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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

353 replies

Creambun2 · 08/09/2017 17:17

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next Grin

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 09/09/2017 14:20

"I know what the symbolism of the gloves and lambskin apron means (clean hands and pure heart)"

No, apron is not "pure heart".

What seems to be so stupid about people wearing white gloves during their meetings to remind themselves of the ideal/expectation of clean hands (symbolically)?

Littlecaf · 09/09/2017 14:25

www.thewi.org.uk/faqs/i-cant-believe-that-in-this-day-and-age-the-wi-is-allowed-to-have-only-female-members-have-men-ever-demanded-their-right-to-join

Link to the issue regarding men and the WI. In theory if the membership wanted men to join, they could allow it.

A two minute comparison of the WI website and the Freemasons has taught me more about the WI it's aims, constitution, charitable status, women only membership, history, courses etc than the Freemasons website which is 90% pictures of white men, and a form to fill in if you wanted to join. Not really open & inclusive.

Maybe the Freemasons should look at their public reputation and openness if they want to come across as a charity organisation for all.

Food for thought?

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 09/09/2017 14:38

My dad was a Freemason, he isn't the least bit like a lot of you are accusing and neither are his friends who I have met on many occasions. Some of the (uneducated) views of Freemasons on here is quite hurtful as my dad is a wonderful man. To label all Freemasons as being racist/sexist/weird is to label all feminists as being man haters. OP, if you like him, why let this stop you?
The songs and ritual of Freemasonry may seem a bit odd to new comers but it's just part of their history.
Don't listen to the hysterics of some posters and make your own mind up.

Lessstressedhemum · 09/09/2017 14:40

Freemasonry is not the Orange Order. Where I live, many people are embers of both but they are very different organisations. My understanding is that it's not the Masons theatre anti Catholic, but the Catholic Church that is anti masons. Historically, I think in the late C18, banned Roman Catholics from joining the masons because freemasonry wasn't compatible with Roman catholicism.

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 09/09/2017 14:51

And making fun of their clothing....really? Hmm it's quite pathetic. A totally immature cheap shot, I'm embarrassed for you.
Lots of religions/cultures/groups have ritualistic clothing or uniforms.

SylviaPoe · 09/09/2017 15:00

'To label all Freemasons as being racist/sexist/weird is to label all feminists as being man haters.'

Feminists are people who support women having rights. How on earth is that equivalent to being in the Freemasons?

It's not like feminists have a documented history of plotting a cover up of the Titanic or corrupting the urban planning process. It isn't due to feminism that the police have had to pay out huge sums to innocent people who have been fitted up by corrupt police officers and their friends.

GrapesAreMyJam · 09/09/2017 15:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ourkidmolly · 09/09/2017 15:16

They'll always be people on here who'll defend anything and point to a black or gay person that they're related to or know who's apparently high up in a lodge. As cote says, go and look for yourself. I have looked extensively at lodges in London, Herts, Bristol, Leeds and at the school in Ricksmansworth and I stand by every word in my initial statement. Corruption is rife and charity is mostly to benefit themselves and family members.

BoysofMelody · 09/09/2017 15:22

What seems to be so stupid about people wearing white gloves during their meetings to remind themselves of the ideal/expectation of clean hands (symbolically)?

Everything, when said hands are grubby as hell and their fingers as in every pie going.

SylviaPoe · 09/09/2017 15:26

It's not a few shitty ones though. There is a recorded history at least throughout the last hundred years of major organised corruption carried out by the Freemasons.

And it's not a faith either, so there isn't even a faith based justification for belonging to it.

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 09/09/2017 15:30

I went to one and found it slightly odd - there were a number of toasts to the ladies and they were sung. I think it felt a bit church like. The lady of the current head mason was given a necklace as a gift and it was passed around each table for everyone to admire individually. I just found it a bit odd.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/09/2017 15:37

I wonder if all the posters banging on about how awful the masons are and how they wouldn't touch one with a barge pole and to avoid them like the plague are the same ones from the deleted butter bean thread frothing and spitting about how disgusting they are and how they would make them vomit on the spot Wink

TimingIsEverything · 09/09/2017 15:49

Huh? A thread on BUTTER BEANS turned into a bunfight?! ShockGrin

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/09/2017 15:54

Nope Dame. My first comment was very tempered - oh well, lesson learnt etc. I commented again on how disgusted I was by how the op described the 10 yo girl. However I didn't say anything nasty to her. There again, I'm not into AIBU fighting.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 09/09/2017 16:27

There is also the question of weather a certain individual, who carried out a massacre in a school, was protected and enabled by his membership of the freemasons..but we'll have to wait a hundred years to find out!

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 09/09/2017 16:42

Zoffod Even if he was, what has that go to do with anything?Confused

SylviaPoe · 09/09/2017 16:48

It would be more evidence that masonic lodges were corrupt, although more evidence really isn't needed. There are enough proven examples.

GrapesAreMyJam · 09/09/2017 16:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

worridmum · 09/09/2017 17:08

Is there evidence that the WI are not also corrupt? i certinally know of places were they do manuplaite employment by employing members over non member etc?

How is that any different? is it because its not male only?

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 09/09/2017 17:13

Well, I expect that is what Zof is getting at, but being a member of a group, then committing mass murder, does not mean the group was corrupt. He was definitely a leader of the Boys Brigade, do we conclude they are corrupt?

silverbell64 · 09/09/2017 17:18

Corrupt? So were many religions, if we're talking years ago. Sisters husband is a mason, whilst I think it's a bit pathetic, I've never heard of any corrupt goings on in there.

s30pswjh · 09/09/2017 17:30

Been to a lot of ladies nights, husband is a Mason, good night out, all the ladies get a gift and it's a good excuse for a posh new frock.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 09/09/2017 17:33

I love a Masonic ladies night! Chance to put on evening dress and gave a lovely night out. Haven't been to one for quite some time now unfortunately.

mostmoisturised · 09/09/2017 17:44

Very easy to take the piss, but all I can see of freemasonry is a getting together of likeminded people (usually men but there are some women's groups). They often give money to local charities and have a ladies/partners night once a year or so to thank them for putting up with evenings on their own. There is usually a present for all partners, usually chosen by the senior person's lady.

Don't ask me how I know.

exaltedwombat · 09/09/2017 17:46

I have contact with several Masonic lodges. Yes, it's a boys club with some odd rituals, but nothing to worry about. I know non-white and gay masons. You have to pretend belief in a God, but not particularly a Christian one.