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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this feminist

530 replies

PlayOnWurtz · 05/09/2017 08:01

I happily call myself a feminist and will enter into discussions about it freely in real life and online. I got into one conversation about appearance and politics and how you rationalise body hair removal with feminism. I said I simply feel unclean, it's nothing to do with politics or being oppressed if I don't remove armpit and leg hair I feel like I need a wash.

Cue me being told that I clearly missed the memo on western socialization and oppression and that me removing body hair to feel clean wouldn't happen if I hadn't been socialised to feel this way Hmm erm no love I feel like I need a ruddy good wash if I don't shave I'm not oppressed....

AIBU to be annoyed and more than a bit Hmm

OP posts:
Walkingtowork · 05/09/2017 21:13

Ok that's against the MN guidelines, so I'll rephrase "if someone is against feminism, I personally take the stance that they, whoever they are, is likely to be a pratt, naming no names"

gettinfedduppathis · 05/09/2017 21:15

I've just RTFT. Well, that's an hour of my life I'm never going to get back.

Grin
dontpokethebear · 05/09/2017 21:15

Agree that it is a societal thing etc etc. I don't shave my legs that often, too much effort. I shave my armpits in the summer, because I smell if I don't.

But in regards to posters poo-pooing heavy periods/cleanliness; I started shaving, then waxing because after my first dc my periods turned into a horror movie. At home I would need to rinse off in the bidet every hour or couple of hours. But I was also working long days (12hr+ shifts) and it was impossible and impractical to be able to keep clean. TMI And yes, my pubes were caked with blood and I would start to smell (whether anyone else could tell, I don't know). I couldn't clean up with the limited time and resources available. Waxing (not the whole lot off mind) solved this issue to an extent.

However, I have now discovered menstrual cups and no longer need to wax Grin

You can't say that periods and pubes aren't an issue. Maybe not for you, but for some it's a bloody (arf) nightmare!

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:18

walking Grin

Honestly, I think we're on to a loser here. They will argue until the cows come home that they came up with the idea to remove body hair independently by themselves.It is a massive coincidence that only women seem to want to do this. Maybe women are just really clean? Men must be really grubby then?!

Grin BELLY LAUGH

BartholinsSister · 05/09/2017 21:19

Men never shave anything?

ponderingprobably · 05/09/2017 21:21

You can't say that periods and pubes aren't an issue. Maybe not for you, but for some it's a bloody (arf) nightmare!

Look, I've resorted to incontinence pads for heavy periods before. I didn't find shaving helped. Good absorbent sanitary products do, for me.

Manclife · 05/09/2017 21:22

@Walkingtowork How is pointing oitvthe hypocrisy in an argument being 'against feminism'. I couldn't give a toss if someone shaves or doesn't but loads of makes males are starting to shave more than their chins. Which is why I believe it's more about what is socially fashionable than patriarchy

Walkingtowork · 05/09/2017 21:24

Thinking about it, I often get pube versus adhesive strip jolts of pain, but the Never To Be Mentioned Again clit incident earlier in the thread has scared me away from any form of 'intimate' hair removal.

JacquesHammer · 05/09/2017 21:25

I didn't find shaving helped

The first period I had after I'd lost my pubic hair through illness was an absolute revelation for me.

I was astounded how such a little thing made dealing with my appalling periods easier.

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:25

Who said men don't shave, Bartholins? If you have a Bartholins cyst then I think maybe shaving might not be a good idea. Ask your doctor, though...I'm just a random on the Internet.

ponderingprobably · 05/09/2017 21:25

I couldn't give a toss if someone shaves or doesn't but loads of makes males are starting to shave more than their chins. Which is why I believe it's more about what is socially fashionable than patriarchy

It's patriarchy when women are publicly shamed in the media for not shaving. I don't think it has really got to that level for men yet.

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:28

Julia Roberts was shamed in the media for hairy armpits. Does anyone know of an example of a male being shamed in the media for hairy armpits? Or legs?

Manclife · 05/09/2017 21:28

Has nothing to do with patriarchy and everything to do with social norms. Besides it's 'womens' magazines that are the worst offenders.

Walkingtowork · 05/09/2017 21:30

If you believe we live in a patriarchy (I do, many don't) then what's socially fashionable is going to be inherently tied up it - the two are inseparable, there's no black and white, one or the other.

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:30

Jesus, I'm a highly educated person. I can't believe i am trying to argue this fait accomplis. It is a non argument

ponderingprobably · 05/09/2017 21:31

Besides it's 'womens' magazines that are the worst offenders.

Oh, so because the magazines are aimed at women, this is not patriarchy?

ponderingprobably · 05/09/2017 21:33

So sexist adverts, aimed at women, advertising cleaning products, for the woman to use - implied by the blurb and woman in the advert, are not a result of patriarchy?

Manclife · 05/09/2017 21:34

@Walkingtowork

Then we'll have to agree to disagree. I'm not convinced men are bright enough to have created a patriarchy. I do however think social acceptance has a much greater influence.

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:34

If even one of these numbskulls takes stock, then maybe my increased blood pressure would have been worth it. Maybe Hmm

Manclife · 05/09/2017 21:35

@ponderingprobably

Oh, so because the magazines are aimed at women, this is not patriarchy?

As many are run by women. No I don't.

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:36

I don't think they have created one knowingly, either. I don't think they give a shit or need to.

Women just need to keep fighting amongst themselves as they are doing

Walkingtowork · 05/09/2017 21:36

True Wishful I've said all I can really. And the idea that women's magazines are on our side, so if they encourage this it must be good for us/what we want is just laughable.

The fact that we (me included) still buy these magazines, despite them existing to make us insecure and spend money, just proves how deep it goes.

ponderingprobably · 05/09/2017 21:36

I'm not convinced men are bright enough to have created a patriarchy. I do however think social acceptance has a much greater influence.

So women created patriarchy? Yeah they really wanted half pay and not to be able to vote or own property...

WishfulThanking · 05/09/2017 21:36

I'm coming back as a white male and I will rule the world Grin

Manclife · 05/09/2017 21:37

So sexist adverts, aimed at women, advertising cleaning products, for the woman to use - implied by the blurb and woman in the advert, are not a result of patriarchy?

Again no. That's a capitalist issue.