To think if a boy hits my daughter then yes it is different to if a girl does

[ouchthathurtsabit]

Preparing to be flamed as this is a controversial issue.

I'm a mum of a girl and 2 boys. My daughter came home with a red mark on her face saying that a boy- known for hurting others- had punched her in the face because she had gone in front of him in the queue. The boy was spoken to and it was dealt with. The children are 8 and in year 3.

So I spoke to the teacher and said I was glad it was dealt with and that I was sure my daughter would be fine but it would probably be helpful for this boy to know that it's unacceptable to hurt or hit anyone but that hitting a girl in the face is really not acceptable.

The teacher then had a massive rant at me saying that there is absolutely no difference and that's a very dangerous thing to be teaching children and it would not be an appropriate thing to say in school.

Whist I do understand what she was tryouts g to say, I do try and explain to my boys that In our society, no matter what age you are, if you hit a female then it is completely unacceptable and that no matter what a girl does or says to you then if you respond with physical violence then it's not acceptable. Males are generally bigger and stronger. Am I completely wrong in thinking at 8 years old this could be mentioned? Because I don't know! I know if one of my boys hit a girl in the face I would be a tiny bit more mortified than if it was a girl

A boy hitting a girl is no worse than hitting a boy.
No one should be hitting anyone so the teacher is right.
It's bloody annoying too when women think it's ok to slap a man but not for a man to slap a woman.
It's not ok to hit anyone because you are angry, or irritated or frustrated ...or at all, unless it's in absolute self defence.

Walkingdead1 I agree, it is important to teach about those issues. Wr should explain that most violence is committed by men. Explain what a loving and non-abusive relationship should be like. Explain that a horrendous amount of women suffer domestic abuse. And then finish by saying "Hitting anyone is wrong ".

Sorry boney

At no point have i said that you didnt say that

I was just trying to explain my thought process in respect of walkings post

My nasty thing got worse so i dont think i will be back on for a while

Thanks boney

Of course hitting anyone no matter what gender is wrong. However I personally think a boy hitting a girl is worse.

And walking

However I personally think a boy hitting a girl is worse

How come?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1

I hope everything is ok.

I agree with the teacher but there was no need to rant about it. There really isn't any difference between boys and girls at that age, and girls are as likely to be bullies as boys. We should teach all our children that hitting is wrong, end of.

Because I do. I don't know any of my sons friends that think differently either, nor any of the mums. I also believe in chivalry, shock horror :)

Walkingdead11

My only issue is that you are overlooking the person,

If your child was in an abusive relationship, I would bet that your response wouldn't be "males in society commit more violent crimes",

Its not IMO an appropriate response.

You would want him to get out of the situation and hopefully go to the police.

As I see it there are two responses on the thread

those that see the people (no matter what their sex)

And those that see society.

Thank you boney

Nothing wrong with a bit of chivalry. I'll agree with you on that one.

To bring my own experience on this, my 8 year old son was kicked by another boy at school and it was resolved in a fairly amicable manner with the boy being told off and apologising. But if a boy had kicked by 7 year old daughter it would have taken on an entirely different hue for me, so I agree with the OP. I would be way more upset if a boy hit my daughter than if a boy hit my son as it violates the unspoken rules around peer groups and societal norms in my view. Boys are more physical with each other and this can extend to physical altercations occurring whereas a boy hitting a girl is more indicative of malice and expressing dominance in a highly inappropriate and disgusting manner. I don't agree with the teacher and I think its trying to impose an ideology on us that does not reflect our fundamental beliefs. I don't care what others think or why they disagree, it is my belief and I would find the teacher's response really upsetting. Most mothers I know would agree with me and I find the fact that this seems to be contentious really really odd.

Bony

But we are ALL products of society so it's important that we address those societal issues as a whole and not on an individual perspective. Maggie was wrong when she said "There's no such thing as society" 😂

If my son was in a dv situation and getting hit then I would be disappointed if he hit the woman back, I'm sorry but I would. In that situation I would be telling him that she should not treating him that way and that he should restrain her if necessary, leave and report. The notion of a bigger stronger man hitting a smaller weaker woman (very likely) is not something I could justify. I have a daughter too and I would say the same thing to her but I would be very aware that the potential for serious physical harm and death would enter the equation, because that is the fact of the matter.

this thread makes me want to throw up.

Of course it isnt different and no men and boys arent stronger especially not at primary school age. in literally no way. It's just that we're socialised to value being thin instead of strong -

Can i send the teacher flowers

can we agree that it is as wrong for a girl to hit a girl or boy as it is for a boy to hit a girl or boy.

Well said Marinade.

Can i send the teacher flowers

She deserves a big shiny medal!

However I personally think a boy hitting a girl is worse

That makes no sense at all. Both are equally wrong.

@Jadifer go ahead and throw up then. Might rid you of your ridiculous views. To say that boys aren't stronger - what evidence are you relying on? Does that mean that they have the same propensity for physical behaviour and altercations - of course not. Boys develop and play in a different way to girls and physicality is more common amongst each other but to extend this to girls in a violent way is totally wrong. Why do you choose to ignore this in order to stick to your rigid and one dimensional ideology? Such annoying crap.

It makes a heck of a lot of sense to me.

whereas a boy hitting a girl is more indicative of malice and expressing dominance in a highly inappropriate and disgusting manner

What rubbish! If a boy hits another boy it can also be expressing dominance and out of malice. Kids hit other kids for all sorts of reasons and have to be taught to express their emotions in a better way.

Walking

"But we are ALL products of society so it's important that we address those societal issues as a whole and not on an individual perspective."

there is a time, a place and a way to do this.

As for the DV situation she is more likely to be hitting him with objects. At a guess I would have to say that you don't understand the dynamics of a DV situation if you are telling someone to restrain the perpetrator of violence.

Because I do (In answer to why is it worse for aboy to hit a girl).

Slow hand clap. Brilliantly reasoned.

Marinade

I find it interesting that you don't say how you would feel if your daughter was beating up boys.