To be annoyed at this feminist

[PlayOnWurtz]

I happily call myself a feminist and will enter into discussions about it freely in real life and online. I got into one conversation about appearance and politics and how you rationalise body hair removal with feminism. I said I simply feel unclean, it's nothing to do with politics or being oppressed if I don't remove armpit and leg hair I feel like I need a wash.

Cue me being told that I clearly missed the memo on western socialization and oppression and that me removing body hair to feel clean wouldn't happen if I hadn't been socialised to feel this way erm no love I feel like I need a ruddy good wash if I don't shave I'm not oppressed....

AIBU to be annoyed and more than a bit

But some women wouldn't date a man with a beard! Or blonds or short or mega tall or Danish for goodness sake.

It's a preference.

A hairy fanny is a turn off for some men and a turn on for others or most just don't care either way.

Personally I'd be very annoyed at any man being that prescriptive over my personal grooming. I'm glad my DH has never really being like that.

just don't get the angst. No one sees full eyebrows or plucked eyebrows as a feminist issue and no one can see your fanny waxed or bushy unless you strip off in the street

Turn off? It seems so shallow. But then someone being so appearance driven, right down to fine detail, would be a turn off for me.

No one sees full eyebrows or plucked eyebrows as a feminist issue

Do, a bit, actually.

It would be prescriptive if any partner suddenly started telling their other half to wax or shave but initial preferences are pretty normal arnt they?

Turn off? It seems so shallow. But then someone being so appearance driven, right down to fine detail, would be a turn off for me.

But that's their prerogative and doesn't mean they have abnormal or illegal tastes.

not really as shallow as making such a big deal out of other people's preference to wax. Why would you care that much

I don't think it is a preference though, it's now the norm....so any woman who doesn't prescribe to this new norm is going to be considered as eww.......so what choice do these women actually have??

Does the hair on your head make you feel grotty too?

Yes, that's why I shave that too. Honestly, this has sod all to with feminism and everything to do with personal choice. I like smooth—head and body—and it says nothing whatsoever about my views on feminism, the North Korean crisis or what I'm contemplating having for tea.

So you also see eyebrows as a feminist issue? Seriously?

Initial preferences? Personally I don't go parading about flashing all my body hair about. Really I think friendliness and kindness are attractive. Although I like the way myself and my DH look, I don't like the elitist competitive body beautiful type people that much.

Yes, there is a societal pressure for women to faff with them. More so than men.

^eyebrows that is.

nonsence women have choices and there have been all views on here. Just make your choice and get on.

I feel unclean with hairy pits or pubic hair. I only started to shave down below when I was 30 and it was a revelation! I wish my mom told me that I could shave there when I started puberty (she taught me how to shave legs and armpits only). Actually though hairy legs don't bother me, they don't feel as nice as smooth ones but they don't feel unclean!

And how implying being unshaven is somehow unhygienic or obscene effect women's choices?

This happens far more often and is more widespread than women being accused of being unfeminist for removing body hair.

Neither do I pond! but there's a middle ground between being obsessed with your body to the point of boredom and preferring to wax your fanny.

A waxed fanny doesn't mean the person with one isn't kind and friendly no more than full bush people are saints or monsters.

It's not different to washing your hair when you feel like it needs a wash. Some people are fine leaving it a week, others can only go a day. I generally don't shave expect during the summer/when my armpit hair he s very long because it is physically uncomfortable. I feel dirty. I don't look st other people with long adopt hair and think that they look dirty. It's just my body and of you are telling me that my feels about and experience of my physical state are irrelevant and that because it is not exactly the same as yours I must be indoctrinated by the patriarchy then you are not much of a feminist.

Women on here have said they feel cleaner without public hair, that's a valid feeling. Just because you don't agree doesn't invalidate their feelings.

Equally you have an absolute right to yours.

Of course it's conditioning. So is wearing clothes. It's good to consider the reasons behind doing something but then - as a previous poster said - make your choice and move on.

Women on here have said they feel cleaner without public hair, that's a valid feeling. Just because you don't agree doesn't invalidate their feelings.

I don't object to that. I object to the insinuations that to not shave results in being unclean and unhygienic. The suggestion upthread that it would involve being caked in menstrual blood and necessitate a particular kind of sanitary product.

I think some women felt that pubic hair and menstral blood didn't mix well but equally others were ok with it.

I steee no one should be prescriptive it really is personal choice.

Feeling unclean doesn't mean you are unclean though? It's no more unclean than the rest of your hair on your body. Providing it's washed, it's clean.

The suggestion upthread that it would involve being caked in menstrual blood and necessitate a particular kind of sanitary product

For me that is an absolute reality though. I don't assert that women should remove their pubic hair because menstruation is unclean.

What I am saying is that for those of us with menstrual disorders, the small steps we can take to make them easier to deal with are valid. For ME it is easier to keep MYSELF clean during my period with no hair. That's ok.