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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do?

159 replies

NSBZA · 04/09/2017 07:34

Hi all,
Not sure how to approach next-
DH's brother got married recently- I was 8 months pregnant- so only attended for a few hours with my two other DC.
As soon as I and DC walk in- had all of DH's family assault us with taking a million pictures of us.
As I didn't take any due to watching over my DC and DH being busy- I swapped numbers with DH's relative so she could then forward pictures to me afterwards.
I waited a few days for her to do- but nothing.
I text her to do so- first she came out with excuses- saying haven't had a chance etc etc
Then completely blanking my messages.
It's now been a couple of months and still nothing- no contact. (Yet she regularly checks my snap story).
I am really angry with myself for allowing them access to my children and giving permission for them to take pictures- and foolishly thinking they would be shared back with me.
I have no pictures of me and my DC and DH from the wedding.
It is really upsetting and I don't know what to do now?

No stupid comments.

OP posts:
DressedCrab · 04/09/2017 08:37

I'm sorry, OP, but you seem like very hard work. I'm relative has had enough of your attitude. I certainly have after reading this thread.

MurielsBottom · 04/09/2017 08:37

I'm guessing there is a huge family back story here. Not been in touch / speaking for years, decide to attend wedding, you feel like your trust has been violated as you didn't particularly know the relatives well and now you feel let down and hurt because they haven't honoured their side of the deal.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:38

@Bluntness100 and yes it was exactly like that situation 'You're describing it like you are Victoria beckham walking into a papparazi scrum.'
They did exact that.

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 04/09/2017 08:38

And I'm sorry about your sick child, I hope he or she is doing better now

FairNotFair · 04/09/2017 08:38

What would you do next after trying to contact someone numerous times to get the pictures that they promised to share back with you and haven't

Honestly? I'd shrug and move on.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:39

@MurielsBottom yes somewhat.

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 04/09/2017 08:39

For everyone taking it out of context let me re-phrase my initial question-What would you do next after trying to contact someone numerous times to get the pictures that they promised to share back with you and haven't

Give up and go back to living my life.
Your resentment and anger is hurting your children. Please think about them and stop this silly obsession about a few snaps.

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:39

@SilverBirchTree thank you- still struggling x

OP posts:
peachgreen · 04/09/2017 08:41

OP, it's annoying but it's really not the end of the world and you have bigger things going on in your life than some photos. If your DH won't ask (which is weird!) then I'm afraid you're just going to have to let it go.

SemiNormal · 04/09/2017 08:42

I'd messaged a few times about it but if no joy then I'd let it go. What other choice do you have? I get that it may be frustating but lots of things in life are sadly but only you can decide if you want to make a bigger issue of this - is it really worth so much to you?

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:42

@EdmundCleverClogs DH was busy being involved in running of the wedding- only being asked a day in advance. And I foolishly let my guard down and trusted thinking things will be better.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 04/09/2017 08:44

Have you asked everyone in the Paparazzi scrum for photos?
I agree with a PP, you sound like hard work.

MrTrebus · 04/09/2017 08:45
Biscuit
CherieBabySpliffUp · 04/09/2017 08:45

YABU with your attitude to the replies you are getting and the drip feeding.
Surely your DH could have taken photos Hmm

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:47

@peachgreen, @SemiNormal yes I know it's not the end of the world and yes I have more important things in my life which are and always will be my priority- I was asking what someone would do in an everyday situation when something like that happens.
Yes I will leave it and I am not fixated on it and I do not need medical assistance- for those who love to dish out this line. I only wanted opinions on what others would do. That's all.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 04/09/2017 08:50

NSBZA, really? Sorry but I do find it difficult to believe neither of you had a minute or two to snap a picture. You can do it sitting down or in passing. How was he running the whole wedding? Unless he was the vicar/cook/best man/photographer/DJ and taxi driver for everyone at the whole event, I'm quite sure he would have had a few minutes for his own family.

Either way, it's a shame you didn't get any photos, but not the end of the world. I know you're going through a tough time at the moment, but deflecting the feelings of worry and not being in control by focusing on some irrelevant photos will not be helpful in the long run.

Pengggwn · 04/09/2017 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 04/09/2017 08:53

But people gave you opinions and you went on the attack

Original poster
NSBZA · 04/09/2017 08:54

@EdmundCleverClogs really it was like that- DH had jobs dumped on him last minute. I had to make my own way with my 2 DC. It was an exotic wedding not a church wedding.

OP posts:
Mulberry72 · 04/09/2017 08:54

What a very bizarre thread Confused

notanotherNC · 04/09/2017 08:56

You sound crazy. Families take photos at weddings. It is a shame you didn't get any copies, but really you need to move on now. Seriously sounds like you would benefit from a chat with a doctor? Do you have pnd?

gamerwidow · 04/09/2017 08:57

OP to answer your original question if someone said they would send the pictures but didn't after I'd asked them and then reminded them I'd think that's a shame and then leave it.
There isn't anything else you can do really.
Your reaction to the wedding and the photographs is very unusual and most people wouldn't be worried about themselves and their children being photographed at a family event no matter how distant the family. They probably don't realise how much this is upsetting you because your reaction is extreme. You obviously have your own reasons for feeling this way so not a judgement but the relative probably doesn't see this as a big deal because it wouldn't be for most people.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/09/2017 08:58

I am afraid that whatever you have been through does not entitle you to be rude to people.

^ this.

It was an exotic wedding not a church wedding.

What on earth us an 'exotic wedding! Hmm

'You're describing it like you are Victoria beckham walking into a papparazi scrum.'
They did exact that.

Righto Hmm

EdmundCleverClogs · 04/09/2017 08:59

NSBZA, well we only have your word for that. As I said, I find it difficult to believe he didn't have one minute spare. Quite frankly I wouldn't have gone if I was so immobile I could have only sat and held on to two children for a few hours without even being able to see or talk to my partner, seems like the whole thing was rather a waste of time for you. Then again, that's hindsight. What is an exotic wedding, especially one where one bloke does everything?

socubatevira · 04/09/2017 08:59

Famous amongst non-famous family?? Is this the situation? Most of us would get a polite wave or nod, at best a hug from closet upon walking into a wedding, not attacked by 'famarazzi' desperate for our pictures.(although, now I think of it, my DC and I are very beautiful and worthy of such acts! Damn them! 😏)