconstruction of my position

We're still waiting for you to confirm what phrase in your post was a quip to be honest.

Can only suppose that due to the lack of humourous content in any of your posts my intial analysis was correct.

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 14:27

Ahhh there's the word. 'Banter'

People who indulge in "banter" are just awful - they're the type of people who think they're amusing and expect everyone to laugh in awe at their puerile humour which is usually designed to be cruel to someone else.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 10/09/2017 14:30

Perfectly described 'jaques'

Anyone who uses that word seriously - well I wouldn't be friends with them.

FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 14:39

Jaques

Sure I'll agree that quip is the wrong word, but the fact that you're focusing so heavily on one word out of the entire post is telling.
What word shall we use instead? What shall we call it? A term? A Sentence? A phrase? I really don't mind because it's hardly relevant.

Setting aside whether you frown upon such terminology or not, are you seriously, genuinely telling me you're unaware of what is actually meant when someone says such a thing?

You might not ever use such a (insert preferred term) your self, but you surely have heard someone say it to someone else about their partner. Surely. I'd find it hard to believe you haven't.

Quick scenario - you're doing whatever with a few of your friends, one of them has a new partner who turns up for whatever reason, one of your friends gives an approving nod and says "ooh he's a keeper!" - what's your reaction? Do you just accept that it's meant as a compliment or do you blow a gasket and start raving on about slavery?

BertrandRussell · 10/09/2017 14:39

First time I've heard squeezing boobs being described as "banter". Do the women in the group grab the men's balls in the spirit of "banter" too?

slothface · 10/09/2017 14:43

Feel I should clarify the boob-squeezing was within the context of a conversation, initiated by me, about my boobs and them having shrunk due to me losing weight. I invited him to have a squeeze! It was one incredibly trivial incident that people are assuming is far more sinister than it is. My friendship group is mixed men and women and we're all very open with talking about sex/boobs/whatever, there are no adulterous or lecherous undertones

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 14:44

It isn't telling - it changed the meaning of your post - I was looking for humour that (quite obviously) wasn't there. Had you used "phrase" there wouldn't have been the issue.

Of course I know what is meant, I just don't agree with the use - is that SO difficult to understand.

Quick scenario - you're doing whatever with a few of your friends, one of them has a new partner who turns up for whatever reason, one of your friends gives an approving nod and says "ooh he's a keeper!" - what's your reaction? Do you just accept that it's meant as a compliment or do you blow a gasket and start raving on about slavery

Given as most people my friends are like-minded people the scenario wouldn't arise. We might use phrases such as "they seem lovely" etc.

I can honestly say I have never in real life heard anyone say "he's a keeper". It seems like the type of phrase that would be over-used in poorly written fiction

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 10/09/2017 14:47

To be fair "he's a keeper" gets tons of usage on MN.

Personally I find it very irritating (although not as irritating as the ridiculously over-used "no one batted an eye-lid")

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 10/09/2017 14:48

I can honestly say I have never in real life heard anyone say "he's a keeper". It seems like the type of phrase that would be over-used in poorly written fiction

Oh dear. I suggest you use the forum search function.

BertrandRussell · 10/09/2017 14:50

Keeper is about what sort of person he is. Cracker is about physical appearance.

FallingOrbit · 10/09/2017 14:56

I was looking for humour that (quite obviously) wasn't there

Yet you "creased" anyway - strange.

Of course I know what is meant, I just don't agree with the use - is that SO difficult to understand

No, not at all difficult to understand, no one said you have to agree with the use of it. The issue is that you claimed to think saying such a thing was referring to the person as PROPERTY. Now you're saying of course you know what is meant by it. You can't argue both ways at the same time. Either you know what is meant, and therefore it shouldn't be an issue, or you think it's a reference to someone being PROPERTY. Is that so difficult to understand?

We might use phrases such as "they seem lovely" etc

The sentiment is the same. Different wording, same meaning.

Maybe you've never heard it said, but I have - often. And I've been the one saying it (and other similar phrases) and never, not even once has it been any kind of issue.

conserveisposhforjam · 10/09/2017 15:06

Some most women don't like their physical attributes being analysed and commented on by their husband's creepy mates. Even those women who smile and say they are fine with it. But I doubt you give any kind of shit what women think falling, because if you did you wouldn't use the word 'cracker'.

HTH

JacquesHammer · 10/09/2017 15:11

Oh dear FallingOrbit - you're struggling with the most basic of forum usage aren't you.

There was NO humour in your first post. Your lengthy and verbose (presumably in the hope of looking more erudite) was laughable ergo my post stating we were creased. Hope that helps.

And I've been the one saying it

Yes doesn't surprise me at all.