To think if a boy hits my daughter then yes it is different to if a girl does

[ouchthathurtsabit]

Preparing to be flamed as this is a controversial issue.

I'm a mum of a girl and 2 boys. My daughter came home with a red mark on her face saying that a boy- known for hurting others- had punched her in the face because she had gone in front of him in the queue. The boy was spoken to and it was dealt with. The children are 8 and in year 3.

So I spoke to the teacher and said I was glad it was dealt with and that I was sure my daughter would be fine but it would probably be helpful for this boy to know that it's unacceptable to hurt or hit anyone but that hitting a girl in the face is really not acceptable.

The teacher then had a massive rant at me saying that there is absolutely no difference and that's a very dangerous thing to be teaching children and it would not be an appropriate thing to say in school.

Whist I do understand what she was tryouts g to say, I do try and explain to my boys that In our society, no matter what age you are, if you hit a female then it is completely unacceptable and that no matter what a girl does or says to you then if you respond with physical violence then it's not acceptable. Males are generally bigger and stronger. Am I completely wrong in thinking at 8 years old this could be mentioned? Because I don't know! I know if one of my boys hit a girl in the face I would be a tiny bit more mortified than if it was a girl

I could possibly wonder if the posters trying to suppress the absolute idiocy of those stats at the same time as questioning the comprehension skills of anyone who challenges them were in fact... male?

Which 'certain people' do you have 'extra awareness of' lualu?

Gotta anyone who makes wide ranging assumptions that have been picked out of thin air with no evidence to back up said assertions is probably a bit dim to be honest

It was a bloody observation based on comments by people like you on here suggesting a little boy hitting a little girl is more serious than if he hits a boy. Nothing was plucked from thin air. Read the bloody thread!!
You can't understand what you are reading. You don't pay attention. THAT is the sign of an idiot.
If you are not obnoxious and ignorant then stop trying to prove you are so convincingly.

@Gotta it is not a valid observation though as we have continually said that all violence is not acceptable, so it is, in fact, as an observation, utterly devoid of any substance. Now go away you annoying person.

Marinade
Saying all violence is not acceptable but then saying it's worse for an 8 year old boy to hit an 8 year old girl than an 8 year old boy is stupid!
The observation is valid...You are not.
Now,...Piss off.

Marinade

you may wish to find a dictionary definition of minority.

HTH

Walkingdead11

I stated where my stats came from. which is more than you ever did.

But as you are still being abusive. I am going to leave you to it.

Walkingdead11

I will also say that it was a good conversation till you turned to name calling and nastiness.

Bony

I DID state where my stats came from...women's Aid.....Refuge.......National Crime Statistics.......oh and yes I have been rude.....difference is I own it...unlike you.

Yes Marinade, I also suspect Bony is male.

@Gotta, your charm and intellect are astonishing. I am truly truly in awe at your reasoned and well formulated arguments. To say that all violence is wrong does of course, encompass any violence directed by a girl to a boy and yes you are a bit dim if you don't get that. The point is, that as women suffer more at the hands of male violence, it is more concerning to me if my daughter suffers violence at the hands of boy. So.... you piss off with your vile attitude.

Walkingdead11

Where would you like me to get the facts from, Refuge (the above facts)? Women's Aid? National crime statistics?

this is what you have posted, you have never stated where you got them from.

But As I said, I am going to leave you and Marinade, to your unpleasantness.

I agree with you OP. I think that pretending that men and boys aren't physically stronger than women or girls is borderline dangerous. Being equal does not mean being the same.

@Boney you have been an absolute peach. You have continually sought to present arguments that undermine the reality of violence directed towards women by men and yet refer to us as being unpleasant? Got to be an XY chromosome configuration going on there!

The point is, that as women suffer more at the hands of male violence, it is more concerning to me if my daughter suffers violence at the hands of boy

They are eight years old FFS! They are individuals. Stop being concerned what gender they are...it is irrelevant at that age. Girls of that age hit other girls and boys too.
However, if your DD ever hits a boy...don't get hysterical if he hits her back.

hasitcome -what I mean by "certain people" would be anyone at a physical disadvantage compared to me.
I'm not a particularly strong woman, but I am aware that I would have a physical advantage over an elderly person, small children and possibly some disabled people.
Is this kind of awareness not what guides all our behaviour?
For instance, I would feel bad if I accidentally walked Into a woman and knocked her over. I would feel even worse If I did the same to an elderly frail person, though. Who wouldn't?
It's the same reason you would give a seat to someone on a bus or something, It's not only about respect for others, it's self-respect.
So if a man says he feels more awkward about hitting a woman than another man, then he is entitled to feel that way, in the same way as I am.
This is very basic stuff.

perpetrators of violence in a domestic sense are mainly men and the vast majority of victims are women and so violence is disproportionately meted out to women?

Violence is disaprotionately meted out to men by men in a non domestic situation and more often over all. The situation is irrelevant, the message to a child must always be all violence is wrong and not violence to men/boys is more acceptable.

To fail to see the wider societal context in which this issue needs to be considered, you appear to be taking a stance of wilful blindness by ignoring the actual reality of male / female violence. It starts somewhere does it not? Why would addressing this point be harmful? Why the absolute rejection of it because the boy is 8? And no, for the umpteenth time I have no concerns whatsoever that my daughter would hit another child, in the same way that I have no concerns that my son would either. The fact that you feel the need to make a statement about my DD ever hitting a boy is just so strange. I do not raise my children to think that hitting other children is ever acceptable but thanks all the same. You have been the rudest poster I have ever had the misfortune to interact with here.

How we deal and view male on female violence and male on male violence is essential if we are to stop it. It's all very well saying all violence is equally reprehensible but how are we going to stop it. I'm not interested in platitudes about violence being equal, I'm interested in stopping it altogether. Children are surely the key to that are they not? Yes it's fair to teach boys not to hit anyone but the point isn't getting through is it?? Why????

Marinade

I haven't done anything of the sort. but you believe whatever makes your views easy to live with.

Walkingdead11

You keep plumbing the depths and showing people who you really are.

just FYI persona;l insults are against the rules.

Bony

You're just sore because your true mysogynitic self has been identified, truth hurts doesn't it!

One of you really needs to take the high road and ignore the others

Rufustherenegadereindeer1

I have no intention of backing down to a mansplainer who purports ridiculous stats as facts.......

Did i say backing down

Use your words and arguements by all means

But everytime anyone gets personal on here or keeps on with the sarky comments it makes you all seem about 8

Do what you like...i agree with your well argued, factual posts

But you are all lowering youselves