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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do?

159 replies

NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:34

Hi all,
Not sure how to approach next-
DH's brother got married recently- I was 8 months pregnant- so only attended for a few hours with my two other DC.
As soon as I and DC walk in- had all of DH's family assault us with taking a million pictures of us.
As I didn't take any due to watching over my DC and DH being busy- I swapped numbers with DH's relative so she could then forward pictures to me afterwards.
I waited a few days for her to do- but nothing.
I text her to do so- first she came out with excuses- saying haven't had a chance etc etc
Then completely blanking my messages.
It's now been a couple of months and still nothing- no contact. (Yet she regularly checks my snap story).
I am really angry with myself for allowing them access to my children and giving permission for them to take pictures- and foolishly thinking they would be shared back with me.
I have no pictures of me and my DC and DH from the wedding.
It is really upsetting and I don't know what to do now?

No stupid comments.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 04/09/2017 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dementedswan · 04/09/2017 07:37

Ask dh to ask his family for photos of the day?

Gorgosparta · 04/09/2017 07:38

Maybe they accidentally deleted them and don't want to say.

I am really confused about what you mean by 'allowing them access'?

I get you would like to see the photos. But that won't stop then having the photos too.

Is there a reason neither yiu or dh took any?

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 04/09/2017 07:39

Ask them again and then move on. It's photos from a wedding, its not going to damage the the children to never see them

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2017 07:43

Assault? Allowing them access? Giveover, it's a few snaps at a wedding.

PoppyPopcorn · 04/09/2017 07:49

Assaulted?

These people who "assaulted" you with photos are related to the children, they're not some randomers in the street. Yes it's a shame you have no photos and of course you should as your DH to ask for them but really, you are making this into a bit deal when it's not.

JennyOnAPlate · 04/09/2017 07:51

What you do now is nothing.

What a strange thing to get worked up about.

Glumglowworm · 04/09/2017 07:52

What you do is get over it.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:55

It is bothering me 'months later' as I then went on to a my baby and my baby is not well- so excuse me for prioritising my child's health while living in hospitals and then trying to deal with this after @pengggwn

OP posts:
Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:56

DH would never ask them.

OP posts:
Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:57

@Gorgosparta I seriously doubt that they accidently deleted them and yes assault- we hadn't even walked in and were surround with pictures being taken non stop for the entire time we were there of us solely.

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 04/09/2017 07:58

Let it go. It sounds like you've more important things to concern yourself with now. Hope all works out well for your family.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:59

@AllTheWittyNamesAreGone yes it's not going to damage anyone to not see them- but they were taken with the promise that they then would also be shared back with me as I couldn't take pictures myself being heavily pregnant and having a 3year old and 2 year old to also take care of.

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 04/09/2017 08:00

Well firstly you have a dh problem if he wont ask a relativr for some photos.

I am sorry your baby is ill. That must be difficult.

But this is really a non issue. Regardless of what stopped you being upset a fee months ago. Its pointless being upset now.

They took some photos of their relatives (your kids are related to them). You didnt allow access. You took them to a public place, to a public event.

Witsender · 04/09/2017 08:01

Honestly, their behaviour isn't weird. Yours however, is. I get that your baby has been poorly, but perhaps you are fixating on this as a distraction? You didn't 'allow them access', they are family and you went to a family wedding. With the best of intentions, you need to let this go.

Gorgosparta · 04/09/2017 08:01

I dont get how being pregnant and having 2 kids stops you taking a few photos.

Witsender · 04/09/2017 08:02

And yes, you could have taken some yourself.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:02

@PoppyPopcorn yes they may be related to my children- in name.
This was the first time I had met some of them the second I had met most of them- and the first time speaking to them after 5 years of marriage.
So I don't think being related has any bearings.

OP posts:
Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:04

@Witsender fixating as a distraction? Seriously lol

OP posts:
MurielsBottom · 04/09/2017 08:04

Perhaps you need to make it clear to your dh how much this upsets you. Then he would help you with it?

Ceto · 04/09/2017 08:04

Why wouldn't your DH ask? How hard can it be?

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:05

@Witsender and I hope you never are abused in your life and then have to decide to let people 'access to your children' just because they are related and that makes it ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:05

@Gorgosparta please don't comment.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 04/09/2017 08:07

then trying to deal with this after

But deal with what? There's nothing to deal with.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:07

@MurielsBottom DH knows how it upset me but he cannot ask his family its very complicated.

OP posts:
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