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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Playground flirting (harmless or offensive)?

155 replies

PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 19:58

NC because I think at treats one of them is a mnetter Grin

Waiting in the playground for the kids to come out of school today with dh.

My good friend is in a happy relationship and can be a lighthearted cheeky flirt. One of her friends (another dad) walks by quickly and pinches her bum, she laughs and and sticks her two fingers up at him. This is how they are and it's harmless. Both in happy relationships and just very jokey. There's nothing covert or hidden about it. It's a running joke if we all go to the pub together.

Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth. I tried to explain it's just a jokey wind up thing and that he doesn't get it.

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 08/09/2017 21:28

Well, all I can say is I'd be pretty pissed off if my DH was pinching another woman's bum. I also think the school playground is a really inappropriate place for it.

Mittens1969 · 08/09/2017 21:35

Totally inappropriate for a school playground imo. It's definitely not harmless. But the OP's comment is also well out of line, and very possessive. Unpleasant all round.

WomblingThree · 08/09/2017 21:35

I actually think that you like the idea of your DH "defending your honour". I think it's grim. Men who are always looking for an excuse to hit someone don't tend to be particularly selective about their victims.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:38

I'm pretty sure his wife finds it funny too.
How did you get that wombling?
I think it's the behaviour of a hormonal teenager not a fully grown man.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 08/09/2017 21:41

"Anyway Dh is shocked and keeps bringing it up saying that if someone tried that on me they'd be loosing some teeth"

Is he a Neanderthal arse in other ways?

dollydaydream114 · 08/09/2017 21:44

If my DP had a friendship that involved a woman regularly touching his bum (or vice versa) I'd be furious. That isn't 'flirting' in my book. Joke flirting is fine but if they were pinching each other's bums it would bother me just as much as if they were snogging, if I'm being honest. I'd feel humiliated that it was all going on in front of our friends too. Completely out of order.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 08/09/2017 21:45

Bet you regret posting this OP Grin

ILoveMillhousesDad · 08/09/2017 21:46

You all sound bloody ridiculous. Are you all the kids in school. Pinching bums, sticking two fingers up, punching peoples 'teef in if dey try dat wiv my bird'

Do you all go to Grange Hill?

JackietheBackie · 08/09/2017 21:47

It's pretty poor behaviour to be pinching arses and flipping people off in a school playground. it isn't the pub. And honestly, the last bloke who pinched my arse got a slap across the face. From me. And a stern warning not to touch me ever again without specific invitation.

Original poster
PizzaHerbs · 08/09/2017 21:48

Well I'm a bit surprised stop Grin but some of the responses have made me giggle!

He's got a few traits he needs to work on bertrand but he's a goodun really.

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 08/09/2017 21:49

It is outrageous for a man to pinch a woman's bum regardless of their relationship.

Well, unless they were actually a couple, presumably. I'm more than happy for my own DP to pinch my bum Blush

EternalOptimistToo · 08/09/2017 21:50

Well look at this another way.
They are doing that in front of adults that know nothing about the jockey ways. What do they think those people will think?

Then move one form the adults, they are doing that in front of primary age children. What do they think they are teaching the children re respect of other people, how to behave when in a relationhsip etc etc?

And then, if they were out and about and saw a guy doing that to a woman who is clearly not their girlfriend. Would they find that normal, acceptable?

Tbh i would have an issue with anyone who would find that those last two points OK. There is a reason why this is normally considered rude and inappropriate....

EternalOptimistToo · 08/09/2017 21:52

A man who shows such a total lack of respect for women isn't a 'goodun'. Sorry.

And a woman who takes that as some sort of compliment as lost her common sense.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/09/2017 21:53

They're shagging for sure,'in plain sight' and all that. They are nob heads.

RoderickRules · 08/09/2017 21:54

FallingOrbit
Thanks for contributing your off beam perspective there.

I would tell you to fuck off the same way.

dollydaydream114 · 08/09/2017 21:55

He's not exaggerating, he would and has got into fights about perceived line crossing

Oh, only just seen this update.

Your friends' behaviour is horrible but your DH is an absolute arsehole I'm afraid. Fights? Over 'perceived' line crossing? Absolutely foul, sorry. And dangerous.

Fatrascals · 08/09/2017 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at request of author

Fatrascals · 08/09/2017 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at request of author

Maelstrop · 08/09/2017 21:57

I have a male friend at work and we're very jokey, but if he ever touched me like that, I'd knock him flat! My DH would be furious and I would never dream of putting him in that position. I just think it's highly inappropriate.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 08/09/2017 22:00

It's Friday night OP people get angrier Grin
WineWineWine

Mittens1969 · 08/09/2017 22:05

You don't seem to get how juvenile this all is, OP, and embarrassing. I'd be completely mortified.

Twitchingdog · 08/09/2017 22:13

I do think you do smells something between your mates .
But the reason he knows what he smelling is that he is/or has in past cheated .

NataliaOsipova · 08/09/2017 22:15

I'll be accused of sitting on the fence here, but I don't think it's possible to judge this kind of thing in the abstract and if you don't know the actual people involved.

Iwantamarshmallow · 08/09/2017 22:21

I wonder if their partners would agree it's harmless. I agree with your dh it's not appropriate and I would be devastated if my dp behaved in that way.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 08/09/2017 22:25

He's teaching his kids that pinching random arses in the playground is fun. Go-him.