Next doors 5 year old kid has been screaming late at night for the past 3 years. Seriously destroying our quality of life.

[sleeplessneighbour]

They moved in around 3 years ago with their toddler, back then he screamed all day every day. Never ending tantrums. When they put him to bed at 6pm he would scream and yell for up to 2 hrs before finally exhausting himself, but often some time after midnight he would wake up again and start yelling and screaming.

For the first year this happened every single day, and I'm not exaggerating. We called over at one point (with wine and a smile I might add!) to talk to them about it and see if there was a solution we could work out. They were immediately defensive and sent us away saying that this is what kids do and refused to entertain any suggestions of moving him to a different part of the house or attempting to soundproof his room.

Over the years he does it less frequently (around 1/2 times a week) but now he is bigger he is even louder. I hear it through earplugs. It's audible in other rooms of the house and not just the one immediately adjacent to his.

I'm at my wits end. I opened my window one night and yelled at him to 'shut up' as he'd been screaming for 20 mins at 2am and the parents were upstairs in their loft conversion apparently oblivious.

WTF do I do? This is getting past the point of acceptable and has been going on for so long now that I doubt he'll ever grow out of it. Can any parents with experience of kids like this help me with how to approach them? We're a bunch of late 20's/early 30s professionals who have 1 party a year and are early to bed. We cause zero disturbance to any of our neighbours.

Any and all help appreciated, thanks from a desperate bunch of tired people.

Hahahahahaahahhaahahah your quality of life?! Oh my goodness.

Sorry, are you suggesting the OP has no right to a quality of life because her neighbours are unfortunate enough to have a screaming child? Whatever the reasons, OP should not have to put up with it.

OP... As I am currently doing thanks to shitty neighbours, you are going to have to move. As evidenced from a lot of PPs, no one will sympathise with your issue. According to the world of MN, everything is always about the child. Always about SN. And always everyone's problem.

Nope!

okay OP - there are a couple of possibliities - theparents may well be lying there with him comforting him - how would you know? you can't say they are ignoring him you simply don't know that.

Kids make noise. There really is absolutely nothing that can be done about a child screaming or crying - who do you think would step in and stop him??

Ah yes, simply move to a nice detached house. I'm sure OP has a special savings account full of magically generating money for just this eventuality.

YANBU, of course not. If there is some sort of additional needs the kid has, you're hardly to know that if the parents haven't told you. See if you can have another word with them. Saying 'all kids do it' you can just about get away with if they're still extremely young and getting used to a new house. After several years, it is not normal behaviour. If they still respond by getting defensive then you will need to contact environmental health - anything that is affecting your health and wellbeing (and sleep deprivation absolutely does) should be dealt with.

I'd have called the NSPCC for advice years ago.

The parents quality of life is no one else's concern. What is, is the impact this child and it's noise has on the surrounding neighbours.

Report the parents to the council and insist that they get their house soundproofed to appease the neighbours, why should the neighbours pussyfoot around them to appease them and their disruptive kid?? They are the ones causing a problem.

"Kids make noise. There really is absolutely nothing that can be done about a child screaming or crying"

The OP isn't complaining about ordinary levels of noise. She's complaining about a kid that is off-the-scale noisy for hours every single night. There's a massive difference between "normal" kid noise that everyone should tolerate because that's just what kids do, and the situation she is describing.

If the child has issues then the parents shouldn't have been so rude and dismissive of OP.

He is their son. So the affect he has on others is their problem.

OP call the council and honesty if someone was screaming boy murder at 2am I'd call 101 and say you were concerned.
And yes call SS. Because clearly whatever they are doing isn't working.

If you cannot afford to move and doubt you will be able to do so for some time, then I would consider another talk with the neighbours and if that fails chatting to the council about the noise levels. Yes, children are noisy but it is not normal to be as noisy as this. Possibly the child has SEN or perhaps the parents are doing their best to console him whilst he cries but unless they are cooperating and telling you this, you can't assume so.

If you find out the people you bought from previously put in a complaint and didn't declare it when you bought the house, I would speak to a solicitor as well.

I have a child with ASD who is noisy from time to time, nothing like the child in the OP, If this was my child I would be applagising to the neighbours and if he does have sn's or behaviour problems I would also inform the neighbours of the reason for all the noise. I feel sorry for the OP, it's not nice to hear a child screaming n the middle night and the sound of someone else's child is even worse than your own. I would also ring SS as it sounds like the parents are not coping well with dealing with it.

I would look at every way to move. If they don't really care and are not going to be in any way helpful I would throw the towel in and find somewhere else.

YANBU.

I would go straight to environmental health and get the recorders so they can be compelled to soundproof.

Or, maybe THEY can move to a detached house?!

Screaming regularly for 2 hours at a time, and 20 minutes screaming at 2am?

I'd phone the police and social services and the NSPCC every single time.

I'd move and unlike the other sanctimonious PPs on this thread I'd have yelled out of the window long before you did!

Seriously though, this kid is not your problem. I'd get as far away from him as I could. No way would I put up with living next to that racket.

OP, how terrible for you.

Everyone flaming you should be ashamed, no, shouting at him was a bad move but we have all done things in the heat of the moment that we regret and been woken in the middle of the night after three years when it doesn't seem like the parents are doing anything must be frustrating beyond belief.

Her quality of life is being affected - she can't fucking sleep!

I think really, the parents well being is none of your concern. You tried to extend the hand of friendship and they threw it in your face. You need to prioritize yourself and the child.

It's not normal for a five year old to scream like that, his parents are either morons or he has additional needs. Either way, they aren't coping and this needs addressing for all involved.

If I were you, I'd firstly call the council and see what they advise (can they send a noise warning of some degree?) I would also start recording every time he cries and when you have a good dozen or so pieces of evidence I'd contact social services.

If they are neglecting him, they need to step in. If he has some kind of special needs, they need support because they aren't coping and really OP, nor are you.

You need to look after yourself and your family foremost, OP, they most certainly are. You have put up and shut up long enough.

I can't beleive some of the shit posted on here, You can tell which posters let their kids run riot whilst not giving a shit about their neighbours.

Op, that level of noise is not normal, I would actually be concerned for the child being left to scream for hours through the night whilst parents are happily sleeping on another floor, I would probably try to have another chat with them about it, if that doesn't work then report to nspcc.

I think people are being really unfair to OP.

This amount of crying is not normal.

I agree. I think you should talk to them, phone police, SS, council about noise.

Ds2 cried a lot when born. For months.

I also understand SN children cry.

But this amount of crying is not normal.
The parents were up in their loft conversion, oblivious? That's not good.

Have you spoken to other people in the neighbourhood who are parents of similar-aged children. If the child is of school age they know more, from the classroom, about what is going on.

My goodness OP, I really feel for you. A lot of the replies on here are dreadful too - which won't be helping you either.

I wouldn't be able to put up with noise like that - not many people would. We live in a terraced house and when we renovated we accoustically insulated it. Would that be possible in your bedroom? We also have aircraft flying over head from time to time so I bought a white noise machine. It's great www.amazon.co.uk/LectroFan-International-Model-Sound-Machine/dp/B019GAFJEG/ref=pd_cp_121_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=81YMWKZNEAA07CG2RYQW&tag=mumsnetforum-21.

If these two options are no good then I think you're going to have to move unfortunately.

Turn on your TV and mind your business.

Oh for god's sake, the OP would love to be able to 'mind her business' but she can't, because the noise of a screaming 5-year-old wakes her up every single night. She isn't being nosy here. It's her that's having to deal with intrusive, disturbing noise.

As for 'turn on your TV', yeah, that's really going to help her sleep at 2am. If it was a baby crying in the night obviously that happens and there's nothing that can be done, but there is something badly wrong if a five-year-old is carrying on like this.

Yes, she shouldn't have shouted at a 5-year-old, but three years of disturbed sleep does make people snap. As for people saying it must be even worse for the parents - yes, I'm sure it is, but that's as it should be, isn't it? What with them being the child's parents and responsible for their kids' care and wellbeing - in contrast to their neighbours who have no obligations whatsoever. If you choose to have a child you're choosing to put yourself in a position where you have to deal with any difficulties that arise from that choice. Having your life disrupted by your own choices is one thing; having your life disrupted by someone else's is another.

If the child has special needs of one kind or another then of course, that's difficult, but the parents of that child do need to a) proactively offer an explanation to their neighbours and b) take some steps to soundproof at the very least. They might not be able to stop the screaming but they need to do something to alleviate the problem for others.

If the child doesn't have any specific issues, I'd be calling Social Services because this isn't normal behaviour and I'd be worried about what was going on in there and whether the family were in need of some proper help.

Its not fair on you OP my son used to be like this and I was mortified. I was the one going round the neighbours with wine and explaining his ASD. Fortunately he has improved and I've moved! I bet they were delighted.

" There really is absolutely nothing that can be done about a child screaming or crying - who do you think would step in and stop him??"

Huh? You can't possibly know that nothing can be done without personally knowing this particular child and what his triggers are.

Maybe you should consider referring him to SS. There's something gone wrong somewhere, and perhaps the family could do with some outside intervention.

The parents are being very unreasonable for not moving him to another part of the house.

I really feel for you, OP. Unfortunately there is probably nothing you can do about it. If moving really isn't an option, you are going to have to wait it out and hope he gets better in time.

Some posters are ridiculous, ignore them.

As above, can you move? Very seriously, it sounds unbearable, I can't believe you have been waiting for 3 years! I would have lost it a long time ago. I happen to have young children, and they would get very distressed to be kept awake by screaming next door.

I wouldn't advise you to start throwing parties, because I am not sure it would help. That said, if it is legal to be noisy until 23:30, why not. It won't help you sleep, but it will be less frustrating to be the noisy ones for a month. Legally.

Children do make noise, indeed, but it's up to the parents to keep them quiet and to show respect to others. I had 2 babies in a flat, and none of my neighbours even heard them at night. It's not normal or acceptable. The parents of that child sound like your worst nightmare.

Do not feel bad to contact the council, and anyone you can think about. Do keep a diary, do some recordings and complain until someone finally helps you. Do next door own their property? Rent (and you can complain to landlord?)

I salute you for being so patient for 3 years! I wouldn't have lasted a month. (and I have 4 kids, and they are not exactly quiet).

Just soundproof your room. He clearly has something up with him. Be it special needs or medical. The parents would put a stop to the screaming if they could

Clearly some of the posters on this thread are the parents of the awful, screeching children who run riot in my street from sun-up to sun-down without any supervision at all

OP, I'm not surprised you're at the end of your rope. I can't believe you've lasted as long as you have with this situation.