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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the bread knife to my stupid, unreasonable, counting uterus?

58 replies

MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:47

Stupid fucker has shocking timekeeping. Should have swung into action a week ago. But oh no. Bastard thing waits until now. 36 hours before a holiday and my biannual intercouse slot.
Why? Why would it do that. Stupid fucking cunting bitch.
I have had Enough. 30 bastard years of paining and now this. It really is intolerable.

OP posts:
Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:48

30 fecking years.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/09/2017 20:49

Your biannual intercourse slot?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 06/09/2017 20:49

I agree.

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:50

Paper thin walls and insomniac teenagers.

OP posts:
PerfectlyPooPoo · 06/09/2017 20:50

Yanbu.

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:51

It's going to have to go. This is one piss take too far.

OP posts:
flupi · 06/09/2017 20:51

Go and get some northisterone. My doctor said it would halt the flow - you're meant to take it 3 days before you are due but she said it would still work.

pimmsy · 06/09/2017 20:51
Flowers
Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:53

Zits. Pain. Ruined pants. Carb craving. Bloat. Pain. Drugs. Mess. Pain. Faff. Disappointment. Pain. Javelin arse. Pain. Diarrhoea. Pain.

And a fucked up holiday in a bastard pear tree.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/09/2017 20:53

Ah, teenagers... Flowers

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:54

Interesting flupi. I have some somewhere. I assumed it would be too late.
If the stupid cunting uterus was reliable I could have planned better.

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 06/09/2017 20:56

Definitely norethisterone, should still work

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 20:58

Can't remember where I put the stupid bloody things. Where would they be?

OP posts:
ChickenVindaloo2 · 06/09/2017 21:00

I wondered if "biannual intercourse" was some kind of deviant act! Grin
Now does it mean twice a year or every 2 years?

Bad luck on the period front, hope you get it sorted.

Graphista · 06/09/2017 21:01

Get on Amazon and order for as fast delivery as poss beppy sponge tampons.

KweenOfFarts · 06/09/2017 21:01

Can you buy that over the counter?

Hope it works OP and have good holiday. Buy the kids a tent for Xmas and make them sleep in garden

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 21:01

Twice a year Sadly.

OP posts:
Graphista · 06/09/2017 21:02

And build cinema passes and/or bowling passes into the budget for the kids - sell to them as Christmas gifts??

BuzzKillington · 06/09/2017 21:07

Twice a year? Shock

Poor you!

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 21:08

Well. Maybe a few more. But so rarely a week in the sun is much anticipated.

OP posts:
Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 21:09

Wrong thread Graphista Grin

OP posts:
RiseToday · 06/09/2017 21:14

Javelin Arse Grin

I thought I was the only one who suffered from this. It's hideous.

Original poster
MOIST · 06/09/2017 21:15

I do feel it's more of a pineapple mostly.

OP posts:
Graphista · 06/09/2017 21:17

Nope have you looked them up? Allow you to have sex when on period and no mess no pain.

Orlandointhewilderness · 06/09/2017 21:17

Ah feel your pain OP. Mine did the same - 1 day before holiday on the 19th, instead of the 27th as prearranged. Bitch.