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AIBU?

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Original poster

New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

353 replies

Creambun2 · 08/09/2017 17:17

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next Grin

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

OP posts:
marymoosmum · 09/09/2017 18:09

My Dad is a freemason. It is mainly about charity and helping others but people have a very bleak view of them. Wonderful bunch of men. The ladies night is basically just a meal that the ladies are invited too, they do a raffles to raise money for charity.

Tapandgo · 09/09/2017 18:24

The Orange Lodge may now be open to all religions
Oh jeez - like the Nazi party was open to Jews!

TheDodgyShoesOfDrFoster · 09/09/2017 18:26

Agh, the whole "what about the Girl Guides/ W?" posts are driving me mad!!

Do men or women hold the majority of real positions of power, influence, and wealth in the world?

Oh, men!

Right, then, can you see why the Girl Guides and a secret society for powerful men in business, that does not admit women (but allows the girls to have their own little lesser equivalent society) might not have quite the same significance?

(Clue: it's similar to the reason that there is no need for a "National White Police Association", and why that that would be quite sinister; whereas the "National Black Police Assocation" is both legitimate and needed... )

TheDodgyShoesOfDrFoster · 09/09/2017 18:29

Apologies; that should say "WI"

marymoosmum · 09/09/2017 18:38

Actually there is a woman's freemasons.

marymoosmum · 09/09/2017 18:38

Actually there is a woman's freemasons.

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 09/09/2017 18:49

some people should stop googling Freemasons 😂 The shit they are coming up with is hysterical! . I'm off to tell my dad how he's currently ruling the country with Stu from Tescos and Gareth the Bingo Caller! You're all in safe hands guys! They are good men! And I swear they had nothing to do with Trump, Brexit and the weird pyramid alien base in the Antarctic!

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 09/09/2017 18:49

Actually, I can't guarantee the alien base. Sounds like something they'd do.

Tapandgo · 09/09/2017 19:37

There is a lot of naive comments on Freemasonry on here.
There are reasons why some professions and public posts prohibit membership.
There are reasons why certain 'top jobs' went only to masons and why some government investigations were launched in to the outcome of certain trials and political decisions when it found top police officers and judges were Freemasons.
Yes - there are the local Freemasons lodges with the annual 'women's nights' (gawd!) who raise funds for good causes, but there levels above that when there is a lot more sinister and damaging liaisons taking place.

AlphaStation · 09/09/2017 19:52

This has really turned into a long thread. Guess Tap-and-go has a point. As for me, I only know what I've been able to scoop up on Google and by reading Peter Wrights notorious book some few years ago, where he speaks about his dad being a mason, some special handshake to recognize if you were in the "club" or not, and that his dad had recommended him joining the "club" to secure his career prospects (as they were).

Tapandgo · 09/09/2017 20:10

"Granted, some Masonic lodges may provide great service to the community. Nevertheless, when a Catholic understands this group’s history, religious pretense, anti-Catholic bias, and violence against the church, no serious Catholic can justify joining Freemasonry"

The official Catholic line.

Granted the Catholic Church has a lot to answer for when it comes to rituals, behaviour and allegiances - but Catholics are not meant to be Freemasons. (but it probably reveals the 'level' or 'degree' these 'freemasons' are involved in - or what they know about Freemasonry above the social activity.

NorksAkimbo72 · 09/09/2017 20:20

My DH is a member...has been for a few years. Yes, it is a 'men's only' club, but that was part of the appeal for him...he doesn't have many guy friends aside from my friends' husbands, so it was a way for him to cultivate his own friendships. We've been to a number of social events, and I get on really well with the blokes he's become friends with. The wives and partners have a meal.out together every few months, there is always plenty of good food and wine, and it's always a laugh. There isn't anything dodgy or corrupt...DH's lodge does a fair bit of fundraising for charity, some retired members do community service, and they are wonderful to members when someone is poorly, or if a partner passes away.
The rituals are a bit weird, DH says, but nothing outrageous, just a bit silly...so I'm pretty sure he's not been inducted into a cult or anything! Also, there are a few gay members, and the only reason there aren't many POC is because of where we live (Lily white).

Twitchingdog · 09/09/2017 20:22

I love we have has not one single mason come on here and defend themselves.
Lots of wife and daughter who don't have a clue what goes on. And love going to ladies night where they a present and be sung too. And where they can buy a new frock.

I hate to tell you just you are happy for husband or dad to go out on piss and few times a week were you are not allowed to go .

I think you think if your husband would like it if you when out once a week and they were not allowed to come.

I don't many people would be happy that their partner spends family money some where his family are not allowed to go.

NorksAkimbo72 · 09/09/2017 20:28

The meetings are ince a month, and include a nice meal plus drinks, so I'd hardly call it a weekly piss up, Twitchingdog. And yes...i go out at least once a month with my women friends, plus a monthly all female book club which I attend...so why would I have a problem with my husband attending a monthly thing with people he genuinely likes?

FlyingGiraffeBox · 09/09/2017 20:31

Twitchingdog My Dh isn't a mason. But he goes out without me. And I go out without him (with friends, and no he's not allowed to come!)

Do you and your OH go everywhere together? How tedious. And there are plenty of threads on here with Dh's/p's who spend family money on their 'hobby', which is purely their thing, what's the difference?

Just because someone has a partner and family does not mean they become subsumed into a collective and aren't allowed their own lives or pastimes any more. Goes for men and women.

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 20:34

I personally find it a pretty daft thing. Was helping my sister move stuff from one wardrobe to another and came across a briefcase, i asked what was in it, she told me it was his "private" mason things... err really. i watched the programme recently (an inside documentary) and found it even dafter to be honest. would i date a bloke in the masons, no. but there's nothing sinister to it.

FaveNumberIs2 · 09/09/2017 20:34

You have to be an honest, decent member of society, backed up by two other masons in order to join the masons. You've got a keeper there.

My hubs is one.

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 20:35

But there again I wouldn't want to join the WI.

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 20:39

Its definitely steeped in mysogyny and a "boys club" but then so is religion.

Sister actually looks up to him because he's in "it".

Not my cup of tea and i would burst out laughing is a bloke told me he was a mason.

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 20:40

*if

GrapesAreMyJam · 09/09/2017 20:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Tapandgo · 09/09/2017 20:46

From The Independent 2014

Concerns over the influence of freemasons on the criminal justice system in 1998 led former Home Secretary Jack Straw to order that all police officers and judges should declare membership of the organisation.However, ten of Britain’s 43 police forces refused to take part and the policy was dropped under threat of legal action. In England and Wales, the Grand Master of the Freemasons is Prince Edward, Duke of Kent. The United Grand Lodge of England declined to comment. The Independent revealed last week that Operation Tiberius found that organised crime syndicates such were able to infiltrate the Met “at will”

Comparisons with Freemasonry and the WI are laughable, and only allow corruption to go unchallenged. There are degrees of Masonry, and most 'Freemasons doing charity work and having an annual wives night' get nowhere near the degrees of serious and corrupting influence, but they do provide a useful diversion for it.

RuthW · 09/09/2017 21:05

I go to WI, my partner goes to masons. It's the same sort of thing. Ladies nights are a good night out.

Tapandgo · 09/09/2017 21:28

WI members don't take oaths that swear allegiance above other allegiances (hence the conflict of loyalties for members of law enforcement agencies, judiciary, armed forces, and politicians. WI don't signal their membership with strange handshakes and coded conversations. WI membership lists aren't secret. WI hasn't been subject to Parliamentary Enquiry. Religious groups don't prohibit membership of the WI.
Either you know very little about Freemasonry as it really is - or your husband is at a very 'social' level and nothing more.
(Or he is keeping you in the dark of course)

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 21:32

I think its a bit wanky, same way I think the WI is a bit pearl clutching.