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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving child in hotel room

116 replies

smileygrapefruit · 03/09/2017 15:41

Me, DH and DC were at a wedding yesterday that was in a hotel. Most of the guests were staying at the hotel as it was in the middle of no where. My DC had been playing all day with our friend's 1 yo DS. At the evening reception my DC asked the parents where their DS was as they wanted to dance with him... "he's in bed" they said. Turns out they had just put him to bed in their hotel room and gone to the party. They didn't even go back to check at all, all evening. We kept our DC up til 9ish then took it in turns to sit in the room with them. I had to stop my DH from telling them how awful their behaviour was, didn't want to cause a scene, but was IBU to do so? Maybe he would have guilt tripped them in to going back to their room. How should I have dealt with this situation or is it no body else's business??

OP posts:
ssd · 03/09/2017 15:43

I'd have been appalled but kept quiet...and remember never to ask them to babysit for you..

MiniMum97 · 03/09/2017 15:44

I personally would have had them asleep in buggies with me or let them stay up if they could stay awake.
I don't think I would have been comfortable leaving them in a room on their own and nut checking on them. What if they woke up? Did they have a baby listener?

Sirzy · 03/09/2017 15:46

Not even a monitor to listen for him waking up?

I wouldn't do it at all but certainly not without a monitor

cariadlet · 03/09/2017 15:47

YNBU to think it's shitty parenting.

I wouldn't leave a 1 year old in a hotel room on their own . Anything could happen from the very likely eg they could fall out of bed or wake up unexpectedly and be upset to be on their own to the very unlikely eg a hotel fire making it difficult to get back to the room and rescue them.

This is when you need to do tag-team parenting, taking it in turns to be in the bedroom and to be downstairs enjoying the party.

But you were probably right to dissuade your DH from saying anything. Your friends would probably have got very defensive, there would have been a scene, that could have spoiled things for the bride and groom, your friends probably wouldn't have accepted that they were in the wrong so nothing would have been achieved anyway.

backOffSunshine · 03/09/2017 15:48

Yes, you're a much better parent than they are.

Flowers
octoberfarm · 03/09/2017 15:49

I'd have been absolutely horrified - I have a one year old and he generally sleeps like a log, but what if he'd woken up feeling poorly, or scared, or if something had happened, and no-one had been back for hours? If they'd had a continuous video/audio feed that they were monitoring, and if they were checking him constantly, that would be one thing (although I'm on the cautious side so still wouldn't have done it), but no checking at all? I would have had to have said something. Although I can see how it would be super awkward, and I'm not sure what I'd have said.

Is it too late to say something now? How well do you know them?

EssentialHummus · 03/09/2017 15:49

Obviously a hugely emotive topic since the McCann case. I wouldn't leave them, personally - either in a buggy with you, or up, or parents taking turns to stay in the room. But in practice I would quietly judge and say nothing.

Original poster
smileygrapefruit · 03/09/2017 15:50

Yes, I was appalled but kept quiet. DH was livid and wanted to tell them so but I persuaded him not to.
No monitor, 4 floors away from the wedding, they just said "he won't wake up once he's asleep"...fine, probably, but what if he did?!

OP posts:
ItsAllAboutThePace · 03/09/2017 15:50

Not something I would do either

Original poster
smileygrapefruit · 03/09/2017 15:53

backoff I'm definitely not perfect but I wouldn't leave my DC alone in a strange room for hours and hours...

OP posts:
ShapelyBingoWing · 03/09/2017 15:53

Confused I struggle to bring myself to pull the bins round to the front of my block of flats because it would leave me on the wrong side of lockable doors to DD and I would be unable to hear her. I will never understand the type of parent who thinks this is alright.

ElephantsYeah · 03/09/2017 15:54

My ds doesn't usually wake up once he's asleep, but I'd never do that (at least not until he's old enough). That's terrible parenting.

mogulfield · 03/09/2017 15:55

We did this once at a very small hotel, but we did have a monitor and we weren't far from the room at all (obviously locked the door). We did go and check periodically as well, and were back in the room by 10pm.

Mittens1969 · 03/09/2017 15:56

That is terrible parenting, their poor DC. A 1 year old could easily wake up and be scared at finding themselves on their own. When away at a hotel, DH and I have always taken it in turns to stay with our DDs so they're never on their own.

It's definitely a risk as well, as has been said, what if there were a fire???

mogulfield · 03/09/2017 15:57

Sorry I've just read they were 4 floors away with no monitor?! Bloody hell thats relaxed parenting (trying not to be judgemental).

PlasticPatty · 03/09/2017 15:58

It was normal when I was a child.

Original poster
smileygrapefruit · 03/09/2017 15:58

Thanks all. I was pretty sure most would agree that it's poor form but also wondering if I should have said something? It's niggling at me.

OP posts:
Sunbeam18 · 03/09/2017 16:00

Basically what the McCanns did, but they left the door unlocked too. Insane thing to do.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/09/2017 16:07

Shock. I can't believe people are still doing this after Madeleine McCann. I wouldn't leave dd (9) asleep alone in that situation. Mind you she'd want to stay up later than me these days.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 03/09/2017 16:11

It was normal when we were children - then the McCanns did it and everyone realised it was a bloody stupid thing to do.

It's really not tricky to hire a babysitter to come to a hotel for a wedding. OK, it's not someone you know, but youcan go via companies like Sitters or find local childcare providers who'll come to a hotel, many hotels can provide names for you to contact. We have shared babysitters with other families and put all DCs in one room with a local childminder who just called reception who came to get us when one woke up.

GabsAlot · 03/09/2017 16:12

what if they startd choking or there was a fire

idiots-all for a night off

Looneytune253 · 03/09/2017 16:12

Did the hotel have a baby listening service maybe? Clutching at straws. Mind recently I met up with someone and was horrified to hear she'd left her niece and nephew at home when her husband was defo asleep, he would never wake up that early on a Sunday morning and would be dead to the world. The kiddies were only about 7 and 3. Much later on she also happened to mention an older step child (late teens) who was there. Perhaps they have a babysitter?

Seniorcitizen1 · 03/09/2017 16:18

Do people never learn - have they forgotten Madeline McCann

MrTrebus · 03/09/2017 16:22

This reply has been deleted

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Lethaldrizzle · 03/09/2017 16:22

Madelaine mcann is still so much on everyone's minds because what happened was so unusual. I think it's really none of your business.

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