To think if a boy hits my daughter then yes it is different to if a girl does

[ouchthathurtsabit]

Preparing to be flamed as this is a controversial issue.

I'm a mum of a girl and 2 boys. My daughter came home with a red mark on her face saying that a boy- known for hurting others- had punched her in the face because she had gone in front of him in the queue. The boy was spoken to and it was dealt with. The children are 8 and in year 3.

So I spoke to the teacher and said I was glad it was dealt with and that I was sure my daughter would be fine but it would probably be helpful for this boy to know that it's unacceptable to hurt or hit anyone but that hitting a girl in the face is really not acceptable.

The teacher then had a massive rant at me saying that there is absolutely no difference and that's a very dangerous thing to be teaching children and it would not be an appropriate thing to say in school.

Whist I do understand what she was tryouts g to say, I do try and explain to my boys that In our society, no matter what age you are, if you hit a female then it is completely unacceptable and that no matter what a girl does or says to you then if you respond with physical violence then it's not acceptable. Males are generally bigger and stronger. Am I completely wrong in thinking at 8 years old this could be mentioned? Because I don't know! I know if one of my boys hit a girl in the face I would be a tiny bit more mortified than if it was a girl

Ds had a phase of hitting children here and there around the age of 8. He also slapped a girl on a few occasions. Where I live in the country it is quite oldfashioned and traditional so the teachers did make a point of saying it is wrong to hit anybody but especially a girl.

I think it is just the way they perceive it in this region.

I doubt it would have been said that way in London where we used to live however.

my beautiful and gentle seven year daughter would not beat up boys?

What on earth has the beauty of your daughter got to do with anything? And why is my gentle son any more deserving of violence than her?

Marinade

You made you swear, take responsibility for your actions.

Not it isn't Lass. Not at all, you're being pretty absurd. I get you're ideology in this but that is what it is.

Eolian Because he's a big rough tough boy and he can take it like a man. Girls are delicate little flowers. Didn't you know?

So if it's a bad thing for a girl to use violence to defend herself against sexual harassment then where do we draw the line?
Rape? Would it be ok then? Or does the line "all violence is equally wrong" still apply then? Should women allow the attack then report it? Or is it ok to use violence to defend against rape
In which case you are also saying some violence isn't as bad as other violence aren't you?

There is a legal concept known as self defence. One is allowed to use reasonable and proportionate retaliation to protect oneself.

@Lass. No the distinction is not absurd, I am able to justify it and am very very clear as to why and how my thoughts are framed in relation to this. My husband is a very experienced teacher and feels the exact same way. Your minimisation of the differences between boys and girls appears to be lovely in a very academic sense, and reflects an ideology rather than the reality of the peer settings and dynamics that exist between children at school. Anyway I have had enough of this thread, what with being posed questions about getting calls about my daughter being violent. It is abhorrent to pose such a question even in a theoretical sense when it is about my child. What an awful and disgusting way for people to conduct themselves, even here.

Im in london by the way.

@Boney I have sworn but your posts towards me and the comments made about my child are truly vile. I know who I would prefer to be.

LongWavyHair

Eolian Because he's a big rough tough boy and he can take it like a man. Girls are delicate little flowers. Didn't you know?

Indeed Wavy. I am so glad this pearl of wisdom has been explained.

Bony

So 2 women??? Lol sorry but 😂😂😂

What is your point with this startling revelation??

The quote is an average, it means that the number moves up and down.

Oh I see, boys and girls are completly equal so violence between any of the genders is equally abhorrent........so why are women and girls more disproportionately affected then??

Bony

It's still significantly higher than male deaths though, isn't it.

Marinade

get a grip.

at what point have I made "vile" comments?

I asked what would you do if? you have gone OTT.

No one said girls are delicate little flowers. We are however the bearer of all these boys and girls so a bit of respect for this doesn't go amiss and boys should be taught such.

You are right! There seems to be a lot of PC regarding genders at the moment. The truth is men & women are different regardless of what people say. It's unacceptable to hit anyone but men are built differently and are a lot stronger. At 8 there may be very little difference but as they grow that will change. Teach them from an early age so that they are aware!

I personally find your posts pretty bizarre and rather patronising.

Is is higher but men do at the hands of their partners.

And average doesn't mean equal. Which is way it should be quoted as a statistical average and not an absolute. I suspect that the male number is also an average

@Boney, nope no need get a grip when you postulate in all seriousness about my beautiful daughter being violent and getting phone calls to the same that I would ignore. Given my lovely child's nature and my approach to parenting, that is as vile as it gets.

Marinade

If you don't understand what a scenario for the purpose of hypothetical debate is, then there is no hope.

Are you a machine Boney :))) Weird posts indeed.

2 men to say 500 women in domestic violent situations. Err ok:)

Yes Boney you come across as a very very strange and rather unpleasant character. I totally get a hypothetical scenario but you made direct predictions about me ignoring it and so it went beyond that. Take some responsibility why don't you?

Marinade

If your son hit/kicked my son I would be just as disgusted as I would if he kicked my daughter.
You speak as if boys only hit boys in rough play so if they hit a girl it's for 'other reasons'
It's absolute crap! Boys hit other boys to dominate, to be spiteful and to frighten them just the same as they would to a girl.
Young boys don't hit girls 'because' they are girls. It's for the same reasons they hit other boys.
To be more annoyed that a boy hit your young daughter than if he hit your son is disgusting.