Next doors 5 year old kid has been screaming late at night for the past 3 years. Seriously destroying our quality of life.

[sleeplessneighbour]

They moved in around 3 years ago with their toddler, back then he screamed all day every day. Never ending tantrums. When they put him to bed at 6pm he would scream and yell for up to 2 hrs before finally exhausting himself, but often some time after midnight he would wake up again and start yelling and screaming.

For the first year this happened every single day, and I'm not exaggerating. We called over at one point (with wine and a smile I might add!) to talk to them about it and see if there was a solution we could work out. They were immediately defensive and sent us away saying that this is what kids do and refused to entertain any suggestions of moving him to a different part of the house or attempting to soundproof his room.

Over the years he does it less frequently (around 1/2 times a week) but now he is bigger he is even louder. I hear it through earplugs. It's audible in other rooms of the house and not just the one immediately adjacent to his.

I'm at my wits end. I opened my window one night and yelled at him to 'shut up' as he'd been screaming for 20 mins at 2am and the parents were upstairs in their loft conversion apparently oblivious.

WTF do I do? This is getting past the point of acceptable and has been going on for so long now that I doubt he'll ever grow out of it. Can any parents with experience of kids like this help me with how to approach them? We're a bunch of late 20's/early 30s professionals who have 1 party a year and are early to bed. We cause zero disturbance to any of our neighbours.

Any and all help appreciated, thanks from a desperate bunch of tired people.

When my Dd was a baby she had real problems with teething. For about 6 months she didn't sleep for more than about 30 mins at a time. And then screamed for an hour. Dh did not do his share. (Nearly destroyed our marriage but that is another story.)

One night she finally went to sleep for the 7th time and I got her back in her cot. Just as I was leaving her room she suddenly started screaming again. I shouted "shut up! Just shut up!" before collapsing on the floor in hysterics.

I love Dd unconditionally and I still screamed at her to shut up.

Because you're selfish Acruellintentions

But what if SS/Council etc go round and the people say sorry the child has a SN and this is what it is, there is nothing they can do and they are following all professional advice for dealing with it? What then? The noise is still the same. What can the neighbours do? (genuine question as i can't think of anything)

I honestly don't understand why they haven't soundproofed the kids room.

My godson has disabilities and can be extremely noisy. His mum has completely soundproofed his room so it doesn't impact on the neighbours or her other child.

I would contact the council and see if they can offer any advice. But SN or not, screaming blue murder at 2am for hours is not acceptable at all. And I say that as a parent of a child with ASD who has massive trouble sleeping, has nightmares when she does sleep and used to have night terrors.

I'm probably being thick but I don't understand what you mean by you can't afford to move? You're a young professional living in London, I've been a teen call centre worker living in London and could afford to move? What can you not afford to do? I shuttled my stuff a box at a time on the tube between Acton to Southfields.

The situation and neighbours sound horrific so I really would do all I can to move. Move out of London and commute in?

No I'm suggesting that she tries to also understand it from the parents point of view too WhereDoesThisRoadGo
You can't just say "my quality of life" and not fully comprehend the situation from both sides. Always two sides to every story.

Yeah move house on the tube. Why didn't op think of that.

LagunaBubbles of course I'm not actually laughing as if it's funny it's called sarcasm.
I don't find telling a 5 year old to shut up funny at all, I think it's funny that she complains about noise when she's shouting out the window at 2am.

I think if the child is screaming for 2 hours at a time, it is important to establish if there is a reason for that. You have no information, and the parents didn't offer you any when you tried to broach the subject. I would honestly ask them again, and if you don't get any explanation, call social services. I don't say this with your needs in mind, but the child's.

She yelled out of the window ONCE at 2AM after THREE YEARS of this noise.

"I would also be contacting social services, I'm afraid to say."

If the child has additional needs, they won't be interested and won't do anything.

I've been a teen call centre worker living in London and could afford to move?

Pahahaha. When was this? 1992?

If you're in a house share I don't see why you can't move? London is expensive but there's loads of rooms to rent. My London dwelling friends always seem able to find new rooms when they need them. I appreciate it's not ideal, but if they won't engage with you, after 3 years it sounds like it's your only choice. I would be losing my mind as well, I really sympathise.

"I would also be contacting social services, I'm afraid to say."

"If the child has additional needs, they won't be interested and won't do anything."

And if the child doesn't have additional needs but is in fact being abused and/or neglected then social services will subsequently have him on their radar. It's covering all bases.

Yes, because the OP should have to go to the inconvenience and expense of moving, because the neighbours don't effectively discipline their child.

Loving the suggestion op should move out across London transporting her belongings on the tube

Bendydick it won't be the moving costs the op can't afford it will be the 2-3 months rent she'll need as a deposit on the next place plus a months rent in advance that the OP doesn't have.

And what if the neighbours can't or wont do any of those things? Can they be compelled to?

Op I feel sorry for you and I bet you regret being honest about your "shut up" outburst on here. Three years times two hours of screaming is over two thousand hours of late-night screaming. Shouting "shut up" is less than one minute out of two thousand hours and while not an admirable behaviour, it is certainlu not an equivalence of problem with the hours is screaming over years.

Sleep interruption is horrid. I certainly don't envy the parents as it must be awful for them and for the child. However they are wrong not to engage with those who are impacted by it. As well as trying again to approach them, can you look at what you can do yourself? While you shouldn't have to, perhaps it would be worthwhile making a modest investment in soundproofing your own room if no solution from the neighbours is forthcoming. Could you ask your landlord to pay for it? It might also be another avenue for your landlord to contact them and explain the noise is disturbing long-standing tenants.

I do feel for the family and the child; it sounds like a miserable way to live. But that doesn't negate the impact it is having on you.

I'd be calling social services. There is no way the OP should have to put up with that amount of screaming. It sounds like the child is a victim of neglect or has SN (or both). Social services may well be able to help and at least the parents may take it all a bit more seriously.

What a terrible situation for everyone.

dolcezza99, children screaming at night is not an issue of discipline.

Of course it is. I knew damn well not to scream the place down by the time I was five. If there are no consequences, he'll keep doing it.