What to do?

[NSBZA]

Hi all,
Not sure how to approach next-
DH's brother got married recently- I was 8 months pregnant- so only attended for a few hours with my two other DC.
As soon as I and DC walk in- had all of DH's family assault us with taking a million pictures of us.
As I didn't take any due to watching over my DC and DH being busy- I swapped numbers with DH's relative so she could then forward pictures to me afterwards.
I waited a few days for her to do- but nothing.
I text her to do so- first she came out with excuses- saying haven't had a chance etc etc
Then completely blanking my messages.
It's now been a couple of months and still nothing- no contact. (Yet she regularly checks my snap story).
I am really angry with myself for allowing them access to my children and giving permission for them to take pictures- and foolishly thinking they would be shared back with me.
I have no pictures of me and my DC and DH from the wedding.
It is really upsetting and I don't know what to do now?

No stupid comments.

I wouldn't like you to feel attacked on this thread op as I don't think they will be helpful to,you.

We are all just pointing out that

It's very unusual for family to form a paparazzi scrum at someone else's wedding and take a million photos to the extent the subject feels assaulted
It's very unusual to be so upset months after that you haven't got the pics
Is very unusual for someone to be so busy at a wedding they can't take a couple of snaps
It's very unusual for someon to be asked to organise a wedding but not be able to ask anyone there for a copy of the pics.
It's very unusual to class family members taking pics as giving "access " to the children.
It's very unusual to react so emotionally to mild questions and comments, to the extent people read it as rude.

Overall that's what people are struggling with. Possibly there is a back story here and that's why we don't understand but maybe you can see why folks are struggling?

Thank you to those for actually answered my question and thank you to those for wishing my baby well- I do not wish to disclose any further information or my backstory- and everything I said was the truth. I don't have any mental medical conditions thank you very much for your concern. And my child isn't simply suffering from reflux. And I repeat again this isn't a fixation for me as I was going to ask one final time and then let it go but I thought I would get opinions on how to ask seeing as texts messages have failed. And no it's not my family- it's my DH's family. And anyone still commenting on why I didn't take the pictures myself- firstly this particular person asked to do it on my behalf and I didn't give my phone as I have a basic phone- hope that clears it up and also again- I was on crutches- with 2 children in an environment where I didn't particularly want to be in and trying to protect my myself and my 2 children from people we do not know. My privacy has been violated in the past from this family amongst other issues hence we are no contact and yes I know I can't stop people from taking pictures but these were taken purposefully with the intention that they were being taken on my behalf. And as for those saying I'm rude- if I came across like that in my posts that's wasn't my intention- I didn't want people fixating on other things other than the actual question asked. I hope that clears it up. And thank you to those who responded whether positive or negative. ✌🏻.

DH knows how it upset me but he cannot ask his family its very complicated.

If your DH knows it is upsetting you, and is important to you, and is not willing to do the very ordinary task of asking his own family for copies of photos taken at a family wedding, honestly you've got bigger problems than just not seeing the photos.

You sound like you've had a hard time lately, OP. Ask your DH to step up.

Are you the op whose children are so beautiful you cant walk down the street?

.

Did someone actually post that?

Ask your DH to step up.

On this occasion step up to what though?. He probably things like every one else on this thread, that OP should drop it.

Huge non issue.

Ps the pictures taken were of me and my 2 DC that I was asking to be shared back with me not of anyone else.

I don't think AIBU is the place for you OP. You clearly have a lot going on and this is the chat forum version of a paparazzi scrum except without the good manners and warmth.

WRT your question "What would you do next after trying to contact someone numerous times to get the pictures that they promised to share back with you and haven't", I'd have forgotten all about it.

Hi op. I sense that there is a back story to this that you quite rightly don't have to share. I can understand how it must have felt and personally I too would be extremely overwhelmed...but this is due to anxiety and shyness. I also understand the horrible feeling that you let people you hardly know take photos of your little ones. Unfortunately there is little you can do now as for whatever reason the person concerned has decided to now ignore your request for the photos. Sorry I have no constructive advice to offer but I can understand your discomfort and anger about it all. I hope your little one is making some progress in terms of getting better and please don't take people's opinions/comments here to heart. Without knowing you or all your back story it can be hard to totally see things from your perspective.

And no it's not my family- it's my DH's family.

In the very simplest terms (ignoring all the paparazzi/husband running the whole wedding/neither of you could take pictures/you were forced to go nonsense), if it's your husband's family, it's your husband's problem/job to sort it out. Which he won't, so that's the end of that - short of either storming around to their house like a lunatic or going totally over the top and get a lawyer.

I'm sure you're more sensible than either of those options, so the only option left is to drop it and move on. Oh, and next time remember to take a disposable camera, or maybe your multitasking husband can take on the job of photographer amongst his many other jobs.

@socubatevira Love your user name!

Why is it so important to have copies of these photos where you were 8 months pregnant and on crutches? I'm sure you have a million other photos of your children so I'd just forget it and move on.

What would I do? Leave it. It's photos from one day of your life, why are they so important to you?

I think you are not explaining yourself very clearly here which is why people are asking questions and responding in a way which you are finding challenging. It seems like you are very OTT in your reaction but your implication is that there is a significant back story which you don't want to share (fair enough, your choice). Without that back story, the only legitimate response is - just forget about it and move on, it's really not a big deal. However if you want a different response perhaps you could try and explain why it is so important for you to have a copy of the photos?

Does it really matter?

Is it less about the pics and more about the fact this woman is now ignoring you op?

You talk about texting and asking the relative to forward photos - if your phone can receive photos it probably can take them too

It's more the case that the OP specifically mentioned her relatives looking at her 'Snapchat stories', suggesting her phone is capable of taking photos .

Though I'm sure there's a dripfeed backstory about neither of them having a camera phone on them that day.

@Mulberry72 thanks! Although think it maybe should be 'baci'?

What a strange thread! As other PP have said, in the absence of a coherent explanation as to why this is so important, I guess the only response you will get is "let in go".

You have every right to be a bit annoyed that you didn't get the photos but other than that there's not much else you can do. Let it go. Get a camera. Take pictures of your kids yourself. Live your life and move on from this tiny blip.

I can only assume the stress you are feeling is because you fear your relatives may use the pictures for some kind of financial or personal gain? I'm making this assumption is based on your description of you being 'papped' but apologies if I'm off kilter there.

Personally, I'd not ask again - in the huge scheme of things it was photos taken over a few hours on one day - if the person who took said photos is ignoring you - then there isn't anything you can do.

Did someone actually post that?

Yes. The whole world was inexplicably drawn to them.

So sorry your lo is ill, I hope they improve soon. For the photos maybe they will get around to it and genuinely don't realise how upsetting it is for you, I sometimes have good intentions of doing something quickly and then before I know it months have gone by
I know you are low/nc with some of them so this might not work but if you are in contact with any of the others even the b&g it might be worth mentioning that unfortunately you didn't get a chance to take any pictures of your family and if anyone had any you would like some copies?

I suspect you are famous OP as it's the only explanation for the paparazzi-like scrum for photographs.

What is strange though is why the relative is ignoring you. I would be pissed off with that too as it is very rude.

Going against the tide here, I would actually message then again. Say how much it means to you to have the photos for personal reasons and that you had been relying on then to send you the images as you hadn't been able to take your own photos. If they still blank you then you can rightly write them off as being utter wankers.

*them not then.